fuck me and my desire to try melatonin.

different brand, different dosage, same shit.

so, my roommate alex has sleeping problems consistently. he is often insomniatic. as a result, he takes melatonin occasionally to help him sleep. for those who don’t know, melatonin is a natural hormone that helps regulate sleep. 1mg will help most individuals with sleeping problems fall asleep.

what interested me about melatonin was that it is known to increase the vividness of dreams. many psychoactive drugs like LSD increase melatonin synthesis. so i mean, of course i wanted to try it out.

but the thing is… i don’t have a sleeping problem, dammit. not anymore.

last night i took 1mg of melatonin and it fucking kicked my ass. i took it at 10:30pm and started feeling a bit groggy but stayed up doing some redefine work. it definitely helped my concentration as far as doing work went. went to bed at 11:45pm and it was all good.

but i didn’t fall asleep til 2:30am. every time i was right about to fall asleep, i would wake myself up, and i’m not sure why. that experience has happened before to me — the falling asleep and waking oneself up in a panic… but i don’t know why it was happening this time. the sleep you get from taking melatonin is a weird one — your body feels extremely heavy and hard to control almost. i guess i didn’t like that feeling. it’s like the feeling you get when you take nyquil to sleep. extremely, extremely heavy. there’s no other way to describe it. and i simply just couldn’t get comfortable. every position was like BLARGHHHH.

anyway. went to sleep at like 2:30am and woke up at 6:30am as chris was getting up to go to work and stomping around with his boots. and then again at 8:00am when alex got up or something. i don’t know, though, the whole evening was a nightmare.

and what’s more… i did it largely for the dreams. AND MY DREAMS FUCKING SUCKED. they were no more vivid than usual (i have pretty vivid dreams as it is)… and what’s even worse is they contained practically no storyline whatsoever. so even if i were able to recall it more vividly than usual, i wouldn’t want to. the last dream i had was about going into the sprint store and saying that i didn’t want my current new phone because i wanted to get a nokia, and would i be able to use a nokia phone on my sprint plan? AKA: FECKING BORING.

AGHHH. what a waste of my brain and my sleep. so now i’m at work, tired as fuck ass. i think i will take a nap at my desk. pwr nap for the win.

consuming consumptual consumption.

at work today… i mean, since i work for a fashion website… we were talking about this blog, things i’ve bought that i love, which is — i guess — run by the indian chick on “the office.” it’s amusingly written and well-written, and definitely highlights some interesting products. i read through a bunch of posts, no fucking problem.

but then, after stepping back and studying the whole premise of the blog, which is consumption, i cannot help to be a little bit disgusted.

as a chick, i guess it’s a constant battle to try and fight off that ridiculous desire to buy things (some dudes also have this problem, but it is more prevalent in women, i’d say). but… i don’t know? i feel like it’s a desire that SHOULD be fought off.

we had a 20 person beta test a month ago or something, and we put up a survey for those 20 people to tell us what they thought about the site. well, only 7 (or maybe 8) took the time to respond. and when asked how much money they spent last year on clothing, there were acceptable answers like, “IDK!!” and “$350″… there were also two that said, “$5,000 – $7,000″ and “$7,000″.

i mean, holy shit!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S SO MUCH MONEY. all in the name of looking good? and for what? and for whom?

i mean, i can’t go as far as saying i don’t care how i look. and perhaps i have it lucky because things i like to buy, clothing-wise, are cheaper… and other things i like to buy are at least useful (ie: films, art supplies, etc.) luckily, i don’t need to buy music anymore (or rarely, i should say) because i get so much of it for free.

nonetheless i feel bad even when i see how many books and art supplies i DO have. it’s hard to buy that stuff and not feel guilty about it. but running a blog dedicated to consumption and consumerism? i don’t know. it just feels so………… ethnocentric. i mean people are dealing around the world with starvation and eating mud cakes and shit and here in america we are buying up storms of shit we don’t need. sigh.

in similar news, people in the indie magazine world are scrambling. evidently magazines stocked at border’s get like a 60% sell-through rate whereas those at barnes n noble are more like 40%. yet, crisis looms on the book consumption front. click here to see more!!!

there’s a good chance border’s will be purchased by barnes n noble and as a result, even more conglomeration. in the day to day, people don’t see how big of a problem all this is. but it’s a huge fucking problem. not cool.

oh and this past weekend rachel, castro, and i were supposed to go to the georgetown art attack. rachel got dropped off at work by castro because the dalai lama was in town and there was nowhere for her to park. he was going to pick her up and was speeding on the way to pick her up. got pulled over. went to jail for not having a license. got fined for having weed on him (for us). owned. :X

first thursday, 04/03/08

so i’m posting this 7 days late. so what. blah. i’m so not in the mood to be doing this but i will do it anyway. i’m tired as fauk. lately i’ve been sleeping really badly. i’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, sweating my arse off, and then going back to sleep just to wake up again, freezing my ass off. :[ :[ :[

tim hooper’s robots.

gregory l. blackstock. didn’t think his art was so amazing initially. in fact, it was hard to understand. i was just like, WTF. so was nick. but then he saw an article describing the work, and the guy is autistic and feels the need to document everything he sees, basically. vurrr cooool. i mean, it must be kind of annoying to be so obsessed, but cool nonetheless. from an outsider perspective anyway. good thing he knows how to drawring.

howard something or other. help.

ab the flagman. is this amazing or WHAT?? amazing.

kevin titzer. makes his stuff out of driftwood found in the ohio river.

pall cordes wilm. i may have the wrong name here. need to double-check.

jose luis rodriguez guerra. his work is AMAZING. amazing. um… amazing. lots of mayan and mexican-inspired works, most of which were a study of the human body. i mean seriously amazing. he painted on these slabs, kind of, that were rounded on every corner and were a combination of wood and masonite. really really sleek. certainly not everyone’s cup o’ joe but i love it.

CANVAS GALLERY
i had some amazing photos of works by greg boudreau, math-you, and margot lovinger… or so i thought. because i /failed. because none of them showed up in my final photos for some reason T__T canvas gallery occupies what was formerly the latter half of snowboard connection. let me just say that this is a great gallery featuring lots of work by talented artists. they have a little room for installation work but haven’t seemed to utilize much of it.

robin harlow. lifesize chess board using painted baby doll faces. mmm. she had some other pieces up which looked mediocre but felt very er… incomplete. mostly collage work with very rough edges.

619 BUILDING
i’d like to note that i haven’t been by the 619 building in MONTHS but shit, man, the art is SOOOOOOOOOOO much gooder than before. like, so much.

i don’t know the name of the artist, but this second piece is way true.

mark m. magill. there was a collection of “books” by artists, and this guy’s work was consistently the best. it was like, every time you saw a book of quality, it HAD to have been by this guy. and it always was. all the other ones were kind of crap. this guy, though — he is money.

an amazing idea here, which allows passerbys to flex their drawing skills. hahahahahaa. in the second pic, check out the last panel on the upper right piece of paper, if you can see it. amazing. sorry, i really like the word amazing.

ryan molenkamp. shit, this was only $100? i shoulda bought that shit. not that i have the money. but what the fuck!

anonymous artist, sorry. and this shit was like, $3,000, i think!

a two-artist collaboration between… *insert some names i’m going to get from sohaila*… but shit man. these “hentai” pieces were seriously my favorite thing there. crude? perhaps. there was some kind of exotic underground party going on or something, so the third or fourth floor was completely dedicated to sexually explicit shots. lots of latex-clad individuals. good stuff????? YEAH??? lots of tits and ass???? YEAH.

can’t be complete without a cock lamp. there was a 6″ tall one too. HAHAHAHA. T__T and business cards, with this lamp on it.

so that was thursday. more art this coming weekend and also……… the friday the 04/04/08. AAAAH.

rapex!!!!!!!

funny shit. thanks to nate for this information about RAPEX, THE ANTI-RAPE CONDOM!!!!!!!! if you’re confused about it, like i am, how it works is girls wear it… in advance… all paranoid-like… and then when they get raped, the thing comes off, attached to the dude’s penis, where latex barbs attach themselves. UHHH yeah. interesting………. available in three sizes, kids!! SMALL, MEDIUM, AND LARGE!!!!!!!!!!!

BY THE WAY… NOT AN APRIL FOOL’S JOKE, EITHER. IT’S STILL MARCH 31ST.

[sorry in advance for there being boobies and dicks in these entries this week :0 :0 :0]
some of my favorite excerpts from their FAQ:

When should I wear it?
Should you have to travel long distances alone, on a train, working late, going out on a date with someone you don’t know too well, going to clubs, or in any situation that you might not feel comfortable or even just not sure.

Won’t the rapist kill me?
Sadly, many women have been killed over time, as nobody can guarantee the outcome of any rape! However, the huge plus-factor is that the discomfort and pain is such, that the rapist would be disabled temporarily, (much worse than a kick in the groin that self-defence instructors teach women!) giving you time to get away and get help.

Will it cause permanent damage to the rapist?
No, not if he gets professional help without delay

From what age can this device be worn?
Menstruating age, thus 11-12 years of age.

How did you get the idea? (Question to Sonet Ehlers – inventor)
From the rape-victim who first said “If only I had teeth down there”, to some time later a young man was admitted to hospital for getting his penis caught in his trouser zip and was in excruciating pain.

What if I am asleep and someone enters my house and tries to rape me?
Golden rule… keep the device right next to you. Remember it is very easy to insert, and very quick too.

((INSERT PICTURE OF GIANT RUBBER PENIS WITH RAPEX CONDOM ON IT))
image, also courtesy of nate, who then commented:

nate: i think this only works on porn stars
vee: hahahaha what
vee: why do u say that
nate: that weiner looks kinda big
nate: not compared to me
nate: but in general
vee: haahaha.
nate: it actually looks small
nate: hahahh

turn or burn! ikea sucks & shit.

this morning, nick and i went to the city church in the u-district. we were yet again in search of a charismatic church where people spoke in tongues. we were again /fail. oh well. i thought it was interesting nonetheless. city church is comprised of 5 chain churches throughout the seattle area. the main one is in kirkland. all of the other ones stream live from the kirkland church. the sound was really good, though, so when we first entered i thought that the worship team was in the house, playing live. they were not, even though it sounded like it. an usher brought us to our seats, and upon realization that it was not a live band, i was a little weirded out. but you know, whatever. the worship leader chick sang like a pop star or something, ad libbing like mad. many people did the “raised, outstretched hands” thing.

after worship, some lady — pretty, blonde, nicely-dressed — came on the screen and did some church announcement type things… a lot of which were pimping out these products available in their store. products included a book called “dating delilah,” with nice graphical design pages inside… a dvd / audio cd / mp3 disc of their previous conference’s message… etc. etc. etc. but there was a lot of, “BUY THIS!” and “BUY THAT!” but, to their benefit, it did seem very um, personal, despite the fact that the churches collectively probably had thousands of people. very very interesting. to be honest the whole idea of a church being conducted via tv screen is kind of “odd” but it’s actually kind of cool in some ways, too. you’re uniting people in a easy, local way to a bigger conduit. i don’t know…

then there was a “greet your neighbors” section. there was a guy in front of nick who was really, really good-looking… like really, really. and he was way into the whole service. that’s one thing about the people there — they seemed very sincere in their worship. many came by themselves and seemed unconcerned with their neighbors and worshipped solely for god. i mean, i think that’s great. being “real” is more important than partaking in a church ritual i don’t subscribe to. if that makes sense. anyway. back to the good-looking guy… i found it kind of… disturbing. it’s judgmental to say (as chris pointed out later today) perhaps but the guy looked like any normal rocker dude you would meet at a party or something… and i guess… why does that bother me? it bothers me because it’s common to go to a party and want to meet someone romantically interesting?? and i guess i am shallow but i am much more interested in people who are good-looking… that doesn’t mean i’ll like them after i get to know them, but it does make me want to start talking to them initially. way he was acting — and how he knew exactly where the book of judges (one of the least used books in the bible, i’d argue) was — probably was an indication that he was a hardcore christian. and being extremely involved in a religion is a significant life choice. so it is bothersome that um, i might come across someone like this not ever knowing, thinking he was awesome, and then having that be a significant issue/difference. and i wouldn’t really have a problem being with someone who was a hardcore christian (depending on what their other thoughts on things were) but it seems like hardcore christians often have a problem with other people who are not the same way. so really, it’s really a very selfish thing to be bothered by a hot guy at church who “doesn’t look like he would go to church”. oh so selfish. and so shallow. but it’s a thought i could not help. :[

after the meet and greet, a brief message began by the pastor of the day. he gave a brief testimony about this new couple to his church. the male of the couple accepted christ the first day he ever went to church. the next week, supposedly, he brought more people, and his girlfriend and kids accepted christ too. the next week after that, he brought even more people. blahblahblah.

then we were shown a dvd clip of the guy and his girlfriend, who had had HPV (they didn’t say that, but they kept saying “VIRUS” “CERVIX” etc… i can only conclude that it was HPV) and a malignant tumor?? or something?? because of it. she was pregnant, and the doctor said if it grew any more, the baby would need to be terminated. then they received “healing hands” in church, and the next time they went to the doctor, the tumor or cyst or whatever was “COMPLETELY GONE!” it was all a little strange. it was even staged like an infomercial testimony or something too.

after that, speaker man, who had come from las vegas, came back to the stage. he proceeded to tell a message. man, i don’t even know where to start. AHHHH. god. uhhh. where to start.

the whole message talked about the “power of words” and that they were more powerful than the physical. he mentioned this girl in high school who used to make fun of his eyes… they bulged out of his head because he had a lot of health problems at that time. he mentioned that he looked like bart simpson, but made sure to note that people in the audience who were saved probably didn’t even know what “the simpsons” were, and that it was just a show that he had seen a couple episodes of before he became christian. like, what the fuck???????????????????????

anyway, he was a funny preacher and all but he like… i don’t know. made the whole crowd repeat after him the girl’s name (which i forget now). he would say her first name, they’d repeat it, he’d say her last name, they’d repeat it, and he’d say, “was a bad person,” and they’d repeat it. it was all very strange, like he still………………… was very bothered by it. and he probably was. but… i mean………….. wtf.

let’s start with this part in… judges?? where ephraimites (sp?) were being persecuted or something, and the only way out was to cross this river to the other side. they were tested by guards/soldiers, and the soldiers would tell them to say “shibolleth” — because the ephraimites had a different language and way of speaking, they could not pronounce the “shib” and would say “sibolleth”… and once they did that, they were killed because their accent gave themselves away. 40,000 of them supposedly died this way. now, the preacher did mention that it was because they had a different accent, but then he took it deeper, and said that he had an expensive bible program and decided to look up the meanings of those words.

“shibolleth” meant “flowing stream” or some shit, where as “sibolleth” meant “burden”.

he ridiculously stretched it out to say that… we need to use our words in a way so that we are not speaking “sibolleth” but “shibolleth” — we do not want to “burden” ourselves with negative speech and negative thoughts… we want to praise the word of god like a “flowing stream.” like… how ridiculous. i mean, really. wtf.

i don’t even know. wtf.

two churches in a row, now, i also see the heavy influence placed on owning big houses and owning things that = money. it’s so weird. he mentioned some pastor who was given a $4 million dollar house by a random lady………… i mean……… why does a pastor need that? pastors should do something with that $4 million dollar house that helps the community or whatever. why should a pastor keep that shit? why are we for these things?

it’s just very strange to me that christians like him can be like, “we shouldn’t watch simpsons…” and “we should be the counter-culture”… when they’re like… embracing all these capitalist, non-jesus-type things. i mean, jesus didn’t live life extravagantly. he wouldn’t be paying money for neon wall hangings and fancy ass clothes. why do they?

anyway, there was a mention of the term “turn or burn”, in a joking way. but i wrote down to look up the term and find some related merch. nick found a couple related t-shirt designs… roflcakes.

***

after that, nick and i went to eat at this greek restaurant that i don’t know the name of. we had interesting conversation there about the church and our thoughts on it… politics… blahblah. nick is done with the church-hopping, though. evidently it disappoints him that people are that er, blindly following of religion. as for me, i still find it interesting. i’d go. if anything the speakers are still amusing. i’m so detached from the idea of religion that… i don’t know, i guess i can look at it very objectively and i don’t feel anyone should believe or not believe in it… i’m just completely apathetic to the thought. nothing that could possibly be said would make me care more or less about the existence or non-existence of god. it just doesn’t even matter in daily life.

the “it is not something that concerns me in my daily life” argument is one i have heard for politics, too… and i think that’s ridiculous, as politics are wholly entrenched in everything we know. but that’s another tangent.

***

after that, i went with alex and chris (future roomies) to ikea. oh yes. i needed to buy a bed base but then was not happy with the price / look / how inconvenient / blahblah. we kept talking about using 2×4′s in different furniture pieces. lol. well, as i didn’t buy a bed base, i may be able to put some 2×4′s in my bed frame and just use it from there. man, i don’t know. i’ll maybe look on craigslist or something. this is a nightmare.

blarghhhhhhhhhh no feely like talking about ikea. after that we went to the great wall to eat some japanese food. blahrhggahoaighaoisdoiahsfoaidsjaoidj aoij aoifhaoifhaiofhafoisafhoiafshoaifhaosfi ahofihasfoiahfoishfaoif haoifh.

***

soaking piercing in salt water. causes much droolings. 1/4 teaspoon sea salt dissolved in 1 cup water. my chin is in the water. i am rather amazed that there has been no pussing or anything, and i can move it around however the hell i want already and it doesn’t really hurt. is weird. mmmmmmmmm…………….. eating of cup.

***

it’s snowing in seattle. in march. this was yesterday. w00t. snowed enough to stick a bit this morning.

nipple shields and piercings, piercings.

i knew about the whole justin timberlake and janet jackson superbowl boobie mishap, and i had seen photos of it or whatever, but i’d never really thought about what it was on her boobie. i thought it was something like what lil kim had on her outfit here:

in reality, what was on her boobie was nothing like what lil kim had!!! it is a fucking nipple shield. i had never heard of these until today :0 :0 i stumbled upon it today while randomly surfing the web, and all i have to say is, wtf! i guess it’s kind of cool though, i guess.

anyway, rachel wanted to get her nose pierced the other day, and she mentioned it to me. then i thought, hell, i’ve always wanted to get my lip pierced, so why not get it now? so i did.

alex came with us, and er, i’ve had this dragonfruit drink in my car for like……………………… 80 years. and by 80 years i mean at least 2 months. it tasted like shit. made in thailand, imported to mexico, sold in the united states. HAHAHAHAHA. so i’ve had dragonfruit before and i don’t much like it, but it’s tolerable. this one, as alex described, tasted like ONIONS. and it was like eating FOOD, not drinking a fruit juice. hahaha. i don’t know if it is because i left it in my car for so long or if it actually tasted like shit, though. MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES, INDEED.

i picked up rachel at her apt and she was wearing this sick 80s-inspired getup. according to alex, people on the streets loved her outfit also and did double takes or something. you can’t see her high-top (are they high-top???) nikes in this pic, though. before i got there, she also text-messaged me asking if i wanted “a cup-o-soup” and i was thinking, WTF?? she literally brought a cup of chicken noodle soup and a plastic cup of water into my car. pretty damn good idea but still it was WTF-ish. haha.

the guy at laughing buddha in capitol hill was named luis. he was fucking hilarious. it only came out to $41… WAY cheaper than i thought it was going to be. i expected at least $50. *__* of course, as with all new piercings, it is ugly and silver (BLECH) and huge. i can’t wait to change it out for something smaller. blech. so big. alex and i went to eat a costa’s in u-district (mmmm) after getting the piercing and it was damn good, but eating the lemon rice soup was oh-so-very difficult :0 :0 :0

here’s a photo. closed eyes because the flash is death. *__* and no flash = blurry.

i just watched “queen of the damned” on netflix… you know, the aaliyah vampire movie… last thing she did before she died, practically. it is pretty shitty. but i miss aaliyah. :[

the grass is moldy on this side. and swinger parties.

i kind of want to just lose control for once. even when i do drugs, i am perfectly in control… i know what i’m doing nearly always. it’s really actually a good thing, but i don’t know, for once i’d like to just be irresponsible almost, and to give into whatever primitive thoughts i may have. i think i’ve done it once. and regretted it. so i suppose, why would i want to give into impulses again? maybe because i’ve not done it a few times and also regretted it. arr, i don’t know. maybe all it is is simply a case of the grass being greener on the other side.

but it’s tiring sometimes — always being on top of things and yet not necessarily having them work out, i guess. i just want to not think for a little bit and deal with the consequences of my actions later. live life, you know, care-free. with, as bad as it sounds, no concern for others or for myself. or as close to that as possible. i just find that in a few instances when i am not impulsive and hold back, i am left wondering later about what would have happened if i had been impulsive. but, again, it all goes back to thinking too much about my actions.

recently, i was talking to one of my friends from high school who had started attending swinger parties. honestly, the whole thought of it is pretty fucking disgusting. essentially what you do is show up at this hotel or whatever, and in the beginning, it’s pretty much a normal party. there are food and people. you talk. but then that’s where it changes… if you make a connection with someone (think speed-dating x 400), you go into a room and fuck. you can reject people by saying no, but they might come creeping back later (see next paragraph).

the rooms have open doors, and so you can see other people fucking. then, while you may be fucking someone, other people can come in and try and get a turn with you. um, fucking sick. sick. sick. but yeah, people can line up next to you and it’s possible that while you’re um, in the heat of the moment, you don’t care what you fuck or who you fuck and end up giving leeway to your initial impulses to not do anything with a disgusting person. gross. so yeah, that’s the nature of these parties really… they’re moderately “safe” — as safe as it is fucking a random person on the street — since they use condoms.

it’s all really disgusting. there’s really no way around that.

but on the flip side… i do wonder… what kind of mentality must she have to have such a lack of concern for consequences? she’s a smart girl, and she jokingly says that due to her actions, she will likely contract something and die early. and none of that seems to matter, really. all of this is done in a quest for attention and for instant gratification.

this is an extreme example, of course, but what does it feel like to be able to lose control like that? it makes me curious. those parties are not something i would ever do (although i would honestly consider going to see what it’s like haha… while eating crackers cookie-monster style — none of the food going into the mouth — over people having sex and dropping crumbs on their faces), but even on a very base, very dumbed down level… what is it like? tell me?!

nintendo fever!

i’m listening to… harold faltemayer, in flames.

3:37 am — i play “ninja gaiden 1″ for like 4 hours today trying to beat it. i have to say, i think it’s easier than the second one, but jesus christ man. arlen got to the last boss and you have ONE life (with full health) to defeat him or you have to start all over from the beginning of an extremely difficult stage. RIDICULOUS. i hit the boss a bunch of time and took off ONE BAR of life. WTF.

planned parenthood is a cool place. they’re doing good things — unless, of course, you’re a religious right-wing and you don’t approve of any kind of birth control or methodology except for abstinence (hey kids, abstinence education doesn’t work!)

i cooked food for lenny today aaa haa ahaa. i pity da foo who marries me (if that so happens). i mean, there’s worse, but there’s more better.

so much to do but i just want to play videogames. having a nintendo is the bane of my existence.

my eyes are pretty much all better. i wonder what it was. vitamin deficiency? seriously? that seems awful strange…

liz is coming to stay over this thursday. wewt, wewt…!! halloween parties this weekend for teh win! and freak night!

god, i freakin suck!

i’m listening to… a wilhelm scream and hong kong six. whatevers.

9:08 am — woke up in the morning and then drove to brett [buchholtz] [pwn]‘s place in ellensburg. got lost there as usual but somehow managed to find his house. FUCK MAPQUEST. they always give me fucked up directions to his house. -__-

crammed myself into matt [buchholtz] [stretch]‘s car, and we had to pile sleeping bags and stuff on top of ourselves hah. then we met up with the rest of the hoes @ rite-aid, and i got into brett [murphy] [weezy] & lindsey’s car. la la la. drove to the gorge and there was like no one there yet. this was around 11:30 to 12. i thought it had started @ 12, but we actually had perfect timing. as usual, the parking people told us to park somewhere, so we’d say OK and then wait a minute (or in this case 20 seconds) and then drive to another campsite, and proceed to take up about four-cars-worth of space to set up our tent in and shit.

then we went to the show just in time for the first acts, pretty much.

senses fail was the opening act on the main stage. the lead singer was like, “so everyone went out and got all punked out for warped tour, right? i know i did!!” and we were all like, “my god, what an idiot…”

there was honestly no one really worth mentioning except for armor for sleep. they were GREAT. i happened to see josh and cynthia (who flaked on going with me in the morning) @ armor, and that was cool. ARMOR IS SO GOOD. they’re so much better live than i had thought.

who else… this providence was kind of disappointing. the singer is SO very fruity. he’s a good-looking guy, but he’s like 17 (even though he’s like 20, 21). he’s… so fruity. my god. too fruity for me = fruity as fuck. i’ll bet most of their fans are girls. they’re a good-looking bunch of guys.

me and trask interviewed riley and teppei of thrice… it was kind of a last minute thing because their interview was going on when i found the press tent (wewps, they had different directions this year). they are alright guys, but you can tell they kind of think their music is the shit.

reggie & the full effect was pretty freakin great. james is a funny old man. they were wearing matching american eagle shirts. yeahhh.

my chemical romance’s lead singer gerard looks like a girl… however awesome he is. it’s not talking shit; it’s talking truths. when i went back to the press tent, i saw frank from mcr (who i interviewed last year), and he kept staring at me and smiling while he was talking to this other dude… so i should have waved or something! but i didn’t cause i’m stupid and shy. :[ and i didn't want to 'interupt' his conversation, although he obviously wasn't that engaged. nOoOoooOo!! i'm so mad at myself lol. -__- that bugged me for the rest of the day (i was going to talk to him when i went back, but he wasn't around anymore T__T)... and now it's bothering me again since i brought it up, grr.

interviewed two other guys from MCR with a lady from AMP magazine at around 7, and it was a weird group interview, and there were like 4 people in the room who were just there to watch and had nothing to do with the interview at all. i'm sure they were disappointed because the two people who came weren't gerard and frank lol. mcr is too big now, it's good and all but damnit, i wanted gerard and frank! redefine will get some credit in AMP for this, though, so that is fucking AWESOME.

night time was umm crazay! a lot of stuff happened, a lot of probably which i have forgotten, but i will try to remember. we had to wait around in the freezing cold for a long time because stretch (who had car keys) stayed around til the end (around 1030) and we left around 8-ish. to my stupidity, though, my stuff was actually in weezy's car lol. so i froze for two hours for nothing!! anyway. shit. uhh. got drunk. lots of people asked for weed. weezy kept saying, "my wrist is broken. it's limp. my hand is broken, it's limp. my finger is broken, it's limp. my arm is broken, it's limp." i forget why, though. crowd management services (CMS) kept walking around too, and they were being all stealthy and shit. some people were setting off fireworks, and they totally were like hiding behind cars and running out of nowhere to catch the people haha. their fault for setting off like eight fireworks in broad daylight. they also took all of the alcohol of some underage kids, and later caught us smoking weed with a random group of people (but luckily they didn't care because no one had any on them, and they were just like, "we don't care what you do in your tents, but try not to do anything out here.") anyway, so the whole night everyone in our group kept shouting out, "CMS!!" or at some points, "INS!!!"

went to walk around a bunch of times. with different people. first time was with zach, pwn, weezy, and trask. we climbed up on this trailer and weezy jumped off and owned his heel LMAO.

so we were walkng back, and somehow we lost zach but he found his way back later. weezy was like, "my heel is broken." lol. and then he just left after that. then me, zach, pwny, and matt [zach's friend, i don't know his last name] went out… and that was fun!!! met some dudes who smoked us out and one of us made us listen to his music… we totally could have stayed around for longer but zach wanted to go back because the weed + alcohol was not doing him good lol. pwny smoked out for the first time. it was my first time in like, god, at least a year and a half or something. but it was good, cause weed is always good with other things – usually OK by itself. met some kids who kept saying they needed some coke because they were too trashed and couldn’t stay up otherwise. the one who was relatively sober was like a giant drag queen or something, but whatever. more power.

went back and then went out again with lindsey and pwny. i had this random idea to go up to random people and be like, “WOW ____, I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG!!!” and it’s funny, cause people are like, “oh yeah! i know!!! how are you doing!?” hahaha it’s fuckin funny. me and lindsey went, so pwny went up to this girl and was like, “HI AMY!!” and she didn’t even turn around lol >__< me and lindsey were like dying of laughter on the floor. went back to the potheads, and they had lost their keys and gotten their alcohol stolen. i guess a lot of people had their alcohol stolen. which sucks.

umm don’t remember what else happened. went back again and went back out with pwny… and uhh. met more random bitches. these people were trying to get everyone to sit down in the middle of the road, but that pretty much failed. some girl in the group was on shrooms. lol. and then some guy came to harass her, and she ran away. lucky spokane people! so easy to get shrooms!!!! >__<

when we were going to sleep some guy was threatening to kill himself because his girlfriend cheated on him or his girlfriend thought he cheated on her or something. and his friend was saying, “dont do it,” blahblahblah. cept later his girlfriend came by and was like, “i don’t care, kill yourself, you’re better off that way.” it was weird. the guy was bawling.

weezy passed out on the ground the whole night and i guess pwny had an escapade in a basketball court til 6am or something (when i was the only one awake, arrrrrghhhh). i woke up mad early and sat around for like half an hour talking to random neighbors and hoping someone would wake up. talked with the guy who was telling his friend not to commit suicide and that was um interesting. and some guy who said he drank a whole bottle of jack daniel’s. lol. man i dunno. then i went back to sleep cause there was no sign of anyone waking up.

we left and weezy’s sister whitney has FUCKED UP friends. she got dropped off at warped and then her friends took her car back to the show, and drove it to a campsite adn shit, leaving her behind. fucked up shit. friends like that, jeez. so we spent like a half hour trying to find her car and shit, so i was put into zach’s car while they looked for it some more (it wasn’t at the campgrounds we looked in initially, and her phone was dead, so she couldn’t call people), and so that weezy could yell @ her.

ate lunch at a restaurant like we did last year, and the combination between warped tour people and sunday parishoners was funry.

god, i’m sick of writing in journals. i’m sure i’ll think of plenty more.

rawr.

i’m listening to… the forecast, acapella shit, hotel costes.
i’m feeling… k, but i must to sleep soon, cause my eyeballs are fefeling funkeh.

11:56 pm — a quick recap about the weekend, although quick may not suffice to capture it all. the sad part is, i’m having a hard time remembering what exactly i did this weekend… :X oh wait, that’s only cause i was confused and thought that today was monday when in fact it is sunday HA HA HA.

friday — ummm nutso day. fuck my memory is shitty. X: maybe i need to stop saying, “i don’t know.” it probably contributes to my dumb mind nature unga bunga. i also need to stop using this fucking laptop so much, cause the refresh rate is shitty, and i always feel like i’m going blind after i use it for a long time (and being that i used it for the past 3 hours, i feel like i’m going blind, hardcore)…!!

so that day alex was at home and casie went over to his place, and he’s like, “you should meet her.” so i suggested we do something, and since lenny and cynthia were online, i asked them what we should do, and they said, “PARK.” so we just all went to the park for a spontaneous ass quest. at first i had wanted to quest this day, but then decided against it since mike couldn’t go questing til 5 because of ME bbq, and i had to go to jason [green]‘s art show @ 7… so said fuck it, but then this opportunity came up, so we just upped and went.

so greenlake park was interesting… somewhat. found lots of little rabbits, weird fish coming out of the lake, ducks… not as interesting as it should have been, i guess. but lenny is ummm crazy.

afterwards we went to the art show… saw jason and koji and hojo there… jason = in the next issue of redefine = has amazing works. god, his art was stuck in my head all night. i couldn’t go to sleep because i had images of it in my head. -__- anyways, on the way to his art gallery, which was @ fremont coffee, this coffee shop… in fremont, we came across benny, balancer of rocks. here is an image, courtesy of lenny.

PIC TO COME WHEN I’M FEELING LESS LAZY.

at some point, he was trying to balance this really insane rock combination, and he was talking to the rock saying, “dance with me, you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of all of these people, do you? stop it. stop it. dance with me!” etc. it was quite interesting. it’s so cool how he could do that though. he was talking about how it was just the product of gravity + friction. wewtz0r.

it was neat. yes… art show was neat.

so yeah… casie umm didn’t really talk. i tried talking to her a whole shitloads, and it was all just like one word answers. after the show i asked her what her favorite piece was, and she was like, “oh, they were all about the same.” NEGATIVE POINTS. FAIL. FAIL HARDCORE.

i can’t believe i left this part out. i kept reminding myself to include it, but alas, my mind is shit. and then even when i remembered that i needed to add something, i didn’t know what it was. after going to the show, we went to go see the fremont troll, this giant, sculpted troll crushing a vw beetle. it’s situated under a bridge (like the troll under the bridge – such an awesome idea). anyway, we climbed it and shit, and as we were wandering around, we found this giant fenced up construction storage area near these houses / apartments. inside the fence was just those huge orange signs… with every design imagineable, i swear… so me and cyn wanted to steal a sign, so we pushed it up with our fingers, and lenny helped us lift it out… we were like standing in these trees and bushes and shit. anyway, we lifted it out, and then realized (as alex had been saying the whole time) that it would not fit in the trunk of my car. so i left. and cried.

and then afterwards i dropped the kids off at the pool aka the bank so that they could go eat and i could meet up with hojo to go to the sloan show. it was $12. it was a decent show with a really good encore, but was it worth $12? no. but it was a different experience for sure, especially since the emo / psuedo-punk shows i go to are usually 15 year olds… this was like a 30-something year old crowd. and that was damned strange. first time @ the croc too – they have AMAZING decorations. word.

so afterwards i went home and got ready to go to bed when mike called me and asked if i could pick him up from dante’s… and when i was on the phone with him, cynthia called, and was like WHATS UP WHAT’RE YOU DOING. so i was going to go and pick up mike, but then he’s like,” nevermind, i’m already halfway there… just sit on the phone with me,” but i was out of batteries… and then he started passing out somewhere, and i said, “okay, i’m going to pick up alex and lenny now, and i’ll come pick you up on the way there,” and i saw him while driving to cyn’s, but he didn’t want a ride. turns out he passed out later @ a lightpole or something? iono.

so at cynthia’s people kept disappearing and shit. and jason [shibata] was all hungry and shit so i took the fuckers (cynthia, lenny, alex, jason, eric [prince], and karen) to the pizza place and they ate and stuff, and it was like death, and alex was tired of being there, and i was tired of being there with a bunch of drunkasses who supposedly had played with a bouncy ball in the middle of traffic… LOL. so yesh… went home and then finally got to sleeping… -__-

saturday — woke up early to attend an o2 board meeting… wewt. it was alright. lots of free food. for lunch we went to aqua verde where i will copy and paste this story from my xanga: “we had to split up into two groups (one 6, one 5). i was in the group of five, with two other co-workers and two high-school kids. i was talking about how i was a vegetarian now, and this one kid was like, “that’s unhealthy. my sister was a vegetarian for a year.” i asked him if she got unhealthy, and he was like, “yeah, she got really pale.” and then the other kid was like, “was that the same year she committed suicide?” and i was like… “what? are you kidding? you’re kidding, right?” cause it’s such inappropriate random lunch conversation with strangers, and the kid was like, “you should stop while you’re ahead,” to me… and so i just stopped talking… then the other kid was like, “didn’t she commit suicide on your birthday too? your 16th birthday?” and the kid was like, “yeah, some sweet 16,” and the other kid was like, “that’s jacked up… way to make it so that you will never enjoy your birthday.” WTF. and the three of us were just like eating, trying not to make eye contact and stuff lol… cause they went on with it like it was so real, but wtf, who says that kinda stuff?”

boss gave me a couple of vegetarian cookbooks, but i dunno if i am cut out for this vegetarian lifestyle. not that i am craving meat so much, but the food just is NOT as good. it’s all sweet and shit. i <3 salt… i live on salt. i used to eat salt by itself when i was little… all this vegetables and fruit = blech. not that i don’t like sugar, but i like fattening death sugar. X:

for the rest of the day basically i just lazed around with mr. lenny (because together we are not productive at ALL) and we watched “american psycho” and nature documentaries and shit. and then me, alex, and lenny decided to go to trader joe’s but it closed RIGHT when we got there, and that sucked. so we went to jack in the crack for milkshake and kiku for jap food, and then everyone was happy and went on their way. then me and alex went back and ate… hojo called because he was @ gareth and alex’s place watching “wild boys” and wanted to know if we wanted to watch it… only we thought he was at HIS place, and we walked over there and failed. miserably.

but it was my first time watching wild boys, and it r0x… even though steve-0 constantly talks like he’s reading off of a script. but i enjoi. :]

today — basically did nothing all day. went to uz cafe to work on the project that is due tomorrow. worked on it seriously all day. started @ like 3pm, ended just about now @ 12 am, and i pretty much have been working the whole time. wow, this is what it feels like to work full time, and it is fucking boring, even though i got to watch tv and stare at the hot coffee shop guy while i was working. -__-

this is poor documentation. whatever.

WARPED TOUR THIS YEAR IS GONNA BE EFFIN SWEET.

canada on the 27th to the 29th. anyone is welcome. :]