o.

SONG — “make yourself” bai incubus [english]. hehe i love playing rock music loudly ^_^ WAL i am.
MOOD — fine.

11:07 AM — i’m leaving to go on a retreat later today… gonna be back on monday. i kno i kno yoo’ll all miss mee soooo much but it’s okay… supress your… missing mee. O_O hopefully it’ll be fun… the only seniors (well technically we’re not seniors anymore) going are mee, phil [wu], jeremy, and karen [li]. i think it’ll be odd. hehe.

i want to watch “O”… that movie with julia stiles and mekhi phifer and that other guy. that other guy is kyoot. mekhi phifer is hot… it all balances out ^_^ julia stiles is alright… she’s so sarcastic… psh… i hate sarcastic people >P hrm i was gonna go pack and stuff then get gas and go to phil [wu]‘s house to watch “memento”… since i still haven’t seen that — grrr… and oh yeah i am going to hear the song he is composing for mee and claire teehee =)

12:55 PM — okay i think i’ll jes veg @ home since i have a whole lotta shiet to take care of ^_^

TODAY I HAVE CONCLUDED (well actually i concluded this a couple of days ago) — i need to spit excessively ike i’m a smoker but i’m not even a smoker so if i were a smoker that’d be gross. ewwww.

so faht.

SONG — “still in love with you” bai new edition [english].
MOOD — i feel ‘faht’ as phil [n] so enjoys saying >P

2:07 PM — i jes woke up hehe. actually i woke up @ 10 in the morning too cuz dahye called mee to ask if i could go to frisco today… i couldn’t… so yah… went back to sleep and mom woke mee up. boooo. i still wanna sleep hehe. now i have to go cook maiself mac and cheese… =) the one thing i can cook! hehe. dude i was lookin @ the scale yesterday and i weigh 100 pounds now… and that was after dinner!!! before i was like 107. damm i didn’t realize i lost so much weight O_O plus i eat soo much junk food now. weird.

someone rock-music-savvy answer mee this : who sings a song that goes somewhat like “you are so special / i wish i was special / but i’m a creep” and i dun remember the rest of the lyriks? very mello rock song. quite good…? ah i jes found out it is “creep” bai radiohead [english]. man that’s the first radiohead song i’ve heard that i’ve liked. unless i am thinking of another group and thinking they’re radiohead O_o

man go to http://www.chiasso.com. this store is soooo sik. last tym when i went to seattle mee and tin-win were like whoa this place is so tyte!!! and then we came back and realized there’s one @ embarcadero too… hella tyte. kinda expensive, but tyte. i think imma subscribe to their catalog when i’m in college, hehe ^^* WAL. but it’s soooo cool… grrr… i’m friggin looking thru every single section now looking for a sale item but the only thing i found was a $3 inflatable clock… dun really like that. dammit, why dun they put more stuff on sale?! oh i found an ice cream spoon for $1 too and i was gonna buy it but i figured it would look slightly ridiculous if i ONLY bought a spoon… >P

12:20 AM — i jes got home twenty minutes ago from berkeley. AND MAI MOM WASN’T MAD! even tho i’m technically grounded! WHOAHOA! man i like how mai parents always say i’m grounded but i’m never REALLY grounded. har har. it’s weird cuz they didn’t want mee to go to frisco but they didn’t care about mee going to berkeley… well thas cuz i said i haven’t seen sherry in soo long but yeah hehe. well this afternoon i went over to phil [wu]‘s house with dave [lee] and dave drove us to berkeley… we visited phil [n] at his apartment and watched this japanese anime movie… i think it was called “perfect blue”. it was kinda trippie… =) then we ate dinner @ daruma’s where some korean student association was going on. they were showing a video that was quite… interesting. haha. upon entering :

girl — oh are you guys here for the korean student association?
phil [n] — oh my gosh… i’m korean!

whoa, what a concept! hehe. WAL. i can’t stop saying that -_- outside of daruma’s we saw ken [park]. psh. WAL!

ken — do yoo remember me?
mee — of course i remember yoo. do yoo remember mee?
ken — oh of course.
mee — then what’s mai name?
ken — uhhh… shoot… uh it’s that chinese name.
mee — wrong.
ken — o fine then what’s mai name?
mee — ken.
ken — o.
his girl — *teehee… of course everyone knows yoo ken *teehee

and then i saw dahye’s friend chris [kim] and i pointed @ him and couldn’t think of his name so i was jes like “o crap yur um um dahye’s friend!” and he was like “o ya!” and i was starting to say, “do yoo remember mee?” but then he saw dave and completely ignored mee and so yeah. -_- he looks sooo much like kevin [liang]… except less sweaty. hehe. ^^*

anyways. hehe after a while we jes went to sherry’s dorm where jeanette and angie were so we pretty much sat around and then decided to go eat. but then there was some miscommunication and sherry, jeanette, and angie ended up going to yogurt park while mee, phil^2 and dave went to mel’s… blah. man friggin dave kept harassing mee and ugh… *cry

TODAY I HAVE CONCLUDED — super sundae’s are really big. -_- sickeningly big. that and I LOVE CANTO GUYS. THEY ARE SO HOT. and i like their language O_O of mai stalkees are ALLLLLLLL canto, with an exception of phil!!!! #1, #2, ex-#4, #5 (anthony), #6 (skater boi). wow. i must love cantos. =) and i put all these canto guys subconsciously on mai stalkee list. that means… i’m destined to be with a hot canto guy! =)

(fil’s response:)
I feel so bad for you.
About Dave that is. Well at least u’ll have a weekend free of Dave! hahahha!

list happy!

SONG — “in due time” bai outkast [english]. much luv to these two weirdos. weirdo pryde.
MOOD — good

10:50 PM — man soo much american music lately, eh? i dunno why. i jes randomly decided to bust out all mai old american cd’s and listen to them ^_^ half of them i forgot i even owned. man… memories *sniff. oh well. i have concluded today that i make lists for everything. wal. i have lists for ‘people i stalk’ (inside joke), people are ‘are mai husbands’, hrm… songs i need to download, cd’s i need to buy, people i need to give pictures to, etc. kinda weird because even tho i do all that kinda stuff i’m still hella disorganized. i’m organized when it comes to retarded things like putting cd’s in order or rearranging books from smallest to biggest but not for like… other more important stuff. can’t really think of any examples O_O

this morning i went to eat lunch with phil [wu] and xinlei. i can’t remember the last tym i saw xinlei before today. twas a long tym ago. man, the three psychos all @ one lunch together. puahaha. >P twas interesting. mee and xinlei’s water tasted funnie… we couldn’t exactly pinpoint it but it was kinda rubbery or airy or SOMETHING. so then phil got his sprite and he said that tasted funky too (and without us even mentioning the funnie tasting water). sooo… as we were leaving i left the waitress a note saying “there’s something wrong with the cups. it makes the water funky tasting. thanks but fix the cups.” hopefully they did. or else… *DUN DUN DUN.

so yeah after that i went to work… it was hella late… like 1:30 PM (i usually go around 11:30 AM) so yeah i jes stayed there for like three hours (which is actually the latest i’ve stayed there) and then afterwards i went to pick up bedsheets i ordered from jcpenney’s… hrm… and then i went to long’s drugs to pick up drugs for mai mom (yeah dOod… weeeeed… >P) dammit and i bought a nestea and i jes realized i left it in mai car. oh well. it’ll be mutated and kill mee tomorrow. yesss O_O uh anyway. then i went to get mai car washed for free (bai yet another guy in women’s panties. jes messin… shell gives free car wahes if yoo fill up yur car there). after that i went home. and right when i got in the house xinlei, fontaine, and claire called mee on 3-way. man. talk about good timing. and they wanted to do something but claire didn’t have much cash or gas (teehee that rhymes) so we jes went to room with a cue to shoot pool — again. actually i haven’t been there for a week and a day! that’s kinda long O_O then again i DID play pool in berkeley this past weekend but stilllllll. mai dad is still psycho about how pool places are dangerous and how ‘chang chang qu nai zhong di fang bu tai hao’. roiiiiight. WAL. well dun matter cuz somehow i convinced them into letting mee out of the house even tho i am still technically grounded. =)

so yeah i went over to claire’s house for a bit and as i was leaving her house i said “bye” to her dad and i guess he thought i was claire cuz he was like “bye sweetie”. or maybe not. iono. so we went there and we met up with xinlei, phil, and jason. then dahye showed up and we ended up going to her house afterwards cuz dahye always likes people going to her house. i luv talking in big groups of people… it’s funnie cuz everyone talks hella loud about something one moment and then the next moment it’s like complete silence hehe.

i was wondering who actually reads mai journal hehe. cuz sometimes it gets up to like 20 people… the people i kno of who read it regularly or jes once in a while are phil wu, xinlei, virginia, richard, josh, dave [liu], john, jeanette, tin-win, diana, dottie, chris [chang], and i think sherry has read it before too. so who are the rest of yoo nerdbombers? >P not that i dun lurv yoo because i do… i do lurv yoo! for the rest of mai life… yoo dun have to think twice… yessss.

TODAY I HAVE CONCLUDED — there is something retarded about mee that makes mee an easy target for people to pick on. doh… -_- oh yeah and dahye is evil too… hehe.

(xinlei’s response:)
cash + gas do not rhyme my dear.

and… + claire + dahye read it too i beliefs.

anyway.
1 socks? 2 socks.

i go sleep.
bye.

(fil’s response:)
No, ur just pick-on-able because of the way you react to things.
If you didn’t spaz, make funny faces, and squeal no one would pick on u.

deodorant = our friend.

SONG — “how you remind me” bai nickleback [english]. this song is sveeeet
MOOD — good

4:24 PM — uhhhhm. i jes got back from work a little bit. man, work sucks (whoa, i accidentally typed “sork wucks!” there… haha). the lady there (the one who tries to show off her english ‘skillz’ has the most annoying laugh… and ugh… super b.o.!!! it’s gotten to be a habit where i hold mai breath every tym she reaches over mee or something. ick *shudder. man… this is random… sorta. i was gonna write about this yesterday but i was in a shitty mood so i didn’t… man it’s so retarded that that family got $$ for their kid dying from choking on one of the lychee jelly things. that is such a crock of shit. someone could choke on ANYTHING godammit… yoo can’t jes sue for that! >_< grrrrr… it pisses mee off greatly. argh. oh well. -_- STOOPID AMERICA. >_< well tym to go shower and then see if i can beg mai parents into letting mee out of the house?? oh yeah word of advice : don’t eat rice krispie treats with milk. IT TASTES LIKE SHIT -_- figuratively! figuratively of course.

SONG — “if she only knew” bai 98 degrees [english].
MOOD — kinda depressed

9:33 PM — man… i’m so unhappy i don’t even know what to do… i feel so utterly helpless. i have been actually watching tv and napping a lot for the past couple of days because i don’t kno what else to do. right now i kinda just want to sit here and listen to depressing music and not talk to anyone. -_- but then i’d be bored. well i’m not bored yet. actually i have been writing lyriks / poetry… i haven’t written them in a long tym because i only write lyriks when i am actually feeling something i don’t kno how else to describe… *sigh. i would post it here but uh… i’m afraid of who might read it…

today i did nothing but worked… man work is depressing too. all i do is sit there and type in numbers. oh well @ least tomorrow is the last day of the week… hopefully… =( man i’m leaving in a month. @ the moment i wish i could leave now because of… reasons. i just wanna get away so i can quit being tortured… dammit. perhaps i will make more sense in the days to come.

the clock strikes 12.

* song of the moment * – “acoustic #3″ bai gOogOodolls [english]. man for one of their songs that is punkish the lead singer tries to sing punk-style and he jes sounds retarded.
* mood * – i’m so lonely! bOohOo =( i want a bf. again. -_-; back to mai old ways. will i ever learn?

11:46 PM — man there is absolutely nothing to do. i was gonna write mass e-mails now to kill time but i don’t even have anything to write for those *sigh. hrmph. i wasn’t allowed to go out today since i was technically grounded since i ditched work last tym… and mai parents said if i wrote an essay about what i’m going to do in college i could go out. so i wrote the essay in like twenty minutes and they still said i couldn’t go out. those bastards -_-; so now i am moping and thinking and frustrating maiself. it bites. to tell yoo the truth, today is one of the worst days i’ve had in a long time. and the only reason is not because i wasn’t allowed to go out… there’s much more. perhaps i shall elaborate upon that later. hopefully when the clock strikes 12 mai day will start to get better… oh darn, it didn’t. surprise, surprise.

in ten minutes i will be leaving for washington in exactly a month. whoahoa.

(fil’s response:)
*sigh

Your post is so depressing.

=D

You can find yourself a boifriend in Washington, and while your at it find me a GF ^_^

You can also find more people to add to ur stalkee list tee hee hee hee.

Psycho parents. I feel for ya.

(xinlei’s response:)
boooooooo.
it’s that vicious cycle returning again.
then you’ll get him.
then you’ll go…gasp. what am i doing.
then you’ll not want to be in a relationship.
then it’ll be over.
then you’ll never speak again.
then you’ll go to udubb.
and then.
and then.
and then.
[for the 'dude where's my car' effect. nothing is complete without it.]

but. but. but.
no negativity intended there )
just wanted to.
urm. remind.

but anyway, just just just i dunno…-> carpe diem much?

*dun dun dun*

NIGHT.

(my response:)
godammit, i am trying to carpe diem-ish… it’s jes not easy >_< thanks for the uh reminder tho.

(xinlei’s response:)
i know. =X
bleh.
it’s ok…

we shall seeing.

arrr!

* song of the moment * – “if your girl only knew” bai aaliyah [english]. aaliyah tribute, i guess.
* mood * – i’m… i don’t kno… mai mood is sorta undescribable =(

10:26 PM — today was nothing but church… i set the alarm to 8:30 am and i woke up and pressed snooze and then i ended up sleepin thru mai alarm til 9:50 am or something… blah so i was like an hour late for church. that bites. oh well. after church mee, karen [li], phil [wu], and jeanette jes went to fiesta taco for lunch and then we came back and we friggin sat around mai car baking in the sun for like almost an hour. what looooosirs. -_-;

later mee, mai mom, and phil and his mom went to buy sheets from jcpenney’s… hehe cuz dave [lee] hooked us up ^_^ the sheets were $9.99 + 30% discount. niiiice. >D and since we ordered from catalog, the lady said that if dave picked it up for us we might be able to get an additional 20% offa ours. sveeeet.

(fil’s response:)
Weeeeeee! What a predicament.

freakin allergic-ness.

* song of the moment * – “can you help mee” bai usher [english].
* mood * – bad cuz i’m itchy as a muthafarker.

4:38 PM — ugh. jes got home. slept over @ phil [n]‘s apartment last night with dahye and phil [hsieh]… BOO… friggin bbin-bbin brought smirnoff ices and i’m sooo friggin itchy now… i’m friggin allergic as hell (to alcohol). -_-; i could barely sleep all last night cuz i was sooo friggin itchy. it sucked!!!! booooo. -_-;;

well yesterday i was sleeping til like 12 pm which was hella early… cuz friggin dahye woke mee up, that pokgai… so she woke mee up and then uh huh we went to phil [n]‘s apartment and sat around for a while… and then after bbin-bbin came and got us all buzzed we went to some party thing… and mee and bbin^2 walked there and they made us go back so that i could get mai id… and so i went to get mai id and then we went back to the party again… it was @ a pizza parlor… hehe. there was a dj and arcades and drinking and pool tables… blah. so after a while bbin^2 called phil [n] and phil came to check it out… and we danced for a while and then tin-win decided to come… and then dahye wanted to come but we had to walk all the way back to phil’s apartment to pick up dahye and walk her to the party… and when we got back to the party it was 1 am and they weren’t allowing any more people inside [even tho we had been in-n-out hella times]. and so we jes ended up going to unit two (tin-win’s dorm) and playing pool and watching “road trip”. ODD movie. i hate tom green. but boi o boi do i lurv stiffler. puahaha. well anyways after that we jes went back to the apartment and talked and slept and talked in the morning too. blah. lots of relationshipal talk. and then we went from talking about relationships to talking about who was the best president. it was intereeeeestinggg. phil [n] is the funniest guy alive. =)

3:30 AM — uhhh… mai timing is all fuked up. okay. well actually today after i came back from berkeley, i ended up going to the mall with phil [wu] and dave [lee] and then going BACK to berkeley -_- AGAIN. as usual it was mee, phil^3, tin-win, and dave, and then jason showed up a couple of hours late… AS USUAL. blah. i jes found out that aaliyah died today. man, that’s so sad. usually i don’t care all THAT much when singers and stuff die but she’s so young… and pretty… and cool. and i was watching a documentary on her like last week and she was jes hella like… o yeah i love life… i love what i do. she was sooo awesome man. oh well… *sigh -_-; time to go to bed and die of itchiness!

oh yeah i forgot but earlier tonight we were walking around on telegraph and then there was a hella big fight and some guy got taken away to the hospital and his face was all fuked up and stuff… and the police blocked off like three whole blocks because of that… iono why but it was weird cuz that happened around 12 or something and when we left around 2 the streets were still blocked off. i guess it was something serious then? but it was funnie cuz we were in durant plaza and then this… hefty… policewoman came running by… only her running was so slo it was like she was walking… only she was running O_o; and she was supposedly trying to chase after some guy but she was so slo she could not have possibly caught up to him… and there was a donut shop in durant square so we were joking around saying that there was a doughnut sale… teehee. >P

no parents!

* song of the moment * – none. omg! i dun belief!
* mood * – pretty damm good! ^_^

4:42 AM — blah! i jes got home from phil [n]‘s apartment with tin-win, phil [wu], kevin [n], dave [lee] (for a little bit anyways), and jason… yah… cuz mai parents are in las vegas right now. ohhh hell yes! >P hehe. they think i’m sleeping over tin-win’s dorm tonight but i like coming home to sleep… even tho it’s hella late… er, early… er… well usually i would have gone to sleep about an hour ago anyways… so it’s not that big of a change… puahaha. i’m looking online to see if there’s anyone even online @ this time… there friggin is no one. so why would anyone go online @ this tym? friggin weirdos. anyways today was pretty interesting hehe. in the morning i went to work and i got off at about 3:30 or so… and then i decided to go to berkeley since people were already there… i got there and sat around @ phil [n]‘s place for a bit… then we walked around and ended up going to josh’s apartment for a bit… blah… he has such a nice apartment in berkeley… booooo. even tho the carpet is kinda nasty hehe. we played ps2 there for a while… man, ps2 is so friggin ugly looking -_-;; weetodded. man… random thought but no one better call mee early tomorrow and wake mee up. i think i am going to unplug the phone. if they need to talk they can call mai cell… blah. hopefully no one calls >P fuck frendz hehe. actually i am gonna turn off mai cell too… cuz i have three bars of battery but i think that three might die really quick… so i’m jes gonna turn it off… cuz i dun wanna recharge before it gets to one bar [even tho i KNO this is gonna get mee yelled @ later]. anyways, sorry, long tangent puahaha.

okay later that night we decided we were going to go to uc berkeley’s dance… but then the line was hella long [hella people left] and we couldn’t get in anyways [cuz they check id so that only berkeley students could get in there] so we ended up invading the nai cha place before it closed. puahaha. somehow we got them to open the door — well cuz there was a whole shietload of people who wanted to buy nai cha and ice cream hehe. man… they bug mee. they knew i could speak chinese cuz i was talking to them in chinese and still they insisted on speaking to mee with their janky ass english. i hate that. bOo. -_-; anyhoo. after that we went to tin-win’s dorm for a while and got bored… in the meanwhile dave [liu] and kevin were going door-to-door introducing themselves to people and pretending that they were berkeley students [they're both only 15]. hehe… it was kinda funnie. i think people actually believed that dave was a berkeley student cuz he looks old, but to kevin they were kinda like, “man, aren’t yoo a little young to be in college?” and he said that he graduated as a junior. puahaha. anyhoo. hrm… then we ended up going to the lounge downstairs and watching part of “clerks” which was an independent film that some other random people rented… it was sorta funnie but kinda slo and pointless also. but amOozing none-the-less. teehee. we were waiting for jason to get there… and when he finally got there we ended up going to phil [n]‘s place and sitting around THERE all night. we watched “the matrix” @ around 12-ish… and then we jes talked about all sorts of shiet… hehe. we had hella amusing conversations hahaha. we talked about getting stung bai bees, getting beat bai parents, phil [n]‘s strange and hilarious sleeping habits, and similar things… hehehe… it was sooo friggin funnie. man… everyone was laughing so hard =) and yeah, we didn’t do anything on mai first night without parents around, but actually i don’t really care. cuz i had a lot of fun jes sitting around and talking… blah. man… how sad i’m going to be leaving to go to washington… bOoHoO. who knows how often i will see all these people? not that i don’t want to go to washington — i do… cuz seattle is really koo… and i’m sure i’ll make new friends too but it’s still sad. blah… i’m getting all nostalgic AGAIN. that’s all i seem to do these daze. oh well. tym to go to bed… blah. talk later. bai.

i’m retarded

* song of the moment * – “yaksok (promise)” bai fly to the sky [korean].
* mood * – pissed off @ maiself.

10:18 PM — i jes got lectured @ for an hour bai mai parents cuz i am retarded. today i was supposed to go to work but instead i went to dahye’s house and didn’t do much anyways. so later tonight, i was on the way to hacienda crossings after going to room with a cue with fontaine, claire, ken, and jason when mai mom called… apparently mai office had called saying i didn’t go to work today when i told mai mom i HAD. so… i got in trouble. supposedly i can’t go out for the rest of the summer but i doubt that will happen. -_-; god, i am so retarded. mai parents jes pointed out every single flaw i have imajinable and god, i hate mee… i am so stoopid. they said i was selfish, too negative, careless, didn’t ever apologize, and never thought things were mai fault… godammit, they are all true… i’m a retarded girl… i pity all yoo people who kno mee well.

moving, schmoving.

* song of the moment * – “rain” bai david tao [mandarin]. muaha?
* mood * – sorta tired… actually only cuz mai contacts’re dry. imma take them out.

12:44 AM — technically it isn’t the 19th anymore, but oh well. >P

i jes got home. CAN YOO BELIEVE IT? mai mom was kinda mad but only cuz mai phone died… haha. mai cell phone is always dead cuz the batteries are shit and they always drain out… and then mai mom gets mad ^^* for good reason, i SUPPOSE. well today we went to berkeley to help sherry and tin-win move in. man — definitely exciting. it’s so fun to watch everyone rearrange their room… and interesting to see what kind of people yul meet. tin-win’s living in unit two and the people there seem uhhh… more… i don’t kno — typikal?? the people in foothill [where sherry is living] are so different. we kinda hung out with them cuz before we left we were playing mafia with them and stuff [well only mee and jeanette were, but still] but it’s so weird… cuz they’re not people that i’d usually hang out with. i mean i dunno about the girls, but the GUYS. they are so different from mai guy frendz. it’s soooooo weird. o_O

anyways after sunday service @ church i went to sherry’s house with jeanette and allen [chang] showed up to help her move in and stuff too… he brought a van so we jes took two vans — his van and mine… and we unloaded all the stuff… blahblah… then we ate a nasty ass dinner @ foothill… it was so gross. and what the hek… this year i didn’t see a single hot guy @ berkeley [with an exception of vince [pavesi] but he is old and not an incoming froshie]. blah. berkeley guy good-lookingness is going downhill man. wtf. >P man, if only mai stalkees went to that skool. PUAHAHA.

okay yeah so we jes hung out @ sherry’s for a while, and then @ tin-win’s, and then mee, allen, virginia, and phil [wu] went to walk the streets of berkeley… too bad everything is closed there on sunday nights -_- and after a while we went back to unit two’s lounge and jes sat around watching tv while we waited for tin-win to get out of her floor meeting… when she got out it was like 9:30 PM and then we went over to sherry’s and sherry ended up not even being there and blah… we went on this long journey following around an r.a. looking for munchies and he misleaded us and we didn’t get to eat jack shit. BOOOOO hehe. oh well. i guess. and then somewhere during that journey friggin allen ended up talking to some chik and hella ditched us til like 11:30 and blah… it was stooooooopid.

oh yeah when we were @ unit two, they have co-ed bathrooms and so i had to go pee and stoopid allen, phil, and andrew jes stood in the stalls next to mee and wouldn’t let mee go pee… *sniff… cuz i wasn’t about to go pee next to a buncha guys when they weren’t even peeing and were jes listening to mee! THOSE BASTARDS!

(fil’s response:)
i did NOT stand by the stalls WTF, i proceeded to but only allen and andrew did. not my fault ur a good target for picking on.