Currently on the toilet at Holiday Inn. Yes indeedy, time to write. Time to write is here right now, rewind. Day at Point Reyes National Seashore — which was nice, but certainly not much in the actually hiking department or anything. Plenty of eating, though, particularly for dinner… where there was seafood galore with a waterfront view (I had my back to it and didn’t see it much)… my meal was also mediocre and there was SOOOOO MUCH BREAD. And I am quite feeling bizarrely here and there by my ack and black, and our family sure doesn’t talk about much if it isn’t related to money, or simple pleasures, or gossip… and I guess it seems like it would be nice to talk more about ourselves in a way that is just more than nothing much really… and I do share some simple victories here and there but they often come back to money… and yesterday when Chris and I parted there was some talk of pushing forward to both of us “making it”… and I thought that surely they are making it better but I am not so sure about me… though I am doing just fine… what is “making it” really… and blahblahblah… and arrrrghhhhhh! Life intersections… what is the point… I have not yet decided… but a lot of it now is trying to decide why I like what I like and what to give and to take, what to perpetuate and let go of. All in all a fairly pleasant family day, but the sexual trauma is annoyingly real. Making it end is a must. Writing more is a must. Though on what level is unsure. Wondering what will become of signs. Wondering what will solidify in the next year. All sorts of confused.
time to get some writing in before the day is done, although the day is technically already done. where the shit is my freaking line a day book yarrgh! though to be honest i haven’t had a proper second to even look for it, as these days are hyper warp speed.
troy and seth shroomethed this evening (and stopped by for a bit wherein i felt bizarre for having to entertain them even though they probably didn’t care so much), so i had a much-needed evening to myself to do some video stuff. started by going through my wedding video footage and discarding a whole helluva bunch of it. think my shots are pretty good but my techniques could use some major work… namely… in being less fidgety when moving around and keeping a scene on a scene for a duration or waiting for a good time to switch as opposed to halfway through something… plus just generally figuring out how to use a gatdang tripod better because i suck at that shit. what i am pretty good at, i believe, is focusing manually so that things look nice, as well as . so those are good starts.
man, it just dawned on me i gotta get to the bank to deposit this month’s mercycorps stuff before the month is over. yarrrghhhh! need my lenses! after testing out the olympus 75mm (and losing the fucking lens cap, BTW) and the 18mm to 35mm — both of which i was thinking of buying — i’ve decided that i completely dislike both of them and dislike automatic camera focusing, in general… and that i’m not going to go that route at all. i am instead going to buy some old nikon lenses with super amazing aperture… so that i can still use them with my old camera as well as my new… and then some mega wide-angle lenses or mega versatile ones. i think the budget is gonna be a bit crazy… but what it kinda comes down to is that… mehhhh! the micro four-thirds cameras make the lens sizes all bizarre and i hate the non-extreme lenses, generally speaking, and there aren’t so many in that suite which really do the deed… so yeah. going to go the route that i think will work better for me, and thus far budgeting seems to like that, too.
i turned in my business plan to mercycorps a while ago and am a bit annoyed that they still haven’t gotten back to me regarding finalizing that. you’re supposed to turn your business plan two months before you get your stuffy stuff, but i’m not sure if that means it needs to be APPROVED two months before or you just need to turn it in. either way, i can hardly wait for all this shit, though i guess with the new realizations about the lenses i feel generally OK using the ones i do have (though i don’t have a particularly wide solution that is good just yet). i have laundry lists of things to buy these days… and last night, after the show at mississippi studios had a wardrobe (aka projector and my computer) malfunction, i wasn’t able to do visuals… which was nice in some senses… but i also came to realize that it takes me a while to connect to the music now without the visuals since i don’t see them in that capacity anymore… and it’s interesting, always, getting to enjoy the music as opposed to having back of the room video duties. so it is nice to dance, but it also gets me in this headspace of… “what’re people thinking?”, “how is this being viewed?”, etc… all of which is remarkably pointless but… that’s just how my fucking mind works. constantly on work mode.
i’ve been sending out press e-mails for them and there have only been a couple of major bites and definitely a whole lotta duds, which is a bummer. there are a lot of smaller blogs that haven’t gotten back which i would have thought would’ve really enjoyed these things… but i guess i do understand — having the struggles that i do in the same universe — that sometimes e-mails get lost amidst the flood, and is it too much to ask for a follow-up? i certainly don’t think so; some bands have written follow-ups to spark my attention, and it has worked… but it all depends, that stuff. and there’s so many e-mails to send, so many blogs… that i find myself constantly re-updating who i am sending things to, just because i keep coming across new blogs, and from certain ones of those blogs, i find more blogs, and it’s an endless rabbit hole of bloggage. which is fine — but man… there’s a lot, and it’s enough to make a girl depressed from time to time… not hugely… but certainly with some sense of, “wait, why am i doing this again?” when i realize that damn near every site has more traffic than i, and i am thinking i am changing some sort of world even though too few people are actually reading my shit for any world to be changed. i don’t know. i think i’m doing a good thing, but obviously not good enough, when any ol’ mp3 blog off the street can get 10x more traffic. and yet that makes sense in a way too, i guess, as it is immediate gratification and those who don’t get a thousand press e-mails like we do can just go through these songs, hammer through these songs, in the same way that we go through press releases; barely listening to music. it’s a bummer, for sure… but i guess that’s how it goes…
jeanette showed me recently one blog where a guy and a girl who have been friends for a long time decide to date one another as a bit of an experiment, and then blog each day about his and her perspective on certain topics. i haven’t paid too much attention to it yet but i do certanly love love love the idea — and it would be a fun thing to try in one’s own life, undoubtedly (if one were in a relationship that could stand it, i suppose). i guess later on someday i’ll take a looksee at that — but there’s no time to sit around and read the news these days (isn’t that a term? read the news?) only time to lose one’s head.
rachel is coming tomorrow evening; tessa is here in the morning and i agreed to meet up with her at crema at ten in the morning. followed by nick’s wedding meeting. followed by a phone meeting with bosses for work… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. it’s neverending. it’s enough to drive a girl mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
three weddings three weekends in a row, too! no shit… just a buncha love and crap. boo!
looking at the wedding footage, though… though there are definitely some things to correct… it generally looks fairly decent, and i definitely think we can make a good product out of it, which is nice. i think we definitely fill in one another’s video blanks pretty well, so that’s a good thing thus far. interest-wise, too, in what we choose to film… it’s good!
also, it’s been a while since this has happened, and i’m waiting for videos to render, and i think i feel good about that, so here it goes…
i haven’t read this yet but i like / am scared of the sounds of it? i dunno. oh yeah, today gina said she and i might have a chance to have a fucking fm radio station!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! er, i mean a show on a fucking fm radio station! like whatttttttttttt i dunno!!!
btw missy elliott is playing kcon next weekend whaaaaaaat! i guess she’s on some upcoming song with g-dragon, who is also performing, which is amazing, and hopefully the two of them perform together so i can poop myself. additionally, i have press tickets. additionally, i found a car rental from a company called fox that rents cars for $21 a day whaaaaaat. people be bitching about their terrible service — that being the reason it’s so cheap — but i don’t care dawg. sheet. told claire i am going to film her wedding for her wedding present. looking forward to her cake considering she went to culinary school… probably going to visit jeremy and juliam and THEIR NEW KID (this would actually be the first time i have seen a friend’s kid… weird…) and chris as well. so many things!!!!!!!!!! BLARHGHHHH!HGHHGHGHENSTOW. mogglish masses to each her own fascination or whatever the shit we said.
What a wonderful month to be a Sagittarius! You love to travel, and in August, the best news will be that travel is written all over your chart. It looks like you won’t be spending very much time in one place, so if your friends want to meet up with you, they had better have their running shoes on!
Let’s start at the top of the month because you have some interesting career developments heating up in the background this month that will come into full bloom in September, aspects that you and I should talk about, and you have some romantic aspects, too. So much to say! Where to begin? Let’s start at the beginning, the start of August, so I can tell you how the month will blossom in roughly chronological order.
The first aspect I’d like you to note is a gentle one – Venus and Mars will be chasing each other around the sky on Friday, August 2, making for a sexy date night. This day also may bring some exceptional news about your career and money. Venus is currently in Virgo in your tenth house of honors, awards, achievement and fame, making you very popular with VIPs. Meanwhile, Mars is still where he was circulating last month, in your house of other people’s money. The two planets, Mars and Venus, will be linked on August 2, and this means money and your career will be linked, too. One will influence the other, so see what comes up. It seems your reputation and fine performance will influence the chunk of cash you will receive
Your finances are about to glow in coming months because Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck, just entered the house of other people’s money for the first time in twelve years. Between now and July 2014, you are likely to do very well with your financial affairs, whether you hope to raise money from a venture capitalist or make money through commissions, royalties, or licensing fees. You also have Mars tearing through the same part of your chart, your eighth house, forcing your expenses upward on credit cards since last month. You may have planned for this month’s outlay of cash, say, to pay for tuition, a big trip, an impending move, or other reason.
If you did not plan to spend for anything special now and can’t figure out why your expenses have suddenly risen this month, then pull back on overall voluntary expenditures until September. This will give you time to see if any unusual expenses come up. Don’t wait too long to shop for things you need, however, as Mercury will turn wild and wooly when it retrogrades in mid-October (and you will see life become scrambled eggs much earlier), so in short, October is not the month to buy anything expensive. You’d be best to wait to shop until the end of November if you cannot do so in August or September.
The good part about all this is that for the first time in years, Mercury will not be retrograde in December, when we all are buying holiday gifts. Retailers will be happy too, for they won’t be beset with stock running out of top items. Everyone loves to buy electronic items as gifts, and for the first time in years, you can shop to your heart’s content for those in December, confident your recipient will be overjoyed with your purchase. You will be able to sign year-end contracts in early December (but not in late December) – but all in all, it’s all good.
Going back to this month, you may want to go back and read your July forecast. If you did not read your forecast last month, you may want to do it after you get done reading this one for August. You can find it under Dates to Note if you scroll down here – I always provide the previous month’s forecast for you so you can check how closely the aspects I saw resonated for you.
July’s forecast is important to you because it marks the start of a new trend, thanks to the arrival of Jupiter to Cancer in late June, to stay nearly thirteen months. Jupiter, a very generous financial planet, has not assisted you in this area for twelve years, so the influence is new, and I am sure, will be very welcome! This coming financial trend is such good news, I am sure you would want to read all about it.
Of course, no matter what, the proverbial man with a briefcase full of large bills of money handcuffed to his wrist is not likely to show up at your doorstep, ring your bell, unlock his handcuff, and drop off the cash with you, even though you have fantastic financial aspects for the rest of 2013 through mid-2014. Indeed, you can find ways to get the bundle of cash that has your name on it, but you have to work at it.
Astrology is not about predestination. Rather, use astrology to plan your biggest initiations on your most favorable days so that you can complete your goal. All strong, good aspects are based on the work you did prior to the start of the trend, so the more credit worthy, trustworthy, and honest you are, the harder and smarter you worked in the past, the bigger your bounty will be now. You are starting a year of enormous financial reward. The eighth house, so fortunate for you now, is the part of the chart that rules a bank loan, venture capital, mortgage, divorce or court case settlement, insurance payout, inheritance, commission, licensing fees, or bonus, among other sources. A large chunk of money seems to be on the way to you, so stay optimistic.
There is one day, however, falling on August 7, when Jupiter will oppose Pluto, that may bring an extremely difficult financial negotiation where you may be forced to trim any excess expenses from a deal. You may be amazed at the push back you experience from an influential person about what you consider to be a reasonable financial request. On that day, Jupiter, your ruler, will be under siege from Pluto, and with both these big-deal planets in dispute with one another, there’s no way to avoid a tough negotiation, and hopefully, a compromise. If you just leave a little room around this day, you should find talks may go easier, after everyone has time to reflect on things.
There is another way this day, August 7, may work out. Think back to December 2007. Did you begin a major venture at that time? Back then Jupiter was conjunct Pluto (just opposite what you have now), a wonderful time to sign papers and launch a venture. Your expectations were high on both sides. A conjunction starts a new cycle, and an opposition tests the value of that cycle. We have an opposition now. It seemed like you might have made quite a bit of money back in December 2007 and early 2008, at least on the onset (well in advance of the stock market crash September 15, 2008). Now, six years later, you need to ask yourself if you are happy with profits being generated, and either make adjustments to the venture or abandon it altogether. There are no right answers here – you will get to choose the one that seems best for you. A mid-point in a cycle is simply time to take stock and find ways to make a project better and profitable.
Your biggest day for travel will arrive a few days later with the new moon of August 6 in a fellow fire sign Leo, at 15 degrees – this new moon may set off not only a trip this month, but many more trips in the weeks and months to come. Uranus will be beautifully oriented toward this new moon, so surprise, spontaneity, and fun will mark your days away. You seem to travel for romantic reasons and that sounds delicious. See if you can pack and go within days of this new moon. You may travel for a negotiation, too, and if so, be confident – you have so much going for you now!
This same new moon of August 6 will help you with your pursuits to get a college education or advanced degree in the days that follow. If you are getting ready to go to campus, you are likely to love your college year ahead, for the new moon’s fine aspects will color your entire semester school experience, not only the experiences you have in August. There won’t be another new moon like this one in this part of your chart again until July 2014, so this new moon will be special. This new moon will also help you if you apply for a grant, or need to get ready to take a major test this month, like a bar exam or an entrance tests like the GRE.
If your birthday falls on December 7, or within four days of this date, you will feel this new moon in a very powerful way and do well with all that comes up. If you have Sagittarius rising at 15 degrees (or within five degrees) or a planet in Sagittarius, Aries, or Leo at this degree, you will benefit quite a bit.
You may also travel, this time a short distance, over the full moon, August 20, in Aquarius 28 degrees, plus or minus four days. This means you may be going away over the weekend of August 17-18, or August 24-26. Can’t decide? I like August 24-25, with you leaving Friday night, August 23. That full moon will be conjunct Neptune, so you may decide to go to a place near water, a good idea. Saturn will be in the neighborhood and close enough to beam stability to this full moon.
The third house where all the action will be based near August 20 also rules contracts, so you may be asked to sign papers near this date. I worry that Neptune is so prominent, for it means either that a certain unclear clause may cause problems later, or that a clause about a certain contingency that no one thought to add would become problematic later, because no one would know what the intent of the contract was for both parties.
Of course, it’s also possible that someone will deliberately leave out information about the deal prior to your signing, but I don’t even think about this possibility. It IS possible. I feel you should go slowly, and ask lots of questions. Have your lawyer look at any papers you sign. I feel you should table the signing until the new moon in Virgo on September 5, a beautifully aspected new moon. A new moon in Virgo will help you ferret out any detail that would be amiss. Don’t rush!
If your birthday falls on December 20, or within five days of this date, you will feel the full moon quite directly and likely benefit from it. This would also be true if you have Sagittarius rising at 28 degrees, or a planet in very late degrees (near 28 degrees) of Sagittarius, Aries, or Leo, or very early degrees (near 0 to 3 degrees) of Capricorn, Virgo, or Taurus.
Once Venus enters Libra on August 16, you will have this love goddess’ support until September 10, just in time to select new things to buy for the coming season. It’s always a good idea to see about refreshing your look when Venus shines her shimmering beams your way – and that’s as true for men as well as women.
Over the weekend of August 3-4, love will be in the air, when the Sun and Uranus will be beautifully angled. Because Uranus is in your house of true love, and the Sun will be touring your house of long distance travel, you may spontaneously decide to go somewhere far, either immediately or very soon.
A bad day for love will be August 26, when Venus in Libra will oppose Uranus in Aries. Do not bring up any controversial subjects on this day – keep things calm. Fortunately this is a Monday, a less likely day for a romantic night out.
Once Mars enters Leo on August 27, to stay until October 15, you will be in extra good shape for all the emphasis you noticed in the days that spun from the new moon, August 6 will become front and center again – travel and your pursuit for a higher educational degree. Legal matters will tend to go your way as well, not only court cases, but also new contractual matters, and applications such as for a trademark or patent should go well, too.
The month ends on a sensational note involving your career. When Mercury, which rules your solar tenth house of fame and honors, contacts Jupiter, August 29-30, you’ll be due to hear VERY good news. If you are on vacation, you may miss this news, but if you have planned to go away, then stay powered up and ready to respond to news. This breakthrough could be major, and well beyond a simple text – you need to talk to the person who will be trying to reach you!
and last month’s, from the same source, since i haven’t read my astrological horoscope in forever… bad girl… see, it’s like the lord. i don’t need them (them being the stars) when i’m doing fine. sorry.
This month should bring exciting news about money, and if things go as I expect, you should leave the month richer than when you entered it. There are so many reasons that you may be given a large chunk of cash this month, and if you are skeptical, keep an open mind. There will be a confluence of harmonious aspects, each one layering upon the other, adding up to quite a bounty for you. I touched on this coming good fortune, but now it has become a reality, and the trend is officially starting up.
Before I begin, don’t run out and buy a bag full of lotto tickets. Somehow when I tell people they will be fortunate, the word “lotto” usually appears instantly, but there are so many other ways to be lucky in this lifetime. Actually, when I read about the stories of winners, many crash and burn, and few seem glad they won the lotto. So let’s expand our definition of lucky. I will help you. (And yes, if you want to buy one or two tickets this month, go ahead, but don’t bet the farm on those tickets.)
Let’s start with late last month, when, on June 25, Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck, moved into Cancer. Although everyone will have new areas of life to celebrate, depending on the place in the chart that generous Jupiter will be based, you will have more reason than most to celebrate, because Jupiter is your ruler. This means Jupiter is weighted more heavily in your chart than in other sign’s charts, reason enough to track what Jupiter is up to every month, not just this one. (Today, only Sagittarius is ruled solely by Jupiter. Jupiter ruled Pisces in ancient days, prior to the discovery of Neptune; modern astrologers look at both Neptune and Jupiter for the outlook for Pisces.) Jupiter will remain in Cancer and your financial house for a full year, until July 16, 2014.
To have your ruler in a financial sector means you will be very focused on financial themes not only now, but also in the year ahead, until July 2014, the time Jupiter will move on to another sign. Still, this month, July, will bring an enormous emphasis and could truly set the path for the year ahead. (More about why July is so special for you in a minute.)
The financial area that will be lit up for you is NOT your second house of earned income and salary. Instead, it will be your house of other people’s money, including such financials as bank loans and lines of credit, or mortgage, or refinancing plan to your present mortgage. Other areas of gain include a generous court settlement, bonuses, large commissions or a book advance, inheritance, venture capital, royalties and licensing fees, divorce settlement, insurance payout, scholarship, or university financial aid. The check you get now would be very generous and it will likely come in one large lump.
There is another reason you should view the coming trend as extra-special. Jupiter has its favorite sign, and it is Cancer. Ancient astrologers wrote that Jupiter was exalted in Cancer, expressing its best qualities in this sign, and allowing you to absorb those gifts most easily, and allowing you to grow. As you know, Jupiter is now in Cancer.
This is the first time since mid-2001 and mid-2002 that Jupiter has entered Cancer, so you may want to think back to that year to see if you can recall any special financial trends that happened then. This time will be far better than the last, because back in 2001 and 2002 Saturn was in Gemini and opposed to your Sun, and Pluto was having a fierce fight with Saturn. Those were difficult years for the mutable signs (Sagittarius, Gemini, Virgo, and Pisces). These and other planets have moved into different positions of course, too, as planets are always on the move in their mission for change.
Just because all the action is focused on your eighth house, this is not to say you won’t see a rise in your salary, too – that will happen eventually. Jupiter will be standing opposite your second house on the horoscope wheel, so you will, at times, receive help from Jupiter as he pings his energy back and forth between the two financial houses. This rise in salary won’t likely happen now, but stay tuned, for it may happen at the start of February. You are likely to be happy with the extra amount in your paycheck, too. Of course, you have to be part of all this – asking for a raise will be necessary in February, or you can choose to find new sources of income elsewhere that month. Be ready to be assertive the minute February dawns.
You can have the most thrilling planet (like Jupiter), but without a new moon to wrap the energy into a special package along with the other planets circulating in the heavens at the time, it will be hard, if not impossible, for you to access Jupiter’s goodies. You will have that important new moon in Cancer on July 8, accompanied by the Sun and Mercury.
It would be great to have Mars too, and guess what, only a few days later, Mars will be finished with his assignment in Gemini and zoom into Cancer to be present with the others to welcome Jupiter to his new sign. (Mars may force your spending upward, but you may have saved up and planned for this eventuality now. Your heavy spending will calm down by the end of August. )
So far, this abundant financial planetary force behind you would be enough to make you feel luckier than a leprechaun, but there is MORE reason to be optimistic about your finances this month!
This month three heavy-duty outer planets – Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune – will work together to form a rare and dazzling golden triangle in the heavens. The three points of the triangle will include 1) your ruler Jupiter in Cancer, in the eighth house of other people’s money as you and I were discussing. Jupiter will connect with the next planet. 2) Saturn in Scorpio in your twelfth house of confidential talks and matters, and the last point of the triangle will be 3) Neptune in Pisces in your house of home, family, and other property.
While you will notice the lilting effects of this stunning, rare configuration all month, this triangle will reach perfection on July 17 with all three planets found at 5 degrees, in Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces. July 18-19 will be special, too – I am splitting hairs here. Can you imagine how hard it is to get such a mathematically tight triangle in the sky when Neptune takes 165 years to go round the Sun, Saturn takes 29 years, and Jupiter takes 12 years? Each planet on such different orbits, and yet all three are able to create a mathematically perfect triangle this month, and all three will represent each of the three water signs. This is why these events are so rare as to be considered once in a lifetime in their uniqueness.
There are several ways this generous, harmonious golden triangle can help you. First, you may be having talks with your bank to get a new mortgage or refinancing plan, or to find a way to get out from being “under water.” Or, you may be asking for a home improvement loan, and if so, it is the right time to do so. Most big plans require big money, and this month you can make a dream a reality if you apply for funds.
There is a completely different way this golden triangle may help you. The eighth house, where you have Jupiter, is also the house of transformation and surgery. You may, now, decide to have an operation you’ve been putting off. With Jupiter in this house, also called the great healer, your outlook is optimistic. Of course, you must do your homework and locate the very best doctor for your condition, even if it requires you travel to another city to meet your specialist. One night I heard on the news a survey that found most people put more time and energy into researching their vacation than they do their medical needs. Don’t be that person! Due to the fact that the eighth house rules other people’s money too, it seems that you likely would have the right insurance to pay for a procedure.
Continuing this discussion about surgery, the twelfth house is also the house of confinement, ruling hospitals and rehab centers, nursing homes, and physical therapy centers. Because one point of the golden triangle is pointing to your twelfth house is a positive sign – you will likely choose a modern up-to-date institution with a fine reputation, one with the newest equipment to help you. Accept nothing less than the best.
The third point of the triangle suggests that you might be helping a family member with his or her hospitalization (not you) or helping your parent move into assisted living housing. These are only examples, but you get the idea, and again, with the golden triangle behind you in July, you are likely to be happy with the result.
No matter what, with the twelfth and eight houses lit, you will be highly intuitive, dear Sagittarius, so listen to your instinct – you won’t need friends’ opinions to help you make decisions. You might seek out experts – that would be a fine idea, always – but don’t solicit many friends and family because they will drown out your inner thoughts that you should be paying attention to this month.
Mercury will be retrograde in Cancer (in your financial house) this month, which will add a little complication. I do not want you to sign any important papers until AFTER Mercury goes direct, July 20. I would suggest you schedule the signing on July 22, which is also a full moon, or later if you prefer. Mercury rules agreements, so if you sign earlier, you may have to renegotiate your deal afterward, again. It would also not be wise to buy anything expensive during the first three weeks of July, and especially not anything electronic, like a new computer, or anything with moving parts, like a car. You can schedule talks, but I would prefer you not finalize them yet.
By the third week of July, on the full moon in Aquarius 0 degrees, you will be ready to travel, but not to too far from home. Saturn is in the wings, imposing limits, and you may feel the weight of responsibility to be near loved ones, such as a parent, who may need you. It would be great to get away, for all the financial talks you will be having may make you yearn for a few days out of town.
This full moon will affect you most (and benefit you, too) if your birthday falls within five days of November 21 or you have Sagittarius rising at 0 to 5 degrees. If you have your natal chart, check to see if you have a planet with the same tolerance of degrees, 0 to 5 degrees of Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Libra, or Sagittarius, or very late degrees (27 degrees) of Scorpio, Pisces, or Cancer – you will benefit, too.
The end of the month has cosmic storms, as does the very start of the month. Let’s start with the beginning of July.
When it comes to love, July 3 or July 4 could be very troublesome, for the Sun will be in very hard angle to Uranus. A new relationship could suddenly go straight off the rails under this very hot and volatile aspect. Because Uranus is involved, whatever comes up will occur out of the blue, so you may feel broadsided and not know quite how to respond or handle the situation. At the core, you and your partner may be upset about money. I hope you are able to settle things, for later, when it comes to new romance, more storm clouds are due.
On July 31, Mars, still in your money house, will clash with Uranus, suggesting somehow money is becoming a major topic of concern in your relationship, but not in a positive way. The fifth house rules not only new love, but also children, so it’s alternatively possible you will need to give your older child a large check, or pay for something your child needs badly that you did not expect to pay for at this time. Or, with the fifth house involved, there is an equal chance that a creative project may incur overruns that you need to cover. Any of these examples could explain the sudden emphasis on money.
As long as I am discussing hard days, I will add one more, July 27, when Saturn will be in very hard angle to the Sun, not a day to be traveling, whether for business or pleasure, for things are not likely to go well. At the same time, Mars will oppose Pluto from two financial houses on July 27 too, so you may feel very pressured by someone to pay for something or agree to a financial plan that you do not want to do. These two planets will go at each other like a dog that has clamped his teeth onto a newspaper that is being tightly held by the postman – neither will let go. You will have to be articulate, persuasive, and firm too, but at times, you may feel like you are fighting City Hall.
I tell you about these days, July 3-4, July 27, and July 31, because I feel you need to know about them so that you will not schedule a vital meeting or event on one of those days. They are highly unstable and something that happens may make you mad.
Some astrologers feel July 29, with its powerful sextiles from several planets (aspects that are 60 degrees apart from one another, denoting opportunity), will be a banner day for you. I don’t agree. I feel the difficult aspects of July 27 and July 31 have a long tail, with their plus or minus tolerances – both days will overlap July 29 with their fierce aspects.
I also feel any five-star day requires a new moon to arrive before it appears, or a full moon very close to it, to allow you to grab on to the energies to their fullest extent. I say this because the time after a full moon (four days after it appears) always represents time for each of us to rest and regroup, not act. That is happening here (the full moon is July 21). For these reasons, I do not feel July 29 will be special for you.
I do feel July 17 will be your golden, five-star day, with July 18-19 very close runner-up days. July 18-19 days have another plus going for them, as the moon will be in Sagittarius on both Thursday and Friday.
Here’s what we need to do to find out if I am wrong. On August 1, please post a note to me on Twitter @AstrologyZone to let me know if July 17-19, the days I feel you will be your very best, turned out to be good for you, or if July 29 was the more spectacular day for you. Please use the hashtag #July29 in your post so that all the readers here can gather together all the posts and read them at once. Life is a big laboratory! I can learn a great deal from your feedback, dear Sagittarius.
Romantically, Venus will remain in Leo from July 1 to 22, a wonderful place for Venus to be for you. During this time, because Mercury will still be retrograde, you may hear from an old love and you may decide to meet again. (This will be your choice; there is no reason you would have to meet if your instinct tells you not to do so.)
When it comes to love, you have two special days that deserve gold stars. The first will come over the weekend of July 7-8, when Venus and Uranus will be in a grand mood, spreading pixie dust and sunshine wherever you go. It’s the ideal weekend to meet new people and to have lots of carefree, serendipitous fun.
The second special day will be July 21, when Mars and Jupiter will make a rare alignment. Mars rules your house of true love, so the chemistry between you and someone new, or the person you are in love with now, should rocket off the charts. Be sure to be out and about this Sunday, and schedule a romantic dinner that evening.
Wow, dear Sagittarius – what a month!
shit, speaking of the stars, i don’t think i wrote about camping the other night for chris’ birthday. for the most part it was a eat-a-thon because it was looking mighty cloudy and like we probably wouldn’t be able to go to this observatory in southern washington even though we had planned to go to deschutes river state park for that explicit reason. btw most amazing park ranger ever and he was offered food by dasha but had to turn it down because it was against the rules and instead went to eating frozen potstickers for dinner, so he said… he was pretty gay and sassy and when we first met him said something to chris as we were leaving but chris wouldn’t fess up as to what. probably nothing, though…
anyway, we ended up going to the observatory super late that evening cause chris called them and they said they’d stay open for us until midnight (and then we’d see where it’d go from there). chris and lymay knew some older guy who used to work there but a younger guy, NAMED TROY, has now taken over. he let us in, showed us some stuff on the telescope (which is super bizarre and way tinier than i woulda imagined) and then unggghhhh ps it was freezing as fuckballs and i had no additional clothes… and then we went to some classroom and got a lecture, and also looked at the meteors outsides because the persides were happening at that time (though not at their height until four days later, until wednesday). the lecture was a half-hour but we learned a buncha things, even though i was cranky and sleepy and dreading needing to wake up early the following morning (i flipped a coin and that’s how it was decided i would go there even though i knew i would need to get up at 6:45am to drive us home). turned out feeling a bit bad on the way home because i drove more than halfway but then ryan had to drive because i was too tired, and i found out later that his seizures (daytime) have been coming back unexpectedly, and that they often come back when he’s tired… kinda a bummer… not sure if i should bring it up to him or not since he didn’t tell me and i just heard… but it probably would be good to, even if he’s maybe a bit weirded out or embarrassed by it (as he didn’t tell anyone until they saw him have problems during practice :[) other than that… hoping tyga doesn’t get hit by these giant walnuts falling out of the tree in troy’s backyard…
back to the observatory… found out that neon signs are only made of neon if they’re red; otherwise they’re other gasses. dude was also super funny and had quick wit; he quoted tons and tons of simpsons and had some alien voice action going on towards the end (and recited the whole thing where they pretended to be al gore and bill clinton), and all-in-all, it was pretty amazing. great place, and i guess one of the few public research-grade telescopes available around. guess they have a tenuous relationship with the neighborhoods surrounding it because the old guy used to complain a shit ton about people installing things and light pollution so that the town tried to shut the place down… so troy is trying to fix things and be a bit more friendly with everyone in the surrounding towns. hope it works out! it’s definitely a cool thing, and cute like an elementary school in vibe, decor, smell (according to dasha). dasha’s super cool, btw. like her a lot. funny that we first met outside of planned parenthood, supporting them via dancing around in front of it. haha.
finally rendering the final video for the night. 13% on vegas. 5:19am. will be in bed by 5:45? to wake up in four hours? ha.
Haa, back from a day of shooting a wedding with Shawn — and guess what? Fucking ONE file is corrupted from one entire day of shooting. Guess which one. Yup that one. And from mine, the close-in camera! Fuck my face!!! Fugg fugg fugg fugg! Shawn has another angle but you can hardly see anything and can mostly see the groom’s face. I am unsure if this is recoverable or not, as it has a write error, most liekly. I wonder if I accidentally turned it off while while it was writing or something? Fuck it is prob totally my fault. That is probably more or less what happened considering it proba took quite a bit of time to write and I probably did not see it all the way through. Fuckkkkk. I saw that that file was corrupted in passing when I went to film the next pieces but did not really think much of it. Perhaps for the better as I probably would have had some sorta major freak out. But ohhh my gooooooddddddddd aaaaaah. :9
Okay — so since this crud is going to be playing for the next, ohhhh, fifty minutes… I’m going to get started writing. Ladida. So You Think You Can Dance is still the tightest freaking show!
Anyway. Going to Cape Kiwanda was fucking amazing. I initially wanted to go there because of Christian (Rachel’s old roommate)’s pictures, which looked absolutely incredible (he is a photographer / videographer, after all). Aaaah. It just dawned on me as I was writing that that I have to shoot a wedding on Sunday. FAAAACKKKKK. Scary. Haha. So many things to figure out. So much stuff to prepare for, to feel for. Aaah. It would be nice if such things required no forethought, could just show up… but it doesn’t work like that, I guess. I really have to put some time aside for such things, which is always the problem, the underlying necessity that is a bummer to actually execute.
Anyway. So… we pulled into the parking lot super super late at night, after passing through Tillamook and going to the Rodeo restaurant, which was one of those funny places where you can throw peanuts on the ground while you ate and what not. I ate a burger… a veggie burger… there… and it wasn’t terrible, which is good! Actually they had some interesting things on their menus — like japlapeno and cheese egg rolls with jalapeno jam. Woohoo! But we didn’t get that. We also stopped by the Tillamook cheese factory to steal some cheez before that… and oh yeah, before that, tea and Salt & Straw. Yeahhhhhh ridiculous foodage but that’s what they wanted, and Sherry kept saying she was obsessed with ice cream, so I wanted to come through for her in that regard, though she didn’t ask!
Man, I thought the fleas were gone — especially since I didn’t really get bitten last night — but I don’t know that that is actually true because I am feeling new bites. BLARGHHHH FUCKKKKK. So annoying.
Anyway, when we pulled into the campsite it was really late at night and we couldn’t see too good. But we had quite the hard time finding it because it’s behind this hotel and shopping center and the entrance is not at all clearly marked, and it being the middle of the night, it looked COMPLETELY like a parking lot. And there was no separation between any of the campgrounds, making the noise travel super far and all that. And it was $25 a night yarrrghhhh! All up in everyone’s shit. We set up our tent and passed out after making s’mores, because there wasn’t enough food eaten already… oh yeah, of course, we also went to Tillamook and bought a million things at the supermarket… a fifty dollar bill… which has now left me way too much of this crud to eat… and me being me, that is happening, of course.
Waking up the next morning, things were slow to start and chill… eating, sitting, blahblah. The Cape Kiwanda park was just across the street, so we walked over, and it was about 11:30 when that happened — later than I thought. We consumed the mushies on the beach proper, amongst the families… and the families… and the families… and the families. Lots of families. And us unlidding the cuppy cup of sippy sip and sipping. And we split it into thirds and drank it up. And then I dished out some chips and mushroomies, and Sherry was funny and become super obsessed with eating up the initial strained out mushroom from the sippy sip, which was… fine… tasting… not bad, certainly… but hardly good, really… and yeahhhhhhhh. But we — but mostly her — ended up killing that with all the jalapeno chip and dipping.
There’s a guy on this show named Bluprint. And another one with another far-out name, which is pretty amazing.
So many commercials agrrrghhhh.
After we ate it, we walked up to the placey place and there were some caves near the bottom that we unfortunately passed over. There was a giant sand hill that everyone was climbing up and running down… mostly kids and families, again… and we wanted to go, but on the way back, it was decided… no rush. So we walked to the left of the sign that told us not to enter, and laid down for a while on some rocks which were overlooking the beach we were just on. From that point, it only looked like there was this very small, very short canyon wall with nothing much behind it. Because it all goes out into the ocean in a large circular point, but you can’t really see that from where you are. So we laid for a while and Sherry felt nauseous and ended up puking… and eventually we walked in the direction of the trees (maybe even partially because she puked, who knows) and discovered soon that there was oh yes, a lot more. We started heading up to one particular area, and, framed perfectly within a dark shadowy backdrop was a white-had man with a British accent and in sideways-turned profile view, looked at Jeanette and I (I think Sherry had already passed?) and said, “Your adventure has just begun!” and I responded with, “Yeah! This is fantastic,” or something like that… which is not an appropriate answer for the epic weight of what he said, which we ended up harping on over and over again for the rest of eternity. Sherry and them were repeating it over and over with whatever words… the only word that was consistent basically being “adventure” — and I had to correct them over and over again about what it was, which was totally incredible.
Anyway, words can’t really describe the awesomeness that was the place, the sense of adventure that it encompassed completely… because every time you pulled up to what looked like the end of a cliff face or the end of a forest, in you would pass to something that would open up, a new expanse, a new type of terrain, in an area that was not at all very large at all. Constant surprise, constant adventure, with every step. And all because we strolled past the sign you weren’t supposed to stroll past (ridiculous, absolutely). I was thinking about how sad it was that that was all to the left of the sign, but then I realized that perhaps a buncha dummy kids would be running all over, and instead there were just a select few people — diverse, for sure, with grandmas and what nots with dogs and lawn chairs — ahhhhhh yaaaaa. But yeah. Endless land of adventure and enchantments. I could go into details… but I’ll just say that that my favorite parts were the poop-stained rock that the birds wanted to poop on in great number and had a kind of abstract splatter pattern that was absolutely amazing. There was another area that was amazing, with criss-crossed hatchmark patterns that, as you were facing to it and panned right, turned from orange and white into darker and darker, and into melting and melting and melting and melting. To the right, the far right, more poop-stained rocks, with tons and tons of pelicans just chilling the fuck out amidst their poopy poop. SO GOOD. SO GOOD.
Sherry did trip a little bit — and I did as well when we initially were lying down on the rock and looking towards the sky. It hit fast, but then I think my buzz was killed a bit because of Sherry’s sickness and nausea… and I just didn’t feel like I needed to really take more even though Jeanette did and got some good hallucinogens and vibrancy out of it. Sherry had really good control over her shrooming which was interesting; she said she saw borders around everything… but that she could change the patterns on the borders… I don’t have that kind of control over my visuals, I don’t think… or maybe I have never tried? I suppose that perhaps I have never tried. Interesting. Maybe that should be a goal in the near future.
As far as personal insights… Jeanette and I had a good talk about her family problems as well as my relationship concerns… no conclusions or anything, just thoughts… and later on, I felt exhausted from hardly sleeping the night before because the campground was so uncomfortable that I lied down on this sandy patch with all the stuff and a sweatshirt over my face (people kept walking by saying stuff like, “Someone just left their stuff here?” but then notice I was there and pass on. Anyway, I started listening to Om but then weirdly thought about my writer John and had reptilian carnal vibes — not images, really — that I didn’t like… so I decided to forego that and decided otherwise to just listen to the first track on the Lady album, “Tell The Truth”. Last thing I expected was to weirdly start crying, thinking about relationship-related stuff, feeling helpless about it in a sense, I guess. Hard to say. I can’t really put the emotions into words — I think it was just a general sense of being overwhelmed by things… yeah.
There’s a choreographer called Saul Cheeseman. CHEESEMAN? Amazing. This current dancer is pretty cute. Skinny JGL vibes, and kinda stonery and smiley. His name is Paul. Yarrr. CUUUUUTE.
I assume there might be other things to say, but I don’t quite feel like it, so this is just going to be the end of it. RAWR.
Oh yeah. What there is to say is that we didn’t figure out Sherry’s life, which is what I was hoping to help her do. It didn’t help that she pukey puked and that ended her trip, I guess. At least I’m glad she saw it and found it interesting… hopefully there will be some change somewhere. I want her to be happy! Like, really.
Also, I’m a bit of a scrub and they were a bit too nice in paying for a lot more things than they really should have. Yarrrr.
Sherry and jeanette came up this weekend for some fun time beach time action, and twas a good time indeed. More on that in a second, but right now I have to say it is a bit freaky but dad is currently in the hospital for gall bladder surgery. He had had some kidney problems and kidney stones… but after peeing those out, he was still in great pain, so they went to the emergency room again to discover that he has gall stones which need to be removed… no big deal, cept they need to be removed with his gall bladder. Fuuucccccckkkk. I guess generally people don’t need to live without their gall bladder… it helps with digestion and bile production? But I guess your body can live without it and adapt accordingly; it is supposedly a common surgical routine. But acccck agggh. I haven’t told them that I too have made a couple trips to the doctor recently, as it obviously feels rather overly worrisome and pointless. Just went again since I happened near the exit and was still driving my rental car; it turned out to be 0.7 miles from where I was. So, I went to providence’s immediate care clinic, which is billed like an office visit but fails to allow you to actually build a relationship with a doctor… which is obviously not that awesome and is something I want, particularly because all these things keep coming up, imagined or otherwise. Tis annoying, these things… especially things in your abdomen as they are always more or less a mystery. I also asked them about my back pain, hinking that oughta be better by now since the lady said it would probably be fixed by the second pill — and I am on the seventh of ten — so blarrrrghenstow, I dunno, guess we will see later this week what is hurting and what is not. On a more general level, it does seem like the plethora of liquid-drinking is helping with my bowel movements-ish, and me being me, that is absolutely fantastic news. That aside, madness in nature form, as Cape Kiwanda is a most spectacular destination, full of constant unfolding beauty. It is for sure the coolest place I have been to thus far in Oregon — which is perhaps not as many to choose from as I would like — but nonetheless. Lar lar lar! So they both got in really late on Thursday night and took the taxi to my place. By the time they arrived there was little going on, some conversation, but sleep pretty shortly thereafter if I remember correctly. The next morning I had wanted them to go with Gina and Troy and I to brunch at Compote, which I have never been to, but Sherry had a morning meeting and thus could not make an eleven. They got lost early in the morning and Troy and I went to Happy Sparrow to chill out for a bit and eat a bacon nutella kolache, which was naturally completely delicious. Jeanette came over afterwards to give me bus fare since I had no cash. Fatness weekend galore, later on. Went downtown to rent the car, came back to pick everyone up, and went to Blossoming Lotus for lunch with everyone. A good and delicious time, though I am beginning to think I primarily like their pizza- or nacho-related things on the nut crackers, and everything else is GOOOOODISH but not like… insanely amazing or anything. Wakka wakka.
Anyway, just worked at the bubble tea place for a sec… but now home watching So You Think You Can Dance!! Aaaah it is on Hulu! That’s the end of my life! SHITTTTT.
I just ate a bunch of tomatoes with garlic and basil… which is fine except I sandwiched them into a few servings of Cheez-Its. YARRRGHHHHH. And I ate a buncha leftover marshmallows from earlier (I had to throw out the remaining four, knowing I would probably end up eating the shit out of them today).
They recently changed our water heater, and now it is super scaldy!!!! But for the best, I think. HOT SHOWERS ALWAYS!
Blahhhh more on this later. Will recap later!
just going to do some writing to catch myself up on my last couple days in south africa, as i am not sure how much i wrote about it. i guess when i am recalling events quite naturally — as opposed to boringly forcing myself to do it in a list-by-list manner — it is quite frazzled, super razzle-dazzled, bits and pieces, scatter-shot through brainspace! voyaging!
anyway. currently at the paris airport chillin’ — going to write this while FINALLY listening to my ipod, for even though i put new music on it prior to leaving, i barely really touched it once. just was busy enough and stimulated enough to not be needing music, i guess.
cape town day was nice, hanging out with sheel, lindsay, and josh. there was definitely some work talk which was more or less boring to me, but it was nice to hang with semi-familiar people and cruise around for a while. met them at their hotel — the radisson blu waterfront — at 9:30 in the morning and then we left from there. first stop was at cape town university, which was pretty new and fairly boring. the highlight was walking in around the cafeteria area, where some old middle-eastern couple (i think) were dispensing snacks. bought some kinda samosa thing… and though i had ordered the corn and cheese one, bit into it to find it was filled with meeeeaaaat. blargh. that marked the first eating of meat that was unscheduled. as lindsay said of them, they were “inept”, and indeed they were, but i found it cute rather than infuriating, really. the old lady was pretty deaf and couldn’t even get quite clear what josh was trying to order… they would microwave the samosas but did it in such a way (maybe the microwave was broken) where the guy told sheel to remind him when it was done so that it didn’t get too hot. i dunno. i liked them. oh yeah, before that we also went by some random memorial that we had found, which was dedicated to WHO KNOWS WHO because for some reason there was a sign about a quagga — some kind of creature that looks like a cross between a zebra and a horse but actually is not (actual zebra-horse hybrids apparently look similar but are instantly infertile) — but no sign about who the dude the memorial was made for was. it was some greek-looking epic shits with giant bronze lions… i dunno. vierd.
anyway, next stop was some small town along the way called kalk bay; some guy on their flight had told them that it was a good place to stop and eat. there were some shops but we only partially visited them after going to eat at a crepe place. the crepes were alright… which is funny because when sheel asked for hot sauce, they basically reassured him that things are absolutely PERFECT and would not need anything. i ordered a basily thing that was good — it was all seasoned well but the crepe itself could have used some work — but ended up just eating sheel’s because he liked mine better. i liked both but would have preferred mine just cause it had veggies… but he liked mine better and his had meat and he is veggie, i think, or he was picking it out, at least, and so i ate his. unwitting meat-eating, part two.
ah, well. we walked around the town for a sec but they seemed quick to leave. josh ended up buying a print from a store called quagga, and then we drove through simon’s town — no stopping — to go to see the penguins on boulders beach. considering that was what i wanted to do most, that was a great stop… sheel decided at one point he wanted to be the idiot american and jump down even though the place the penguins were was clearly fenced off. i didn’t agree, obviously, and lindsay said she didn’t think it was a good idea, but no one stopped him, and i didn’t say anything. as soon as he tried to jump down, though, some people in the area bitched at him, saying it was a protected area and that he wasn’t allowed to do that — and he instantly pretended like he didn’t know, and it was like… yeah, right… there is absolutely NO WAY. gladly, a worker came by and said he was going to fine him 500 rand just for going down. he didn’t end up doing so, for whatever reason, maybe due to sheel’s insistence that he didn’t know — but i really wish he had. 50 bucks is jack shit to someone like that, and it is the principle, really. idiot americans, blarghhhhhhh. and later on, we talked to that worker a bit, and he confiscated their ticket (though that is totally a whatever punishment) and told us a bit about these plastic pots they had buried in the sand to encourage the african penguins to breed. i guess once a penguin breeds in one pot, he comes back there year after year, and generally they have two eggs. in most circumstances, one survives, and then they get lazy about the second and leave it to rot or what not, and mongooses or whatever poach it. there was a mongoose around but i could hardly see its lanky squirrelly ass — and there was also a rock hyrax, who the worker said had been diseased and sick for months… the thing was an herbivore, but it looked like shit… definitely was sickly-looking (i thought it just dirty initially) and had flies all over its ass. sad face.
February 26th, 2013 @ 8:27am
Currently on the Bolt Bus on my way to Seattle, which had seemed so far away when I booked the tickets like, three weeks ago, but now is fast upon me. The Bolt Bus today has been replaced by a Greyhound because the original bus is in the shop. Which means no wi-fi. Which means I am just typing this onto a Notepad for the time being, and then I am going to pass out deliciously…
Things have been good, really good. I’ve set about again with giving myself schedules and checklists to work with, and have decided to devote certain days to certain things — allowing for overflow, of course — to keep myself sane. There has been a lot of work, a lot of opportunity, and even a lot of potential freelance work that is all coming in at once. And with a lot of people who are completely disorganized and allow me a lot of leeway in-between projects, which is good. I just bought a $1,300 Panasonic GH3 — to start to get serious with video stuff — and that is certainly going to be a financial burden. Troy just bought a $1,800 guitar amp which he feels a special affinity to — is the first thing he’s bought in a while that he feels super invested in… and I feel the same about this camera… and we’re just chasing dreams like idiots. Really happy idiots, at least for now. Honeymoon period, which is nice, since there’s no real rhyme or reason for that right now, or is there? I don’t know. Things just feel extremely balanced, which is nice.
(Gross, it just started smelling like cleaner product, blarghhhh, my least favorite things ever…)
Anyway. Dammit, just lost the little marshmallow cushion thing on one of my headphones — this always happens. And starting to feel like I don’t really want to be looking at a computer screen anymore, but before I do that… last night we did the third thing in our tarot reading workbook which was nice. There was this weird visual about entering into a card — and we chose Universe (him) and Judgement (me), which were pretty epic cards with fairly interesting results. I’ll go through the book and type some of this stuff out sometime — but we also worked out numerogically our “soul” numbers and “personal” numbers. Mine is ______ (crap, I forget the name, but it’s #8 and is about balance) and his personal number is The Fool and the soul number is The Emperor, but both of them actually trade places because The Fool is the exception. Anyway, it really makes sense, considering him — I feel like his being is old, perhaps, but rather new as a human, and most DEFINITELY an Emperor — which fits his Aries star sign, as well — and extremely strong-willed. So it is that these things are quite interesting and line up, though I am always more skeptical about numerology than about tarot. I keep drawing daily tarot cards expecting one to not make sense, but every time they make sense, and I’m not just talking in an “oh, that could apply to anyone” kind of way. They generally couldn’t apply to just anyone, and generally can’t even apply to me on any given day. And the suits — the suits are important. I rarely get discs (work and material goods-related) and almost never get swords (I hardly even know what they relate to, other than the fact that they are generally bad). I almost always get wands (spirituality-related) and cups (emotion-related). It’s extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely interested. The wands thing is even more interesting than anything, for I feel like they actually do follow the numbered path of things as opposed to just showing up randomly… and man, it is all really weird.
Now continued in the car, after plenty of rumpus time! Oh much improved, I feel like a reinvented human being after being able to sleep properly and be able to discuss the issues that have presently been eating up my psyche. Currently on the way from Las Vegas to Reno; it is an eight hour drive, which at this point feels like next to nothing, considering our 24-hour session yesterday, towards the end of which I began to go absolutely insane…! I swear, had the drive been an hour more, I may have started getting stabby (as I jokingly conveyed to the others).
Anyway. Back to Tara’s reading. Where to begin. I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit in the moments between wake and sleep on this drive. It felt a bit rushed really because she was needing to go back to her house, but she took fifteen minutes or so to give me a reading. This morning, she texted Troy to have him tell me, “Viva La Revolucion,” adding that I would know what it meant. Do I know what it means? Only kind of, maybe. It is interesting, though, that she told me towards the end of my reading basically that I would be involved in some kind of demonstration of some sort, involving a beautiful painting or street art and acting or something, and that it would look like a temple, with me in it at the center. From afar, I would look painted like the temple, like part of the temple; from the side, those approaching closer would realize I was a regular person. I don’t know what kind of demonstration that would be for, but it’s interesting considering what Ashlyn had said about me joining some group – the more “scientific” group – in activism-type activities. I can’t think of anyone, really, including the G&V person I was originally thinking about, who would be particularly activist-oriented, but I suppose that all depends on what the future holds, as we are all constantly evolving…
While she was talking about that painting and visual art aspect, she was like, “You’ll be a great painter or artist… but also a rockstar! Let’s not forget rockstar!” and it was definitely funny, for obvious reasons. She soon continued, saying, “Wait, what do you do in the band?” and I said, “I don’t play in any bands.” And she was like, “Whew, I was only saying that because I didn’t want you to feel like what you were doing musically was a failure; actually, I didn’t see anything related to music at all!” HRMMMM!
Themes reoccurring in this reading that aligned with those of the past reading included the idea that I was really old, and really deep… she kept saying that I was really deep, like a well, and older or with more dignity than anyone my age was that she had seen. She also said that I had a duality to me – a part of me that was deep and really extremely wise, and another part of me that was a modern lady. At that point she asked if I was some sign that had the doubles – I think she meant Pisces – and I said that I was not, and that I was Sagittarius, which she was too. From that regard, I think maybe it is more the Sagittarius-Cancer dynamic that brings out dualities in me… though I didn’t say that…
From the beginning, she said that Troy hadn’t actually told her anything related to us, but that she felt like there was a lot of tension, a blockage of some sort that was very temporary, but was straining the relationship. She suggested that the two of us take two weeks to be completely alone – and I said that that would be possible for me but not really possible for him because of his work schedule. She suggested maybe a week, then, or as much time as possible that we could spend together without the presence of others. It makes sense, maybe, if it is with regards to repairing things. I think even last night the opportunity to be alone for an evening was extremely helpful… with regards to our relationship I feel like things have been always very obvious and “duh” – except when it comes to how others relate also to the situation. She also reassured me that the first two years are the hardest, and that it will become way easier as time goes on.
I told Troy last night that if the Burning Man grant the others applied for comes through this year – to build a giant pyramid on the Playa – that I probably wouldn’t do it anywaty. It seems like too much commitment for me, and I feel like I have more important things to do at this point in my life. I also would rather spend that knid of vacation time and energy in other places. In terms of them, I would even hope they would take the time to say fuck it to Burning Man and use that time and energy on their music; I feel like they have so much they could do and that the time Burning Man happens is ever so crucial… but it is not my decision to make, and I guess it all matters what will happen with the grant itself…
Anyway. Back to the reading. When reading my palms, the first things she said was that I would have two kids. This was very obvious. And they would be very close in age. This was also very obvious. This – in terms of number of kids and their ages – also aligns with Ashlyn’s reading. “Don’t worry; it’s not soon,” Tara made sure to say. Moving on, she said that I loved in the same way that Troy loved – that when I love someone, I really LOVE that person, and that in my life, I will only truly love one person. The thing shat she said she has never seen in a palm is that I will find the person that is my perfect love and we will get married and never divorce. We will grow old together. And I will live a long life without too many health problems. She said, “I’m sorry; that must sound really boring, but that’s just the case,” and I was like, “Are you kidding? That’s like the best thing ever.” Haha. And she said, “Well, I guess that just shows what kind of person I am! I am engaged and already looking for a way out!” And I laughed, and she said that it wasn’t really a joke, and that she always had a back door plan just in case because she is just a “free” person. She also said that she had cheated on the guy a couple of times – and that he knew it – but that she hadn’t done it in two years or so, and that she loved him, ultimately. I guess her and her fiancé dealt with cancer at year four though they are now on year eight.
There may be other things. I will fill them in later, or I will not! In any case, just ate a whole fucking box of Reese’s Whoppers earlier. Great combo! But probably should not have been done, in any case.
Added 2:23am, April 10th, 2012…
Something that was pretty interesting that she said was that it was okay for me to be passionate or something (in sex) — and that sometimes women are more passionate than guys. Struck me and stuck with me, for sure.
I am at the home in Las Vegas where Troy lived from the age of 13 to when he moved to Reno in his early 20’s. It’s interesting being here, and it has been a fucking hell of a trip this past two weeks. I’m not sure where I am mentally right now, but… Troy’s step-sister Tara was here earlier. She said she had been thinking about him a few times in the past couple weeks which basically meant that he was perhaps going through some difficulties that would later work themselves out. She pulled him aside to a private room for a second when I first arrived, just to tell him something very quickly. I’m not sure what..
Troy insisted that she give me a reading. What she reads are moods. She told me that she felt that there was something going on between Troy and I that was perhaps due to stress because of someone being tired, but that I was really hard to read and she could not figure out exactly where the stress was coming from or why, but that she felt it would work itself out soon and that all would be fine. Said that she felt that he loved me very much, and that I was very good for him – almost in a nurturing, motherly way – though he may sometimes say and do things that make that seem to be not the case. Continued later.
first chance to write since sxsw and i think only the second for the entire trip. certainly not the only time i have desired to; it just never quite works out correctly. this is the day after my sxsw showcase, when i am waiting in a parking lot of food carts — almost all of which are disgustingly meat-and-bbq-related, and yup, just waiting! it’s cool. last night’s show was a success — a great and extremely positively-vibed experience with not one band i did not desire or respect the work of. it feels good that at each of the events i thorw lately, people say that it is the best event they’ve been to in a long time. shit, it feels good! was also cool to literally only go to one sxsw show, austin psych fest, and see a bunch of people i know — ryat, woodsman, midday veil — just all converging in a small space! nice! tried to meet up with chris a whole bunch but it never worked out… hopefully will start to throw some shows with emily in seattle in the near future. lots of plans. also stoked the swahili dudes got to buddy up with young magic; they seem extremely awesome and nice. lumerians also killed it so hard and had a projector they projected on the side of the house. wherever, really. and it looked doooooope.
thickness of skin with relation to relationship stuf and dealing with my emotions with relation to having to see all of that, harboring secret contempt, not being bitter about perspective, but at the same time, knowing that some things are not just perspective but truth. it’s hard. that sentence made no sense, but whatever. had a dream the other night that i told troy, “fuck you,” and it was really intense, and i knew that there was contempt and the issue needed to be addressed…