hanging out in the mall.

hung out the whole afternoon in the mall, like a buncha high schoolers. it was pretty fun. place gallery is in pioneer place and it’s, well, a gallery, that was donated by the mall because some of the shops closed down. hung out there because abe and gabe were conducting interviews. johnny met me downtown cause we were going to do “talk to us” — and we did, for a second or something, and it went alright and we had a couple brief encounters which were fun — but i ended up getting him interviewed, and then his friend showed up, and he got interviewed, and then jamie showed up, and she got interviewed, and then rose showed up, and she got interviewed… and basically we were in the mall all day, asides from taking a stroll to saturday (or sunday) market to get johnny a burrito (which turned out to be gross). then rose and i got chipotle. long live the chipotle. viva la fucking chipotle. chipotle my face. i’m too cheap to buy it these days (and it’s a bit far, and people dont like you buying chipotle), but i’m going to say it loud and clear, people: CHIPOTLE IS FUCKING DELICIOUS…!!!!

quick recap of people who actually did talk to us:
- dad with kid who was mostly talking to be polite but didn’t have too much to say. nice of him, though.
- lady saying, “what do you want to talk about? i’m getting hot flashes!” and then started to walk away, and i was like, “wait! what about them?” and she’s like, “you don’t want to know!” but we were like, “but we dooooooooooooooooooooooo…” as she was walking away.
- mexican dudes, one with a kid, who approached johnny and said, “what do you wanna talk about, nigga?” and ignored me completely, but it’s fine. they had dude time, talking about how the dudes were waiting for their wives, who were shopping, and johnny being like, “ahh yeah i know what that’s like, etc. etc.” snarf. dude time.

oh right and then we got back to the place gallery and were waiting for people to be interviewed, and i decided to write on a piece of paper, “what’s up? ** insert some other stuff i forget ** (—> there’s a pen)” and left a pen outside these locked glass doors. people could totally see inside and see us, and we could see them, but it was just a kind of fun project. a couple came by and the guy noticed the sign and said, “did you see that sign?” and they discussed it while walking away and then came back. they ended up asking us, “what should we eat for dinner?” and rose wrote back, “sunset on the beach,” and the guy wrote back, “is that a restaurant?” and johnny wrote, “pizza party,” and they said, “thanks, that helps.” although i’m not sure if it did. in any case, the other people in the room kind of judged them for being happy hour people, or said that they were the kind of people who would ask a question like that… but it’s weird. i’m not saying i’m completely without judgment, but those things didn’t cross my mind. nothing about, “this is the type of person i think they are…” crossed my mind whatsoever. i just simply took their answers at their complete face value… it’s interesting, anyway. the difference.

oh right, and the interview. i guess i’ll post the results here sometime soon, but it was some talk about growth, reliance on self, work, whether your 15-year-old self would be happy with your self at this present moment, whether present moment self is happy with your present moment self, and, in my case, how i respond to affection in public settings.

word.

by the way, i wanted to give a quick recap of the art i’ve been posting on create or die, since there’s stuff i’ve been more or less proud of.

installation in my backyard?

tape designs for cole’s band, holy zombi.

right fuckin’ on.

yeah.
the past couple days (and probably tomorrow, too) have been really, really positive and full of positive reinforcement. it’s kind of weird, really… to get so much positive reinforcement…
in any case…
i feel alright. lots of good conversation, and the general feeling that this is the way to progress in life right now. i’ve been spending at least a couple hours a day on art these days (and like, 5 or something tonight), and it feels really fucking good. like, great. like… stupidly great. it’s been like five years or something — since i was in art school for that minute — that i really paid attention to art and creating art, and i actually feel like i am honing in on a style now that… not only works for me, but makes me really, really stoked. i feel like i’m on the right path of creation! and what’s more! there’s people with whom to create with… people with whom to actually share this act of -doing-doing-doing-doing. it’s been… well… forever…? and i have to say… it literally all is manifesting itself into what it is because of the create or die project. perhaps it seems silly that a project such as this would make all the difference, but it has… it did… just the fact that i had to THINK about creating something everyday made the ideas come to mind. it’s like this astrology tape i’m listening to (see yesterday’s post)… the sheer intention and the statement of will to do something makes all the fucking difference.

and these art parties are fucking cool… cause the jealousy almost that i feel with people who are able to closely collaborate with one another on growing a musical project is that that allows for sharing your creative ideas with people who will help grow it. and while artists collaborate sometimes, yes, that’s an occasional thing, for sure. to be able to work in a room with a bunch of other people who are concentrating on the act of creation… fuck, it’s beautiful, and really great.

despite the one event of recent note that bummed me out, i have to say life is pretty fucking ideal. and yesterday’s conversation with a very tall pal who knows the situation from all sides also helped.

anyway. what i’m saying is. i think i’ve found a good balance of self, work, play, and friends. it feels… good.

i’m pretty into this poem, anyway.

done for the 365.

love it.

i love when i’m listening to music in my sleep and wake up and am just shocked by how good a song is. i remember it happening three times; once with the mars volta, once with tune-yards, and once last night, with the antlers. this is it. it kind of gave me chills. honestly, in day time, it’s not nearly as powerful as it was to me mid-sleep, with the volume all loud, but it’s still good, and i have a new respect for the antlers as of late, definitely.

—

also, my daily art submission, and a practice sketch for the video i’m going to make for hoop dreams later…

wh0a.

i’m listening to… the tallest man on earth. both albums.

it is currently 3:15am. what am i still doing up, you say? hell if i fucking know! well actually, i do know. i’ve been doing laundry since midnight (this reminds me of college), and then i’ve been making art since then, for the 365 day art project thing. am i insane? perhaps. but i’m feeling at least somewhat inspired, and it’s important to take those moments and at least try and transform them into something worthwhile. (did i just write a lecture to myself justifying my own actions to myself?)

it’s also just kind of fun to fuck around with this shit.

i’s been cruisin’ the video art world circuit lately, and again, i’m thinking, fuck, i wish i continued going to art school for motion graphics, because i have ideas — i just don’t know how to do things. but i see the shit a lot of other people are cranking out, and i’m thinking, bullocks. i can do better.

that’s kind of why i’m so stoked on this whole 365 day art project thing. maybe some people don’t need the discipline, but i do.

in any case. i’ve been thinking a bit about ethics and how — i guess — seriously i take things in general. how much more serious than a lot of people. mostly, they’re these weird, self-governed ethics that probably mean nothing to anyone except for me. in a basic way, redefine is an example of that; people are always saying how they’re kind of behind it from an ethical point of view. in many ways, i kind of think that’s why the thing has survived so long.

i imagine i’m proud of that idea.

at the risk of sounding overly high and mighty, i suppose, i’m going to say that i feel like that extends to a lot of my life. i don’t necessarily think this is always a good thing, but it just is. i’m a pretty extreme motherfucker. i was just thinking about the 365 day thing and how kind of seriously i take it. not everyone takes it that seriously, that’s for duh sure. but i was thinking… it doesn’t matter… i’ll be in vietnam or cambodia or whatever next month, and i will fucking make it happen. maybe i won’t be able to actually post the entries on a daily basis, for lack of internet or whatever, but i know for damned sure i will make the actual act of daily creation happen, whether it’s grueling or what.

these are kind of the weird ethics i live by. they don’t really mean shit to anyone, i feel like, and hardly anyone’s going to notice a godamn difference, but it matters to me… a lot.

things we decided to do today.

hey really random assortment of pals!
[other note here: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=489003693857]

my friend and i decided to start on a project today and thought it might be fun to invite some others to participate

// the task //
to create one piece of art per day for the next 365 days. doesn’t matter how crude/polished. any medium you want. (and maybe occasional group assignments if people are into it?)

we’re gonna set up a tumblr or wordpress that everyone has access to, and everyone will post their piece for each day on it

// the original punishment //
those who don’t post pieces get publicly ostracized by other participants. we were thinking by way of disses via facebook. no explanations. sentences such as, “vivian is a completely remarkable human being and not even jesus would be friends with her.” etc., would suffice. but since everyone might not know each other, i’m not sure if it’s a good idea anymore… other punishment suggestions? no punishments?

no pressure + doesn’t matter how good/bad you are. this is just supposed to be fun!

starting… maybe… sunday, august 22nd, 2010 {?} invite a friend.

vivian