quotes from vladimir nabokov’s “despair”.

from book i’ve been reading lately! nabokov is the MAN!!

“And what if it’s all a lie?” came his dull voice breaking the silence. “What if I don’t believe you?”

I did not stir.

“A lie,” he repeated a minute later.

I did not stir, and presently I began to breathe with the dispassionate rhythm of sleep.

He listened, that was certain. I listened to his listening. He listened to my listening to his listening. Something snapped. I noticed that I was not thinking at all of what I thought I was thinking; attempted to catch my consciousness tripping, but got mazed myself.

 

“I was always lonely, Felix, and I am lonely still. Women… no need to talk of those fickle and lewd beings. I have traveled a good deal; just like you, I love to rove with a bag strapped to my shoulders, although, to be sure, there were always certain reasons (which I wholly condemn) for my wanderings to be more agreeable than yours. It is really a striking thing: have you ever pondered over the following matter?–two men, alike poor, live not alike; one say, as you, frankly and hopelessly leading a beggar’s existence, while the other, though quite as poor, living in a very different style–a carefree, well-fed fellow, moving among the gay rich…

“Why is it so? Because Felix, those two belong to different classes; and speaking of classes, let us imagine a man who travels fourth-class without a ticket and another who travels first, without one either: X sits on a hard bench; Mr. Y lolls on a cushioned seat; but both have empty purses–or, to be precise, Mr. Y has got a purse to show, though empty, whereas X has not even that and can show nothing but holes in the lining of his pocket.

“By speaking thus I am trying to make you grasp the difference between us: I am an actor, living generally on air, but I always have elastic hopes for the future; they may be stretched indefinitely, such hopes, without busting. You are denied even that; and you would have always remained a pauper, had not a miracle occurred; that miracle is my meeting you.”

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