extreme!!!

i’m listening to… plain white t’s.
i’m feeling... UHHH.

11:30 pm — wow, so like three days ago i went to the post office to pick up my mail, and there were like 20 cds in the mail. so basically, i’ve been listening to new music constantly. it’s a bit overwhelming. seriously, everything is starting to sound good. there’s been only about three albums that i thought were not good, and they were all from the same label, and that is probably just cause i don’t prefer that kind of music. X: i don’t know how good this is, because i’m probably going to end up making hasty decisions and what not :0 this is why help is needed. sigh.

hmmm reminder to self to e-mail the bellingham print people about how to cut costs for the next issue…

on monday (today is wednesday), me, mike, lenny, and cynthia went snowboarding. i kept forgetting shit. -__-’ so we had to go back a bunch of times, cause i’m a noobar. :/

the snow was actually really good for once. probably the first and only time i’ve had good snow in washington. and people say, “IT SNOWS IN CALIFORNIA?!” whatever, dude, the snow in tahoe is easily 40,000x better than the snow in washington. ;/

the word of the day was “EXTREME!” with emphasiseseses. it got a little overplayed, but still. on the way back, mike and cynthia decided to play the con game or something, making as many sentences as possible using words that start with con, like, “this is so confusing and convoluted.” or something. it was… interesting. how retarded are we, that the funnest things we do are word-game-related. what? retarded? or AWESOME?

but yeah it was good. steven’s = 2391849123x better than snoqualmie, i swears.

today was a poopy day… woke up in the morning, hella early, like 5:30 or something, since my car was in the shop so i had to take the bus :/ missed the 6:13 bus. or 6:19. whatever. the sign and the time online show different times. ended up getting there a teeny bit late. and then anthony brought me to get my car in the afternoon and i met up with an ais counselor to register for classes for next quarter. my schedule is like this:

M: (7:30am – 11:30am) analysis of form — ANOTHER FUCKING DRAWING CLASS I FUCKING HATE DRAWING WITH A PASSIONATE PASSION
T: (7:30am – 11:30am) college mathematics — GOTTA LOVE THE BA WITHOUT MATH, BUT THE AA WITH MATH!, (12:00pm – 4:00pm) intro to computer graphics
R: (7:30am – 11:30am) design layout, (12:00pm – 4:00pm) typography

i’m starting to think that ais is all a big waste of money… do i really need it, i wonder. it’s fun. and i probably WILL learn stuff… but right now it all seems so basic, and so unhelpful… :/

anyways, afterwards, i met up with ryan, this guy who works at tower records… basically, he really likes writing, so he’s going to help redefine write. FINALLY – someone who knows somewhat about zines, music, etc, who hasn’t flaked out on me. it’s amazing. although… often they flake out after meeting me… cause i must really make a poor impression or something. brawrrr.

i then proceeded to go to class, or so i thought – we were supposed to meet at our teacher’s studio in ballard… but… mapquest sucks, and it showed nw leary way as in between market and 50th, but there was no such thing in such a position. my grade is going to suffer… i hope i don’t somehow lose financial aid, because oh my god. i will be murdered.

i swear, mapquest fails me at least half the time.

bad luck is my middle name. i’d say it’s poor karma, but as john [tran] told me, karma is something different altogether.

liz bought this giant bag of easter egg-type things that have four different flavors (caramel, butterfinger, reese’s, and crunch bar)… basically, it’s love, but it’s death at the same time. the end.

nordheim fucking spoils you dude. i like… don’t want to move out. ever. wtf am i doing. X__X maybe i should just get on and get out of school. shat. i don’t know that i can justify spending so much money… :/ i’m so stressed out. i wish my room could be perpetually clean (but i have too much stuff for this to be possible, i think)… cause i think half my stress comes from a messy ass work environment. :/

meow.

i’m listening to… four mae songs have been on repeat for the past like three hours… http://www.purevolume.com/mae/ meow.
i’m feeling… UHHH.5:11 am — since i have time at the moment, updating the journal is probably a good idea. lots of stuff have been happening lately, so i guess…

i don’t even know where to start. all the days kind of blur together into one giant ball of… stuff.

so uh on thursday we were supposed to go to the freaking yamashiro’s for happy hour, but it was closed when we got there, so we ended up going to denny’s. it was lenny, mike, ray, eva, nathan, liz, and anthony… we kept harrassing the waitress, and at first she was totally like BRAWRRRRR but then it was okay. the manager was cool, and they were okay with our harassing after a while, it seems. nathan asked for a bowl of lemons to make impromptu lemonade with, but ray took them all, and so they asked for another bowl, which they ended up putting in the pitcher of water. he asked for more, but DENIED. but yeah the lemoned water was pretty damned gross. pfft, and anthony said we only played 21-questions because we had nothing else to talk about. pfft. diss.

so yesterday a bunch of people came over… the night included such folks as arlen, farm, mike, jeff, lenny, liz, kathy, alex, brett (who came back from wsu), eva, ray, and bear (ray’s huge ass yorkie terrier)… i think that’s everyone. i think. yeah though – we were supposed to go the uw lesbian gay transgendered drag show prior to coming back to our house, but we were late because we had to go buy michael chang alcohol before the liquor store closed… so we made him dress up in drag as the punishment. he wore liz’ red dress with eyeliner, some girly hat, lipstick… he’s a hot ass woman dude. he has such womanly body features. :0

i suck though. in an attempt to make good photography out of his womanliness, i took pics, and the deal was that i couldn’t take pics. damn, i thought he’d be drunk enough not to remember that, but clearly not. so the original deal was that he had to lipsync to a song, but since i touched the camera, that didn’t happen T__T

so i admit it arlen. the “ali g show” is awesome. it’s true. every episode makes me cackle like an idiot.

today me, cynthia, and lenny decided to go to the park. we walked from cyn’s apartment, which is close to lander and terry… it was like… a 12 block walk, but it was really entertaining for some reason. it was exploring a new area for sure… just walking up the street cynthia lives on was totally wtf… people have the weirdest shit in their front lawns… if you were to steal one thing from every house’s lawn, you could probably build a fort or castle of tin and plastic cats or something.

also, the houses were really weird… we started rating them on the way back… it’d be a really nice, newly remodeled looking cozy house on one side, and then one super ghetto wire-fenced-up house with dead rose bushes or something.

anyway, the park rocked. we talked about building a giant swing or something on the underside of this stone bridge thing… it’d be awesome scary death. and we tried to stand up in the middle of the stupid merry go round shit. THAT THING IS SO NOT FUN. and standing up is so hard. cynthia is the only one who could do it. she’s a champion playgrounder. there was also this rope line swing thing of doom. i’m surprised little kids don’t die from it. and good places to spraypaint. shit, i want to. there was also this little stream lake thing that all these little kids kept plopping rocks into. ah, youth… maybe that’s why being curious about everything and going on quests is so fun. it’s so… kid-like.

on the way back we passed by this house with this heart in a circle with an ex thru it (it was made out of christmas lights… kind of like a no-smoking sign, but with a heart instead of a cigarette)… anyway, i felt compelled to write them a letter, so i found a receipt in my bag, and wrote them a letter something along the lines of, “dear sirs and madams, excuse my writing for my hands are frozen (it was so bad), but upon returning home from a quest to ravenna park, i stumbled upon your (insert photo of heart cross-out thing) and felt obliged to write you a note. I LOVE YOU. I AM A GIRL. CALL ME.” and i wasn’t going to leave a phone number, but i ended up doing it i hope they call! and aren’t straight freaky crazy!

** ADDED IN 2008: SOME GUY CALLED ME FROM THIS HOUSE WHEN I WAS IN LOS ANGELES WITH JEANETTE. HE WAS A FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN THE HOUSE. HE WAS A GRAFFITI ARTIST. IT WAS A FUN CONVERSATION. I SAID I’D CALL HIM WHEN I GOT BACK IN TOWN SO WE COULD HANG, BUT I TOTALLY FORGOT I’D SAVED THE NUMBER UNTIL NOW (IT IS APRIL 2008 AND THAT WAS LIKE, IN SEPTEMBER 2007). THE NUMBER IS (206) 778-0086… HMM I SHOULD CALL IT SOMETIME… **

there have got to be more quests… i love questing, but no one ever does it cause everyone is too lazy to walk around. but it’s fun. and i want to shroom. and walk around outside. but that usually results in people freaking out, so i don’t know.

shiet, i gotta get a move on for the stupid magazine. SHIT, I NEED ADVERTISING REVENUE. asidjoaigjoiasjd. crappola :[ why is it so hard... at least we have good writers now, but the money... squat shit.

yesterday my mom told me to hurry up and find a conventional job.
i said no thanks.
i just like to spend your money.
someday, it WILL be worthwhile. damnit.

i haven't done anything in so long. tomorrow will be productive... productive? productive. damn you lenny.

random things from the past few days (likely to change as i actually remember things):
[1] susan posted on her xanga she wanted to get a tattoo, and maybe she’d get something christian so that christians would think it were okay. me and liz told her to get either stigmata tattooed on her or a giant cross on her back. ^__^
[2] liz bought me a spongebob squarepants coloring book. i’ve been coloring people pages. i’m such a freak. but coloring is straight fun man.
(anthony’s response:)
i think you should just let your hormones go and have sex. haha jk. well with me, than im not. hahah jk again. i wasnt so much as uncomfortable as what the heck kind of questions are these to ask while im sitting at a table trying to eat food…

(lenny’s response:)
Dude how can you be so open about sex and horny online but in real life youre like mister quiet! Vee and I are going to have our way with you. Those questions are perfectly normal and dinner worthy! In fact I’d be disappointed if those questions werent asked.
By the way, nice reply ant! <3

(anthony’s response:)
ooops wrong button
i am really not that quiet in real life. just depends who im with and what the situation is. I dont know why im quieter around the nordy girls than other people, considering ive known them for over 4 years now… i guess i dont have a great deal in common with them where i can just say stuff and have it make sense to them. ;0

i love sleep.

i’m listening to… armor for sleep.
i’m feeling… tired.

4:00 pm — hate sleeping? well here’s how you learn to love it… DON’T DO IT AND THEN IT WILL BE GRAND. never have i loved sleep as much as i have now. i never really sleep much but i’ve been sleeping in 2/3 hour segments for the past couple of days and it is like death.

yesterday was vday… i ate nothing all day but sugar. -__- until maybe at 11:30 at night. early early that day (like 2 am i’m saying), arlen and farm came over to distract me from doing hw, bearing gifts… and their idea of gifts is like the king size, i-have-never-bought-that-size giant slurpee the size of my head. and keep in mind right before that me, eva, ray, anthony, and liz had JUST gone to the ram for happy hour and eaten a whole meal, along with mud pie (a giant, delicious, ice creamy sugary death mud pie) for dessert. and farm and arlen also brought these mint chocolate chip type oreos which were damned good too – so basically it was like DEAAATH for all of valentine’s day. and my moods were like up, down, sugar high, sugar crash. death.

anyway speaking of the ram – that day was full of food too. at around 3 or 4 pm me, eva, ray, and liz all went to costco, and then to lover’s package where liz bought a pair of handcuffs (we all know why), and then to 99 ranch. and then to ram. and then to explode. at costco we talked about why we are the way we are. liz is the way she is (opinionless about most things, does what she’s told) because her parents were controlling. eva comes up with crazy ideas because she was an only child and grew up doing a lot of weird things. ray constantly needs reassurance that people like him because his older sister always paid more attention to his little sister than him. i am the way i am because i am a hateful person (details to be detailed not here). and at dinner we were playing 20 questions (that’s totally not what the game is) but we were just going around in circles asking each other questions (99% of them were sex-related). it wasn’t the most fun, but some of it was interesting. AND ANTHONY WAS UNCOMFORTABLE. WEREN’T YOU, ANTHONY!!

and later that night like i mentioned arlen and farm came over and blahblah and then i was doing homework blahblah and then liz made them watch a stephen king movie with her “rose red” because she didn’t want to sleep in the room alone, i guess. i guess she done did was skurred. yeah so liz ended up falling asleep. at some point lenny came over. and then turns out the movie had 3 parts. WAY TOO FUCKING LONG. it was a four and a half hour movie, but it ended right in time for me to make lenny go to school with me in a ubar deliria… shit i could barely even finish sentences. it was retarded. then i took a two hour nap. then i went to work. blahr etc.

we had dinner @ 11:00 @ abc garden AGAIN because farm and arlen are like crazy and love it. and it was fun, and there were too many questions, and then it was home for more homework death mix.

whatever though things have been way too busy lately, i don’t even have time to think. i wish i didn’t fuck around so hardcore last week (I BLAME THE HORMONES… because i missed birth control-takage one day and then everything got hella weird) when i didn’t want to do anything and didn’t go to class at all… cause i basically fucked myself over this week. hardcore. no time to sleep, and no brain because of no sleep to think. i really don’t even know what i wrote about in here, like what days are which days, because of the erratic schedule of sleep, they all just kind of run together like water.

aaaahrrrr. anti-valentine’s day.

i’m listening to… the tv on fox.
i’m feeling… ok.

8:30 pm — too much fun, not enough work… but so much work to do.

anyway, to write about our anti-valentine’s day parti last night… it was eva’s idea… we planned it for a while. we wanted to make all these games and crafts cause were retarded. we made heart envelopes for people to write anti-valentine’s (you know when people used to give each other valentine’s?? well, anti-valentine’s say things like “DIE IN A FIRE, BIATCH” etc. -__-

we also had a board that we were thinking of throwing darts at… with cards on it with different tasks for people to do. also we had this board where the guy board was a bunch of sperms (with awesomely cut and pasted photos of our friends pasted on the sperm as the heads… wow i cannot speak english) trying to make it to an egg (which later apparently won the key to MY “chastity belt” — only the truth is the key is only level one and there’s actually a lazer eye scan and fingerprint scan as well). the girl side was pregnant girls trying to make it to the abortion clinic.

eva placed one of the sperm sideways, going off the board, and farm was wiggling the tail around… “SO CLOSE, SO CLOSE… BUT CAN’T TOUCH…” ahhh it was funny, even though it doesn’t seem like it. wow, i am talking like a retard. haven’t written in too long the brain is like dead.

hmm i’ll jump around. before the parti me and alex went on an adventure to mcdonald’s (bwok bwok!), northgate, liquor store, lenny’s store! it was an adventure like one cannot bereevs. and uh… the day before yesterday me and mike went over to andy’s place in kirkland (holy moses it’s far). and they have NO RECYCLING BIN even though they have so much recyclables in the trash brawawrrrarar. i borrowed “clockwork orange” from him – and it is straight up awessome. at first it seemed kind of hard to read but it turns out to be really easy to get a hang of.

oh yes and before me and alex went to the adventure, i went with mike to his friends eddie and robin’s place, and there were these two other guys named david there… and i pwned the noob! actually, i guess i only pwned mike, cause turns out the $10 i won came from him, but if we had stayed til the end, i would have liked to pwn the dave… there was a chubby dave and a skinny dave… the chubby dave was kind of funny sometimes but the skinny dave was annoying as a motherfucker, i straight wanted to sock him in the godamn face. i was shuffling cards on my lap and he’s like, “could you bring the cards up to the table? thanks.” and then mike and eddie had folded so they were just looking at the cards that other people folded also, and he was like, “could you please not look at the cards?” — okay, those things i sort of understand. it may be a little rude. he was like, “sorry, i just like playing poker conventionally.” but he kept going out of turn, so we kept telling him to stay on turn and go when it was his turn, and then that’s when he turned into a fucking annoying ass dickhead. he like refused to do anything until we said to him, “HEY, IT’S YOUR TURN.” what a bitch dude. and mike invited him to our parti, and so i was like, shit, and kind of annoyed… so hahahah robin and eddie ended up making excuses… first they told them that i cancelled the parti. but the two daves still wanted to hang out with them, so they were like, “uhh we need to go to qfc to buy… chips.” LOL. FUCKING FUNNY. but i guess it worked, so whatever. wtf?

anyway back to the parti. there were these two guys that came… no one really knew them but they knew some girls mike knew i guess. but yeah – like – one of them wanted to leave to go crabbing but his friend didn’t want to leave, so the fool who wanted to leave decides to punch out the glass on the fire extinguisher. and everyone in our apartment was just like WTF. and the thing was – HE WAS COMPLETELY SOBER. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU…!!! !! ! and i guess the two of them wanted to fight each other, but the girls had to talk them out of it or something. i have no idea, but it’s fucking stupid.

uhhh what else happened. MAN! andy wrote me the most awesome anti-valentine… it was like two run-on sentences of killing-death LOVE but i was showing it to liz this morning and i think i accidentally threw it out T__T out of all of the ones i could have possibly thrown out, WHY WAS IT THAT ONE… that was like the only awesome ass one :[

what else happened. uhhh. shit a lot of stuff happened. i only took two shots of absolut citron and i got drunk as fuck… it went away pretty fast, but initially it was supar drunkardness. i was light-headed after one shot, it was seriously the weirdest thing :0

apparently eva wanted to go outside to smoke, and so liz was like, “let me finish my beer,” and eva was trying to help her drink faster so she tilted the beer up and ended up spilling it all over her lmao.

and hojo gave me a lapdance cause it was one of the things on the card he drew. and then eva was like, “nuh uh, this is how it’s done,” and then she gave me a lapdance. and then everyone was like, “yea, she’s good.”

more when i think of it.

per request: yes, i’m on the pill.

i’m listening to… “good news” by something corporate (repeatedly).
i’m feeling… ok.

11:33 pm — weird, two days ago i wrote an entry @ the exact same time. o__O

anyway, went to the gyno today to get the cyst checked out. i do have a cyst. she gave me birth control pills to take for three months. so yay, no need for an ultrasound. hopefully the pain goes away, and hopefully uhhh birth control doesn’t reverse its freaky effects and give me pimples or something.

i am so stressed out, but for once i’m decently caught up on my work. road trips, road trips… i really want to go snowboarding, what the fuck ass. this snow is retarded. this weather is way weird. snow, damnit, snow.

pinch me!

we helped mike unpack their kitchen table today… i’m a fucking packrat. i ended up taking home styrofoam boards and corrugated recycled papers… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. wtf am i going to do with it? i don’t even know, but it’ll be grand. and i’ll get to that right after i learn to sew my own fucking clothes. i have so much fabric, just sitting there X__x maybe i should waste less time on the internet or something.

for my basic computers class we have to do a presentation on people that inspire us. it’s supposed to be one person, ideally, but mine is going to be on mc escher, brandon boyd, and darren aronofsky. h.o.t.t. – but i can’t say i’m the hugest aronofsky fan because i haven’t seen all of his movies… but tomorrow… i’ll go get the ones i’m missing. or something. X: and then it’s movie time.

and then she looked at me to scream, “my castles are falling.”

(nate’s response:)
i saw those pills on ur desk and i was gonna ask you but i thought itd be weird.. isnt this great now we dont have to use condoms! =P

(anthony’s response:)
you’re so cute when you’re frustrated. Sorry I didnt pick you up tonight. I’m a loser. I lose. But I won actually cause my drinks were free. That cyst stuff… thats kinda gross..but you’ll have to tell me about it sometime.. when im not eating or something

(lenny’s response:)
she doesnt need your chivalry, you scoundrel!
<3 anthony

asduashdiausdh.

i’m listening to… copeland.
i’m feeling… meh.

11:33 pm — eww so i guess my stomach pains were caused by a cyst i have near my ovary. they say it’s probably a fluid filled normal cyst… they said ultrasound, but the doctor said it’d hurt since i’m a virgin, so he is recommending that i go to a gynocologist first. shit, just as scary.

so i have this thing where i just buy books by random authors sometimes if they’re on sale… just to see how other people write and get a feel of how different writers write. i bought this book called “number nine dream” by david mitchell… and it started out really awesome… but then after starting it, you can’t tell the difference between what is real and what isn’t… it’s almost too surreal. with a movie, it’s decent, because you can kind of keep track of what’s real and what’s not because you have a better visual of what’s going on… but with a book, it’s just downright confusing.

speaking of confusing, me and alex watched “secret window” cause it was on hbo or whatever (my favorite channels)… and shit, that has a weird ass ending.

i think i lost my husky card or something T__T i really hope not!… it’s so inconvenient not having your husky card and having to go to work (especially since i get tickets now when i drive to work for a short period of time). T__T fuck dude, so much to do, so little time… no wonder i’m obsessed with efficiency and stuff. and recycling. for some reason i’m obsessed with recycling. it’s really odd.

(lenny’s response:)
“and recycling. for some reason i’m obsessed with recycling. it’s really odd.”
The Captain Planet episodes have done their job nicely.