A bit of personal difficulty lying in this – in that, I remember from previously, that I fucking hate Sasquatch – and secondly, that this assignment seems most peculiar in its form, the fact that it is less about writing than it is about photography, that it is less about music than it is about the crowd-going public. Strange to me, interesting in some sense, but not in as much of a sense as I’d like, and I have to wonder why, considering the sociological component of music being so generally important to me. I can suppose only that I am being elitist in my choice of sociological crowd that interests me – that these people aren’t deviant enough in an obvious way so therefore they bore me, even when they are clothed in all psychedelic threads and are perhaps not being ingenuine in their desire to make an event out of it because certainly not everyone is encompassed in a life surrounded by so much music as I. How very elitist of me to take them at face value and not suppose that they have deeper interests at work! And how short-sighted, considering those individuals who save these days for a personal catharsis are perhaps more fascinating than my counterparts who strike me as comforting because they are the same. I understand the counterparts because they are more similar to me; I misunderstand and midjudge the concert-going public for I know not who they are. And I am realizing now as I am writing this — that it is unbecoming of me to become bored of these environments because of assuming that I understand people whom I do not know, understand their interests or their desires towards inebriation, so complete, in so public a setting. I suppose also that it is partially my awkwardness as well, my being forced to socialize when I would rather avoid, and the life of a photographer is rather an isolated one, I suppose, though there is a temporary community that springs up in places such as this because we are all in the same boat, all traveling by ourselves, all isolated in our coverage of the same things. I wonder, then, if today will be different. Yesterday was as the above. It is currently 9:08am on Sunday, day two of the festival (for me, at least; it is day three by general standards), and I am to turn in my assignment soon. I am not the most thrilled for in honesty it has been much time since I have bothered with concert photography. But today I will have remembered some things I had forgotten or not bothered to think of yesterday, and perhaps today’s assignments will be much more compelling of a work, hopefully, I hope. In addition to that, I hope to dose today, perhaps, for Little Dragon’s set. We shalt see-eth. But oh yeah, quick note about yesterday — most of the acts were remarkably boring, which probably also led to my general ugh-ness. I am much more thrilled about today’s lineup, which is funny, as I was talking to two individuals who basically said that the entirety of today was a wash, when today’s lineup is almost entirely comprised of the bands I want to see of the weekend. The next question is whether I want to stay tomorrow night to see Beck close out the evening — for it is probably sure to be amazing yet I have a four-and-a-half hour drive ahead of me tomorrow evening and generally don’t care — but then again… I missed out on the last acts of previous years, which included Ween and Massive Attack, and greatly regretted it, and I suppose the chance to actually see a last act for once, because it is at my own disposal, should perhaps be taken because it may never be taken again? Decisions, decisions. Surely if it were not just I, the decision would be much easier. I have just eaten a pack of surimi which was sitting in the car all day yesterday. Hopefully I don’t get sick, or hopefully I do and it’s funny! Who knows! Almond milk drinking time!
ARGH
healllllllllllllllllllllth
monnnnnnnnnnneyyyyyyyyyyyy
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
this horoscope below is particularly scary for me… so much health-related things… also, i am listening to this song on repeat — the first song i’ve wanted to listen to on repeat for quite a while now. i am reminded of my previous shame in having weird fucking symptoms that scared the shit out of me, going to multiple doctors, and having them find nothing. i am reminded of how embarrassed i felt for nothing turning up in an mri — but i didn’t even get a chance to see it and the dude was convinced it was a catscan (didn’t show me, again) even though i KNEW i had gotten an mri. but i assumed i was wrong. and while i knew i wanted to get a copy for myself, i never got it; again, with the shame, of feeling vulnerable and having people not care… to brush health and certainty under the rug because of self-consciousness.
i realized yesterday when i went into that job interview that i have grown a lot as a person, if only in that i no longer have doubts about myself when engaged in a job interview type setting. flaws are no longer important, no longer so pronounced; any reasons for not hiring me are probably due to personality and style more than actual disqualification. so it is with this health thing… i think i am worried about it enough that i need to just make whatever i want to see happen happen, for i feel so unsettled without knowing. i told troy that i didn’t want to see a doctor about an mri because i didn’t want anyone to convince me otherwise about it. the only problem is that i HAVE to see a doctor to get an mri, and they have to approve. going to call my other doctor tomorrow and hope that she will refer me. i don’t know. blahrg. it is incredibly frustrating.
>>>
SOURCE
Sagittarius Horoscope for May 2012
By Susan Miller
This month might bring some of your best news you’ve heard in a very long time! May has many lyrical elements to it, and among all the aspects, your very best include what I call the luckiest day of the year! This year, your luckiest day will actually occur over two days, May 12-13, and remarkably, those days fall over a weekend. These days deserve your attention because Jupiter, your guardian planet (“ruler), will meet with the mighty Sun. This will be exciting for everyone, of every sign, for completely different reasons, but the fact that your ruler, Jupiter, is involved in this configuration means you may enjoy the goodies the universe is sending us more than most.
On May 12 and 13, your luckiest days, Jupiter and the Sun will meet in your solar sixth house of work, health, and well-being. These areas of your life will feel a lively up-tick and bring good news, so let’s look closely.
First, think about ways to improve your health. In the most extreme case, if you have been troubled by a health issue and hope to find a diagnosis from a specialist, you would be wise to search for that doctor immediately. Ask friends and colleagues for names, and check each doctor out as thoroughly as you can. Sometimes when we face a health challenge we need more than one or two opinions – go for those now. Sometimes it is worth going for another opinion even if you are completely happy with your doctor. With each consultation, you will gather additional useful tidbits about your condition that you had not been given before.
Make your most vital appointment for May 9, 10, or 11, with May 11 your very best. (May 12-13 are weekend dates, but the days leading up to the weekend will be strong, too.) If you have special tests to be done, do them during the first two weeks of May. If you have an operation, schedule it as close to May 11 as you can, as Jupiter will be very close to the Sun, and both are known to be the great healers.
What if you feel basically good but had hoped to hit the gym regularly to get back in shape? Join a gym at any time during the first half of May. If you already are a member of a gym, learn a new sport, start with a trainer, or start attending group fitness classes in the first week of May. I say this because the new moon of April 21 will still be working hard for you in the first week of May, and it will help you see solid results. (You can read last month’s forecast, always, by looking below the Summary and the Dates to Note – you will see the link to April’s forecast.)
Here is a vital piece of information: I have found in my own research with charts of thousands of people that when it comes to losing weight, having Jupiter in the sixth house, where Jupiter is visiting now, is excellent. I thought I would find the opposite results (Jupiter is associated with fine living and rich food), but what I discovered is that Jupiter, the great healer, will redo your routine and help you discover healthy foods that you will enjoy and look forward to eating. Jupiter is about to leave your sixth house on June 11, not to return for twelve years. As with any benefic planet, it is when you begin that matters, and you just had that new moon April 21. So, in your case, you would be instituting your new healthy-living plan at the perfect time if you start in the first week of May.
When it comes to work projects, as you get very close to May 12-13, on those excellent weekdays, May 10 and 11, you may receive a superb assignment, one that makes you very, very happy to be chosen to do. If you have been out of work, mid-month may bring news that you landed a new job. You may have begun to interview for that job earlier last month, on the new moon April 21 and the days that followed. If you are self-employed, then these days in mid-May may bring you brisk business or an important new client. If you work for others in sales, get ready to land that big commission.
Do you love pets? Here’s some exciting news for you about this wonder-day May 12, operative May 10-13. If you have been thinking of adding a little furry creature to your household, you may find the perfect pet for you, as the sixth house, where Jupiter and the Sun are meeting, is associated with the care and love of small domestic animals. Scientists are only now calculating the direct link that exists between good health and reduced stress to the enjoyment many people derive from having a pet. Apparently the ancient astrologers intuitively knew about this beneficial effect, long ago, as they put health and small domestic animals in the same house of the chart. So if you are were thinking of getting a pet soon, go down to the animal shelter to choose a little kitten or puppy that you feel only has eyes for you. If you have a pet, celebrate your little one and pick up some new toys or treats over May 12-13 to show how much you care.
Why did I make such a strong point of asking you to act during the first two weeks of the month and no later? Here’s why: Venus will be retrograde from May 15 to June 27. Ironically, Venus rules the very house you and I have been discussing, your solar sixth house of health, work, and pets. With Venus about to retrograde, you have a very high contrast situation, where you have truly joyous, bright aspects, followed by ones that are the opposite – flat and far less vibrant. When Venus retrogrades, the house that Venus rules tends to be lackluster. This is why I want you to make your biggest choices early in the month, when Venus is still strong. Fortunately, Jupiter and the Sun will meet just prior to Venus going out of phase – this gorgeous aspect will come in just under the wire!
I want to discuss Venus more in a minute, for this planet rules many areas of your life, but I need to make a point about health first, before we leave that topic.
Now let’s go back to the full moon, May 5, that will also be associated with health, but this time, its focus will be your mental well-being. If anything has troubled you privately, you may now feel a need to talk things over with someone you trust – a best friend, a professional therapist, or a member of your religious community, for example. Full moons bring things to the surface, and it becomes harder to suppress things. Rather than to try to continue to hold things inside (with a powerful full moon like this one, you won’t be able to anyway), you should feel good about sharing your thoughts.
This full moon will link to Pluto in a very supportive way, and Pluto rules the roots that are hidden deep within the ground. Pluto will help you talk about things that may have been too painful to discuss, so that you can study the situation with that other person. By talking openly, you take away the power to taunt you. Mars will be in good angle too, allowing you to take action, and Jupiter, orbiting very close to the full moon, will provide his healing touch. This same full moon would be ideal for distancing yourself from the use of a substance that you know is not good for you. You can overcome these habits, so by all means, reach out for help. Those with more serious challenges will find comfort in rehab.
In your career, this month should find you doing VERY well. Mars is now in your lofty tenth house of career progress and will remain in this house until July 3. Until recently (April 13) Mars has been retrograde most of the year, so you may have felt like you have been walking up a moving escalator that was going down – not getting much progress, despite a lot of effort! Now, all that changes for the better.
Earlier, I discussed how you seem to be in line for a plum project near May 10 or May 11, when Jupiter aligns with the Sun. At the same time, action-oriented Mars is giving you an over-arching trend that will help you raise your status in your industry. The project you get to work on this month may help you to show off your talents, and so in that sense, the project will have “legs.” Mars, working with this trend, will do his job by making it easier for you to see high-level people who can advance you. As you see, the two areas are different, but will work together to boost your “stock” in the workplace. Let your boss know you are ready, willing, and able to take on that new big assignment!
Here is a case in point, when you may be up for a top job – May 16 – and you will make a superb impression! Mars in our solar tenth house of fame will send a direct beam to Pluto in your house of earned income. Both planets are very powerful, so by all means, use this day, May 16 for any career action!
Now let’s go back to the impending apparent reverse orbit of Venus from May 15 to June 27. Venus rules good looks, so first of all I don’t want you to make any dramatic changes to your looks during that phase. No plastic surgery, no changing your hair in a radical way! You want Venus to be happy and bright, not sleepy and lethargic, when you do things like that. Venus retrograde is not the time to shop for diamonds or other jewels either, as Venus rules all things that embellish. Thinking of giving a lavish party? Do so after June 27. Do all these things from May 1 to 13.
Venus retrograde may make you think twice about a certain close relationship, either romantic (most likely) or business in nature. You have Venus moving through your seventh house of marriage, but when any planet retrogrades in this house (especially Venus), it’s a time to reassess your assumptions and the course a close relationship has taken. If a relationship has speeded ahead too quickly, either you or your partner can slow it down just enough to make it more manageable.
Venus is associated with money too, something many readers don’t know, and when Venus retrogrades, Venus will lower the profit potential of any new venture that you sign on to during the retrograde. As you see, it’s not the time to form a business partnership. You can do so from May 1 to 13, and after June 27 but before Mercury retrogrades July 14. You have to be careful to avoid having Venus in the start date of any new venture during that time, as you don’t want this retrograde to affect the life of the venture, until that contract ends.
Now we come to the surprise of the month, the solar eclipse in Gemini, 0 degrees, falling in your solar seventh house of marriage and all other partnerships, including legal ones. This eclipse is sugar and spice, so you may get a proposal – and begin talking about what is to come. I would rather you not become engaged quite yet, nor married either, but it’s fine to discuss things. This eclipse will be so friendly because Jupiter will be within five degrees, spreading its golden vibrations all over your relationship sector.
Still with Venus retrograde, I don’t want you to rush into a marriage or business partnership after mid-month. Take your time – if love is real (or if this business deal is the right one) it will still be there after June 27. Venus is asking you to dig deeper and to clear the air if either of you have been hurt or have a misconception about the other. While you may have a little “work” to do (and I don’t like to call it that, especially in a romantic relationship, for if you love each other, it’s not really work at all but the exchange of information), the outcome can be spectacular. The fact that the solar eclipse is so friendly shows there is good motivation on both sides to make a success of things. This eclipse is a new moon, and these types of eclipses open a door wide, leading you along an exciting new path.
If you are a Sagittarian born on November 21 or within five days of this date, you will notice the sweet effects of this eclipse the most.
Over the past year, you have had a number of eclipses in your sign, Sagittarius, and in Gemini, your opposite sign (ruling your committed partnerships in your chart). Those came by December 21, 2010, and last year: June 1, June 15, November 25, and December 10, 2011. Last year’s eclipses were tough, especially the ones that landed in December. Now, Jupiter will arrive (next month, June 11), and that will make all the difference to you!
It seems you have already scoured the cobwebs from your life (if there were any) through the action of these eclipses. Just as importantly, you likely also found the goodness in a partner, too – eclipses address both sides of the spectrum. All eclipses want us to be productive; eclipses work against the status quo. If you are in love, but have not felt compelled to tie the knot, or if you find the right business partner, but have not signed papers, the eclipses will say, start to make plans! No more stalling! If you are looking for the right partner for you, this eclipse may help you find that person in the coming six months.
If you are already wed and happy, you may find out that your partner has news to share, and all of it is sensational. You may decide to do something new together – have a baby, open a shop together – you decide! Your significant other / established partner / spouse is a gem for you, and you will know this to be true now.
If you already have a business partner, or are in the process of signing a partner now, you will soon see that your partner is the best thing that ever happened to you.
After you know how the eclipse affects you, please share your stories by posting a note on my Twitter page (@AstrologyZone) or on Facebook (my name is Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone, and I am wearing the white blouse; the red dress is my public page.) By sharing, we can all get better at knowing about the nature of an eclipse.
Are you single and not dating? While this month is more about attached Sagittarians, month’s end should be great fun over the weekend of May 26 to 28. On Sunday, May 27, Mercury, ruling travel and news, will receive a beam from sparkling Uranus, bringing all sorts of surprises in matters of the heart. Be out and about circulating! On May 28, the Sun and Uranus will be beautifully oriented, again bringing you unexpected shots of happiness. I know Venus will be retrograde, but if you keep things light and flirty, and don’t jump in a relationship with both feet quickly, you can have fun.
Ironically, in the US, the Memorial Day holiday will take place May 26-28, coinciding with your best, most romantic time of the month, especially when traveling. Have you been undecided whether to go away or stay home – it seems clear! Go!
Single or attached, your most romantic dates will be May 2, 3, 6, 7, 10-13. After Venus begins to retrograde (add a note of caution): May 16, 17, 20, 21, and 25-28 (especially if you travel).
Summary
Take time this month to address your health, dear Sagittarius, because this month offers all the best of the best that you could ever need: qualified medical and fitness advisors and lots of motivation from you to make your healthy lifestyle plan a success. Having Jupiter in your solar sixth house, where you have Jupiter now, is the ideal place for having all sorts of health questions addressed, including losing weight. With luck on your side there’s almost nothing you can’t accomplish, so don’t delay. Jupiter will leave your fitness sector next month on June 11, so while all good aspects are in place, strike by taking your first steps toward your goal.
One Saturday date will be so spectacular for you, it won’t be repeated for more than a decade in precisely the same way – it’s Saturday, May 12, and the days surrounding, May 10 to May 13. Start your fitness or healthy living program then, and you’ll be gratified by the results you soon see. If you hope to see a doctor, schedule your appointment, tests, or procedure for the days leading to this date, on May 10 or 11 for best luck.
Your career is moving at good momentum now that Mars is no long retrograde. Say goodbye to the delays and indecision of higher-ups. You have a stunning chance to reach for the stars as Mars moves purposefully through your solar tenth house of honors and achievement. Watch May 16, when Mars and Pluto will cook up ways for you to get outstanding compensation as well as industry attention and applause. You’ve earned it – now, collect your due!
Venus will retrograde from May 15 to June 27, certainly not the time to make any final decisions about love or those that pertain to your looks. For both, you need Venus to be in fine form, but during this phase, Venus will be weak and ineffectual. In terms of love, if you are attached, you may feel as though your partner isn’t giving you enough attention, and that your relationship has become a little out of step. If either of you are harboring hidden hurts that you or your partner have not discussed before, things will come out in the open now. Air them with confidence – the solar eclipse on May 20 will be your friend. In terms of appearance, there is no worse time to do plastic surgery or change your hair radically than when Venus sleeps in retrograde. It would be too risky to do anything now – wait until after June 27 (the date Venus goes direct) and prior to July 14 (when Mercury goes retrograde) – during that little pocket in time, you will be pleased. I love July 5, when Jupiter, your ruler, orbits close to Venus.
The first solar eclipse of 2012 will arrive in Gemini on May 20 and light your house of marriage and serious legal commitments. Eclipses are known to push things forward rapidly and change timetables dramatically, so you may get a marriage proposal or give one – and before then you will need to start shopping for rings! If you are married, after May 20, your mate will likely have surprising, uplifting news to share. If you would rather use this energy to form a business partnership or hire an agent, you can. Whatever opportunity or choice comes up, it will be a positive one you will want to investigate.
If you are single and hoping for love, your angels have you in mind, too. On the weekend of May 26-27, you can do no wrong! Travel will increase your possibilities, making a meeting possible (even likely) when you barely think it might happen. Uranus will be working with Mercury and the Sun those days, and the moon will be in luxury-minded Leo, a perfect place for you. Believe that life can change, because it seems clear, yours soon will, and all for the better!
Dates to Note for Sagittarius:
Your most romantic dates: May 2, 11, 12, 13, 16, 17, 20, 21, and 25-28.
Your happiest day of the month, possibly of the year: May 11 or 12.
You may have a secret for someone – perhaps you’ll let it out on May 5!
Venus will retrograde from May 15 to June 27, and this may cause a project to need to be redone, perhaps just in part.
The most fortunate day of the month is May 12, but you will feel the energy May 10 and 11 as well.
Solar eclipse of May 20 will start talks about marriage, and could bring an engagement or wedding. Are you already wed? You may hear good news from your partner.
Your career should get great news on May 16, thanks to the support from Mars and Pluto. There will be excellent profit to be made.
May 21 will be a wonderful day for you to travel, write, speak, or sell. No one can resist you.
Love will be in the air on May 27-28! When it strikes, it will be such a surprise!
i am so RUAHOGHOASID.
dude, gotta get my shit fixed. lost a $1,000 dollar check sometime in the past week! have searched up and down for it, to no avail. i think that may perhaps be a new level of ridiculousness that i really need to address. the worst of it is that this is not the first time. money matters have been kind of ridiculously difficult as of late, which have kind of resparked in my mind a few things, such as the need to get more stable employment (since my part-time employment with uw will be slow for the next foreseeable month, and i am broke, broke, broke — but more importantly, there are many things i desire to do that i need money for).
so, as of today, i am going to turn a new motherfucking personal leaf. i am going to be more responsible about money. i am actually going to make sure people pay me the money that they owe me. i am going to actually try and get a part-time job. etc, etc, etc. maybe it is saturn return bullshit, but whatever it is, i’m feeling the great pressing need to grow up, at least in financial matters, though that does not necessarily mean giving up what i am doing… instead, i hope to make sure that what i am doing is supplemented by outwards sources, as it always has. no more of being a slapjack. this is unacceptable on a very profound, personal level, i have just come to realize. i think i have always been of the mind that i want to spend the extra time to work on my own things, but now i’m thinking if i had other things that weren’t my own things to contrast with doing my own things, i might get more meaningful things done with my own line of work — simply because it would place value on my time and efforts. people have said this a lot and i’ve never really necessarily felt it in the recent past… until now. sooooooo beautiful as the days outside are, and plentiful are the trips i want to take… i can’t really do those things without money, so. fuck it. time to get the scrillz, i guess. i mean, at least for now. we will see what lies ahead in the future once i feel more settled about this…!!!!!!!!
listening to gang gang dance’s eye contact; it has been a while as it is only on this computer. definitely remember the first time i was listening to it while sleeping and it woke me up because “glass jar” is just such a fucking beautiful track. it’s been a long time since i’ve embedded music links, so here it is… haven’t actually watched this live performance until now, but whatever.
… just saw La Dispute, to the great joy of my emoness. By happy coincidence (I was left off a guest list I was supposed to be on and happened to run into Jordan), I learned tonight that the vocalist discovered a review I wrote last year and found it so memorable that he knew me and my publication by name! He thanked me, stressing that he rarely enjoys reading what people write about his band but did in that case. While artists often receive direct feedback, journalism (as I know it) is largely unprofitable and thankless. For one of my favorite musicians to know me for my work — something with much wider-reaching implications than myself — is an honor. That I could pass on to him a very personal manuscript tonight is another. There are things to be thankful for, and a lot of times we make them as much as they make us. It feels important to make note of them. – http://www.redefinemag.com/2011/la-dispute-live-show-review/
oh yeah, my dream, scored.
forgot to post this before, but dustin wong scored my dream!! one of the most intense, perspective-changing ones. it’s funny. all things are pointing towards the fact that i should do visual art… most importantly, motion art. it’s fucked up. it’s super fucked.
first chance to write since sxsw and i think only the second for the entire trip. certainly not the only time i have desired to; it just never quite works out correctly. this is the day after my sxsw showcase, when i am waiting in a parking lot of food carts — almost all of which are disgustingly meat-and-bbq-related, and yup, just waiting! it’s cool. last night’s show was a success — a great and extremely positively-vibed experience with not one band i did not desire or respect the work of. it feels good that at each of the events i thorw lately, people say that it is the best event they’ve been to in a long time. shit, it feels good! was also cool to literally only go to one sxsw show, austin psych fest, and see a bunch of people i know — ryat, woodsman, midday veil — just all converging in a small space! nice! tried to meet up with chris a whole bunch but it never worked out… hopefully will start to throw some shows with emily in seattle in the near future. lots of plans. also stoked the swahili dudes got to buddy up with young magic; they seem extremely awesome and nice. lumerians also killed it so hard and had a projector they projected on the side of the house. wherever, really. and it looked doooooope.
thickness of skin with relation to relationship stuf and dealing with my emotions with relation to having to see all of that, harboring secret contempt, not being bitter about perspective, but at the same time, knowing that some things are not just perspective but truth. it’s hard. that sentence made no sense, but whatever. had a dream the other night that i told troy, “fuck you,” and it was really intense, and i knew that there was contempt and the issue needed to be addressed…
my default mode is so ridiculous.
when i got my spirit guide reading recently, i was told that i need to meditate more so as to regain my strength because i get easily discouraged when i don’t. it’s true. the discouragement comes from when there is a disconnect between what society says i should be doing versus what i do do, which is what i tend to do, mostly without question. but then there are issues that people bring up that sometimes shake my foundations when in fact, a lot of the time, my foundations are mostly fine enough that they shouldn’t be questioned that much.
take, for example, the issue of troy and van, where every girl ever says, “i don’t understand how you can allow that to happen,” and such and such, sometimes even going as far as saying, “you are a saint.” they simply can’t fathom how my boyfriend can be living in the same house as, playing in the same band as, remaining best friends with, his ex-girlfriend. and to be sure, it is hard, but it’s mostly hard when others plant these doubts into my mind. in actuality, it’s not nearly as hard as people think it is.
so it is right now with my doing stuff to help their band. it’s my fucking default mode! i can’t help it! it’s like a project i’m working on — only it’s not my project. but my mind moves really fucking fast at connecting dots, and it’s just something that happens. i probably think more about what i can do for their band than a lot of them do, just because i have the connections — i know the people i want to show it to who might like it, because in some ways, showing music to people who will like it is my job… so that’s just a thought i drift towards, really, practically without thinking. but when this happens again my mind thinks, “what are you getting in return?” because that is always the crappy programmed response a lot of people have when it comes to this type of shit. or, that’s what society tells you should think. perhaps it’s not unfair for me to want things in return… or perhaps it is. i can’t tell! i really can’t! i don’t know if it’s because other people are more selfish or lazy that they can’t give back similarly, or if their brains simply don’t think of ways to give back in the way that my mind is constantly thinking about that shit. i dunno. it’s a weird scene. regardless, i’m pretty certain i can get their record signed to a pretty alright label — domestically and internationally — so it’s definitely a project. and i guess if i keep doing their video stuff i certainly have carved myself out a niche within their musical sphere. so i guess that’s the benefit i get from it, potentially; but it’s only funny because it’s a benefit that’s… how do we say… kind of like piggy-backing but not really… and kind of it’s a benefit that i’m making for myself, as opposed to a benefit that i’m given. well, i guess in some ways i’m given the trust to do it, so that’s a thing. i’m not sure. it’s unclear. it’s ouroboros, haha. i mean, i guess if i help get them fame and then i get fame through video shit, it works. it’s like paying dues, or something? fuck if i know. argh, society, why you gotta always hold us down! seriously, though, i can see why people just drop out of doing anything they “believe” in. have a weak enough sense of self and shit is just harrrrrrrrrrd. it’s hard to convince yourself to want to do things you believe in all the time. who knows when they’ll pay off. my crap better pay off soon. 
this is day three of tour. san francisco at the hemlock was cool. saw ian and feelings — rad as always. swahili made a buncha money. skipped santa rosa show to hang out at home, which was apparently a good deal, because apparently santa rosa sucks and they played with a band named gay henry who apparently also sucks. i’m getting a past life reading today from swahili’s friend ashlyn, and i am also bringing back a shit ton of food that mom made for group lunch picnic in the park or something. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. it’ll be a good day in oakland. i set them up with a show with clipd beaks this evening. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. chris gave us a buncha suggestions for santa barbara (tomorrow). i’m stoooooooooooooooooooooked. also hoping he will like the new swahili tracks cause i just sent them to him! my new record label goal for them is seriously this: secretly canadian (or something else just as significant, like 4ad < my original goal).
anyway, i think i wrote this to reassure myself that i should just keep doing the shit i do by default because it is done in good taste, and i feel strongly that i should do it, so therefore, it is right, even if on occasion it makes me hella fucking jaded. so it goes.
Again, with the bubbles, rising up, porous, pouring into my brainspace. Again, with the flashes beack to memories, of conversations that strike and struck me as so charmed… so irresistibly charmed. I was walking on Cloud 9. I was indescribably elated.
This year, as March nears… I am reminded of the days and the phone calls I made, and the texts I wrote, and the seconds where I felt a flowing away of energy, from him. Unmentionable. Moments standing in the SXSW venue after my wildly successful show, ringing im, ringing him over and over, to celebrate my success, my greatest success. And finally he answered, and we spoke, and I went to bed, elated, and I went to bed elated, elated, elated. How was it viewed from the other side, I ask myself sometimes. Did the intensity suddenly become too much simply because it was set in a framework of a repeating phone call? That classic example of psychosis and fever-stricken love?… yes, as mid-March nears, I realize that at the same time last year, I would have been at around the same place I will be this year, with around the same people. Give or take a few of the new closest and most vital. But they are new, and the memories which are old still lie dormant, except for moments like this when I am passing in and out of consciousness on a long bus ride, most of the thoughts full of ideas for the future, but a couple thoughts memories from the past.
Just now, I recalled conversations from work today, where I drug up a memory of going to Southern California to eat good Chinese food. It was because of lunch today. Eating Chinese food in the company of others always brings me back closer to my roots, reminds me that I should appreciate more my heritage, that I should more embrace it, more readily, more tangibly, more frequently. And then it reminded me of when he and I spoke about his working for a Chinese company, of his being given long lists of Chinese names to read and learning the nuances of them as the only non-Asian person in the office. He tickled me. He still tickles me. And I don’t know what the sentiments are that I feel – whether they are remnants of feelings, regrets, or nostalgia. Probably a mix of all of the above. Why does my mind always go there lately, and with so much frequency? The dreams lead to the nagging dread and simultaneous hope of seeing him again. And his Pisces astrology for this maddening year for Pisces and astrology leads me to wonder if he will birth anew this season and find himself – and find myself as a result of finding himself. I am used to people returning, of people saying sorry for their destructive habits – and I wonder if he too will return. And when and if he does, how will I respond, I wonder?
I’m wondering now about the privacy. This is all an open forum. I speak in the abstract but it is hardly abstract at all. I wonder if certain individuals who should probably not be reading this as they no doubt would know they are exactly the individuals being described… I wonder if they are… reading this. I suppose it matters not. Frankness in a public forum is done for that specific intention. The intention of baring all in the name of who gives a fuck.
As of this past weekend, I feel successful. I was in Seattle for the past week for work, which was fine and dandy. It took me a second to warm up to it, feeling insecure of myself, perhaps, because I am not openly the most friendly or the best at sitting around at bullshitting. No bullshit. But these things take time. When I moved on found confidence in myself as not a complete weirdo but a person of worth, things were better. And part of that discovery, or temporary re-discovery, one should say, was due to conversations with musical friends in Seattle. And being reminded that the wkI do with REDEFINE is more than just completely useless. After Intuitive Navigation last year, Adam from Billions And Billions had said that it was, “Probably the coolest event of the year.” John said that he knew I was capable of accomplishing shit but not that kind of shit. Two nights ago, Emily said that Intuitive Navigation was probably a show she would look back on as a notable high point for the band. These words… they feel good. They feel human. And they come from humans who are affected, who are touched, who are musicians who understand what it is to work for no appreciation and to question your own motives and follow-through while in the midst of creating. I am no musician, but I feel this… this self-doubt creeping in and sometimes crippling. But whereas with musicians it translates as an occasional sale, or a smile or a thank you from a fan after a show, running a magazine is a bit thankless. And it is only when I throw shows that bring in individuals from multiple walks of life and create a safe space for everyone to come into contact with people they probably would otherwise avoid… it’s when I do this for the magazine that I actually feel like I am making a difference. Perhaps I am spoiled, madly spoiled, as I know that there are regulars that come to my site repeatedly, on a daily basis. Yet I am not satisfied. Will never be satisfied. Will never settle for mediocrity because it’s easy. I want better. I want more. And not in a greedy sense, necessarily, but because I believe it. I believe that cross-pollination can change lives, that education through shared and diverse experiences – rather than closed-minded “this-is-my-corner; that-is-your-corner” thumb-twiddling idiocy – is the answer. And it’s weird, and I feel weird, so weird to be so powerfully into this notion that I am pushing myself and driving myself like some silly jackhammer without a brain save for a brain of accomplishing the tasks at hand. Sometimes it feels like that. Sometimes it feels like the things that must be done are so ridiculously vast that they are not actually tangible. They are edgeless shapes with blurry edges that evade grasping. They are virtually clouds. And when they are clouds is when they most expand to take up great brain space. Great hazy brain space.
I guess the days that work are when the great hazy brain space fog becomes visible for what it actually is. Small particles of manageable size. Today I feel I see the miniscule. At least, more than I feel I have for the past month. The ideas are here. They have descended. It is not like this time last year where they were desirable but also difficult. These are desired! Exceptionally desired, right now. I am glad to crawl out of the hole for a minute, again. This year is beginning a bit rougher than last year already. But it is not going to remain that way. Not if I can help it. I feel I am on the up-and-up. Welcome, full mind. Goodbye, car sickness. This ends here. I love, I love. All incarnations.
UGH.
Went to bed early this evening, but the giggling in the next room over has woken me up, and I haven’t been able to fall asleep again.
Disappointment is weighing heavily on my mind. The fact that my favorite band of the hour agreed to play our SX showcase — making Gina and I the happiest we’ve been probably all month — and then backed out due to MONEY and FAME is a thing that drives me absolutely bonkers. While I do understand that the music industry is a business, I suppose that I had expected that my favorite band would be promise-keepers, that they would be saintly as their music, that words would mean more than wads. Appreciate as I do the personal email from Chris who apologized and assured that he fought to “stick to the original plan,” it is nevertheless an affront — not personal, but so, so apersonal that the apersonality is the root of the problem. While it is true that I know only three of them, they are a band that strikes a deep chord with me, perhaps the deepest since Incubus. But that, I see, may be only with Chris, and even then, these connections are veiled by facades, smeared by the haziness of perspective. Regardless of the reasons behind that most logically arrived-at conclusion about the business of their band — reasons which I “understand” but nevertheless spit upon — they’ve besmirched all that they are or were, in my eyes. It is less a calculated disapproval as it is a visceral instinct. It is a gut-instinct, a shaking-my-head-at-[the-royal]-you disbelief. It is to be jaded. It is to add to the jadedness already so stirred up and in-my-face this year by evidence of society’s allegiance to greed over morality. While I expect a preference for greed from money-hungry SOPA/PIPA supporters and the cold anonymity of SXSW, I expected it not from people to whom I have shown my guts — and whose guts I have worked extremely hard and with nothing but great dedication and sincerity to show. But, as we have seen, who cares. I just don’t think I will be able to listen to their music for quite some time. The feelings that that record represent to me are bittersweet, but for the most part, bittersweet in the best of ways. This circumstance, though, has soured me… and it will be a while yet before I am able to reprocess, reimprint them, as a musical entity, back into a wholly positive and joyful position in my life. For my own sake, I have great sadness for that lack of their music in the future of my life. It is a kind of deep and specific kind of love, sullied.
This is the first I have written of this. It is an important step.
March 23rd, 2012 EDIT:
I am more or less over it. I still can’t listen to the music in exactly the same way, but personal correspondences have rendered their actions acceptable, mostly under the premise that I truly only know one of them, and he fought for our sake, so that in itself is enough. I suppose I cannot idealize the rest to be so noble, for they have no reason to be as such… perhaps?
IN CONTRAST TO LAST YEAR’S THIS TIME OF YEAR THIS YEAR’S THIS TIME OF YEAR IS THE SLOWEST EVER.
LAST YEAR’S THIS TIME OF YEAR = INEXPLICABLY AWESOME AND EFFORTLESS.
THIS YEAR’S THIS TIME OF YEAR = INEXPLICABLY SLOW AND DIFFICULT.
FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
COMPARISON NOTES.
LAST YEAR’S THIS TIME OF YEAR (AND EVERYTHING WAS TRUE), HOROSCOPE FOR FEBRUARY 2011 =
You will love February! It’s a strong and sturdy month that will allow you to make exceptional progress. There will be a remarkable stack-up of planets in Aquarius, including Mars, Neptune, the Sun, and new moon on February 2, sure to get your spirit soaring.
One day later, Mercury will enter Aquarius too, and Mercury, the planet that naturally rules your career, loves to be in that sign, for when there, Mercury is considered “exalted” – the very best place for Mercury to be. Jupiter will be in a position to help Mercury by the end of that week, February 4 and 5, so it’s clear all kind of good news is about to come barreling toward you quickly, dear Sagittarius!
Can you believe it, you will have a total of five heavenly bodies in Aquarius, all air signs, plus Saturn in air sign Libra makes six out of ten in air. Wow, that’s great news! Air signs make your fire element burn more brightly! What’s MORE special is that Jupiter will be in fellow fire sign Aries in perfect angle to your Sun, a huge boost to your confidence and health, and for getting outstanding, rare help from VIPs. In February, you will look, sound, and feel your best, and that says to me that others will respond to you in a very positive way, too. This is your month to make your mark!
You will notice a new feeling in the air as soon as the month begins, at the new moon, February 2. January had focused you on matters related to money, taxes, and earning and other related financial matters. You may have had talks or negotiations lately, and if so, you will be ready to finalize deals in early-to-mid-February.
With so many air planets circulating about, prepare for a deluge of phone calls, emails, and hastily arranged meetings. Your mind will crackle with ideas, and each one will lead you to the next, all very do-able and likely praised by management and clients. February will be an exciting time, for sure! You will be “in your element” and feeling that everything is going your way.
Travel is a strong possibility this month, whether close by early in the month, in February sometime between 2 and 21, or a more distant trip near the full moon, February 19 plus or minus five days.
Sagittarius loves to travel, so this should make you feel excited about all that’s to come. If you do travel early in the month, it may be to see a cousin or sibling, a good time to connect. Your love aspects are beaming brilliantly too, something I will talk more about later in your report, but suffice to say, in early February, Cupid will be behind every tree, bush, and building, waiting to pluck his arrow toward you! Look your best, even when running errands in your neighborhood or visiting close by locations out of town.
If you write, speak, lecture, edit, or do advertising or publicity, this month will shout out your name. You will have plenty to do, that’s for sure, but it looks like you’ll love the work you do. You may have a document, manuscript, or thesis to hand in, or a speech to give. Your name will be “out there” and others will come to you for your opinions.
Planets in Aquarius are all about networking and connecting, so you may be working on your Facebook page or learning Twitter. Or, you may be going to a tradeshow, convention, or conference and mixing with lots of new faces. You may be doing things on a big scale – redoing your company’s website, reporting news on the upcoming fashion shows in New York, Milan, or Paris – or as an individual, simply changing your profile on social media and perhaps uploading some photos. In astrology, you can always do things on a scale that makes sense to you.
Planets are stacking in futuristic Aquarius, and also suggest that digital media will be in the forefront of your mind. You may be ready to “Q and A” (test) a new software program you wrote, start drug trials on a new medicine, launch a new phone app, or see your book come out on Kindle. Alternatively, you may be working on a community, charitable, not-for-profit humanitarian goal, as Aquarius also rules this area of life. Are you a massage therapist, work at a spa, or do astrology? Aquarius ALSO rules these areas. If any of these areas are important to you, you will do doubly well.
ACTUALLY, THAT POST IS PRIVATE, AS IT HAPPENED TO BE MY MOST ROMANTIC CONVERSATION EVER (AT THE TIME), WITH TROY ONE. AT THIS POINT IT’S NOT THAT PRIVATE TO ME ANYMORE SINCE IT IS NO LONGER A THING, SO HERE’S A PART:
V: Sounds like a plan, stanley .
T: For the last time, call me stan!
T: Going to bed you sultry strumpet. I’ll miss you in the morning and in between.
V: Haha you made me laugh out loud with the stan comment. Adorable. Miss you! Sleep wellishly!
T: Brilliant! Sleep wellishly too, when you decide to sleep!
V: Never! By the way these feelings are totally weird but just rolling with it . Haha
T: Weird feelings are the best feelings, and rolling with them is the only way to go about it. I’d kiss you were you here! Goodnight!
THIS YEAR’S THIS TIME OF YEAR (AND EVERYTHING IS TRUE), HOROSCOPE FOR FEBRUARY 2011 =
and it has become harder to get decisions from higher ups. You may have blamed this loss of momentum on the year-end holidays, but that was not the reason. Mars, now touring your tenth house of career fame, honors, and achievement, went retrograde on January 21 and will remain out of phase until April 13.
Even before Mars shut down for a rest late last month, he began to move ever more slowly during December and January, so you will have to be patient. You may see progress in early March, so don’t let up on efforts. You may have to push yourself more to keep motivated, but you do have a good chance of seeing success. Forward ho! Keep those wagon wheels rolling.
If you need a good day for a career effort, choose February 24-28. On Friday, February 24, you will have Jupiter to help you give a fine presentation or interview for a new position similar to the level of the one you had before. Or, if self-employed, you would be able to generate new business on Friday, February 24. (If you work weekends, then by all means, pitch over February 25, your best day.) For negotiations involving large sums of money, choose February 28 when Pluto will signal the Sun.
Early February might be a good time to take a little vacation. The full moon will light your ninth house of distant travel (Leo, 18 degrees) on February 7, so you may leave earlier in the week and be returning home from an exciting location within five days of the full moon. There is nothing like a long trip to put the bounce back in your step! Alternatively, you may finalize a deal with a foreign company, or you may be taking steps to go back to college for an advanced degree. Other matters may be taken care of now too – you may get a passport or green card, or you may finish jury duty. If you work in the media, you may get your book published or an important segment readied for broadcast. Lots of positive things will be happening within four days of February 7.
If your birthday falls on December 9, plus or minus five days, you will benefit most from this lovely full moon, or if you have planets in Sagittarius, Aries, Leo, Gemini, Libra or Aquarius at or very near 18 degrees.
Let’s look at your outlook for romance this month, which seem to have had more twists and turns than a best selling spy thriller. First, the eclipses have had an enormous influence on your love life (or, a business partnership). The first test to your partnership came December 21, 2009, the second one on June 15, 2011, and the third on December 10, 2011. If your birthday falls December 10-23, then you felt one of these eclipses; if your birthday falls in November, you may have noticed changes near November 25, but the eclipse that fell on that day was a positive one that brought opportunity, while the others were more emotional dates, because they were full moons. Depending on what happened as a result of all those eclipses, you may be happy or not-so-happy about love, but in any case, things will improve for your love life in time.
As said earlier, Mars is now retrograde, and Mars is the natural ruler of your fifth house of new love. (The fifth house also rules pregnancy and creativity, so in all these areas, there appear to be delays.) With Mars now looking back, not forward, until April 13, you may see your new relationship stall a little, or you may deliberately slow it down if you feel you’ve pushed it forward too fast. If you want to have a baby, the new moon at the end of the month might trump the retrograde Mars because it is so very fertile – a Pisces, Taurus, and Cancer new moon are often the very best for conception.
Sometimes a retrograde planet will bring a change of mind, so with Mars retrograde in your new love sector, you may decide this person is not for you, or conversely IS for you, despite previous doubts. Still, you need to go slowly. I would not want you to move quickly with the ruler of your house of love in retrograde. Mars rules the expression of physical affection, and so this month and next, you might find that your chemistry together is lacking or completely off. It is also possible that your new love has to travel for work, so you may not see one another at all, and that’s fine – actually, that would be a good manifestation of Mars retrograde.
The happy part about February is that Venus will be in Aries, a fire sign that blends divinely with your Sagittarius Sun, from February 8 to March 5. Venus is not an assertive planet, as Venus teaches the wisdom of sitting back and letting others come to you. This is how Venus got the reputation of being the so-called “lazy planet” – she teaches never to get desperate, to give admirers room to decide they cannot bear to be without you and come to you. Venus will help you use your considerable powers of attraction to bring the right person to you. From February 8 onward, it would be a great time to upgrade your appearance by changing your hair, buying new clothes, and for women, choosing new makeup colors.
If you have no one to love, you have the perfect day for a surprise, chance meeting on February 9, when Venus and Uranus will meet in your fifth house of true love in the adventuresome sign of Aries. This day will be charged with fantastic electric energy! Look your best!
Then, on Valentine’s Day, February 14, lucky you, the moon will be in Sagittarius, favoring you above all others! I like this day because during that entire week, Mercury will be so chatty with other planets, in the most positive way. Mercury rules your seventh house of close, serious relationships, which, of course, includes your spouse, or if dating, the possibility for engagement and marriage.
Here is what is happening that week, and keep in mind there is always an aura around the dates I am giving you, so don’t get stuck on one day. You can add a plus or minus of at least one day. (If you live in Asia, Australia, or other time zone that is 12 hours earlier than the US, then add one day. For example, in Australia, my mention of February 13 becomes February 14.)
February 13: Mercury will combine forces with Neptune, exuding a beautiful aura, just perfect for a week that holds the day for lovers, February 14. (This would not be a day to sign a contract but for love and romance, it’s divine.) On the same day, Saturn will work with Mercury too, so promises in love will be promises kept.
February 16: One of the most wonderful days of the month, when Mercury joins Jupiter, your ruler, in the most optimistic, expansive, happy day to make an agreement or a promise. Give this day three gold stars. Remember, you will feel the growing energy of this day on February 14. You may get an outstandingly generous gift on February 14, 15, or 16. Could it be a diamond?
Now, let’s talk about your home and family situation, which is about to become a huge hub of interest in weeks, months – even possibly years to come!
This month, on February 3, for the first time in your life, Neptune will move into your fourth house of home and is set to stay for fourteen years. Neptune has not been in Pisces since 1847 to 1862. Neptune rules creativity, so you may now become very interested in interior design, art history and furniture design, architecture, home textiles, landscaping, or other elements of home design. It may start with a redo of your apartment or house, and your interest may spread to a desire for an entire career in this area. Or you may be ready for a career switch and have always wanted to delve into this area. If so, Neptune will help give you the inspiration you need to be a success.
For now, you will need to make absolutely sure you have flood and other water damage or gas insurance for your home, whether you own or rent. This is a long trend, fourteen years, and when Neptune shows up, he will want to bring the sea with him into your house. Keep him out. Make sure your windows have secure, tight gaskets around the edge of each window so that the rain can’t ruin your floors. With your aspects, never leave a window open when you go out, and especially when traveling. Change your fire detectors so they’re up to date, with fresh batteries and the newest model, and make sure it has a CO2 detector feature too.
Ask your plumber to check all the pipes in your house to be sure they are in good shape. Once, when I was having my bathroom painted (I love to have my rooms painted frequently), my painter told me one pipe was in bad condition. I immediately invited my superintendent up who said – “You have hours, not days. Call a plumber NOW!” The plumber came later that day, and as he looked at it, it fell apart in his hands by barely touching the pipe. Fortunately, the water was turned off when this happened.
It may not be wise to buy beachfront property in the coming fourteen years. In the future, whenever Neptune will be visited by an angry planet, you could have water-related problems. At the very least, ask neighbors when the last time there was a bad hurricane or other natural disaster that could bring heavy water damage to your neighborhood. Check the safety of the well water, to be sure there are no problems with toxicity. By taking these simple steps, you can keep yourself safe.
Still staying with the topic of home, now let’s look at the month’s beautiful new moon, which just brims with real estate opportunity for you! If you were thinking about moving, you will have one of the best new moons of the year to help you. If you need support from your family, it just might be there if you ask for your favor after the new moon appears.
This home and family-related new moon will appear on February 21 in Pisces, 3 degrees. This new moon is very sweet. It will be in ideal angle to Jupiter, your ruler (which is very significant, for it means this new moon can help you in a bigger way than other signs, because Jupiter is your guardian planet). If you hope to list your house for sale, I would do it beginning February 21. Don’t wait to do so next month, as Mercury will retrograde from March 12 to April 4, not a time to make any important actions. If you act now, keep in mind that Jupiter usually brings money with him wherever he goes – you could make a tidy profit.
Saturn will be very comforting on this new moon February 21 too, which suggests that if you sign a lease or close on a house anytime within a week after this new moon arrives, you are likely to love your decision for many years into the future.
There is one day I just love for you, for home, real estate, or family-related actions, and it is February 25, when the Sun and Jupiter will be in perfect sync. This is a four-star day for signing a lease, closing on a house, assigning contractors, or even for having a party. If you have to make a decision for a parent who needs your assistance, do it on February 25. This works both ways – a parent may be helping YOU. Jupiter is currently visiting your house of work-projects, so if you want to set up a home office this month, I think that’s a great idea. Aim to have it open for business by Saturday, February 25.
There is one more excellent day, when Pluto in Capricorn in your money and wealth house signals the Sun in your house of real estate on Tuesday, February 28. Again, it looks like you’ll have negotiated a good deal, and it would be a perfect day to take action on any sort of home or real estate decision, including the rental of a summer cottage.
Recently your career has picked up speed, and you’ve moved ahead of the rest as one to watch. You will be getting a number of impressive offers, and you may find it to be a bit bewildering to be fussed over. Yet despite your professional popularity, you have yet to find the perfect situation so you may feel in a kind of limbo, not sure which way to go and waiting for the right position to come up.
This will keep up for a while because this condition is related to Mars being retrograde since January 23. The full moon that will occur next month on March 8 may bring talks to a final stage. If not, you will have an even better chance to see things reach a pinnacle point in May or June. Be patient. Once Mars turns direct on April 13 you will see a much brighter professional picture emerge. There is a good chance you will hear upbeat news as soon as next month, however, on or near March 8, the full moon in your professional sector. If you do have an interview, you will need spectacular aspects to help you push things forward – you’ll have that on February 15 and 16 when Mars and Jupiter collaborate. It’s a dazzling two days!
In the meantime, you will be working on projects that you enjoy, and those assignments will have the power to lead you to bigger and better things. Watch what occurs on February 24-February 25 when Jupiter will contact the Sun – the new assignment that comes up could be lucrative and prestigious. Give it all you’ve got!
If you need to ask for a raise, you may want to hold off. Saturn will go retrograde February 7 (and you are already too close to this date as you start the month) and will turn direct June 25. Wait until June or July to ask for best results.
Nothing lifts your spirits quicker than getting a chance to travel, and the full moon, February 7 plus or minus four days, could bring an exciting trip. Because full moons bring things to an end, you may be finishing up a trip at this time. You may travel to view property to buy or rent, visit family, or go for a quick vacation. Although it’s less likely you’d travel for business, either way would be productive and you’d be able to get agreement on the order.
The new moon February 21 will inspire you to make beautiful design changes to your home or outside, to your garden or other landscaping. Neptune, the planet of imagination, will enter Pisces and your home sector for the first time in your lifetime on February 3, to stay for a staggering fourteen years. This is a big trend, and one that may bring your talents for home decorating to new heights, possibly talents you never knew you had. A lucky break could occur in regard to real estate at anytime in the week that follows the new moon, February 21. Within that two-week period that follows the new moon, your best days will occur on February 24-25, or when Pluto speaks to the Sun, February 28.
One word of warning: Neptune is associated with water, and because this planet is setting up shop in your home sector until 2026, it would be advisable to have flood insurance as part of your renter’s / home owner’s insurance package. Guard against any type of water problems, in the full spectrum, including mold, tainted drinking water, leaking roof, or flooding in the basement, as a few of many examples. It’s a protection you may never need, but will be so happy to have if you ever do.
Romance should sparkle brightly! You are one of the most favored of all signs for love! Venus will enter Aries, showering your romance sector with radiance, from February 8 to March 5. Wow, that’s almost all month! One most special day to circle in gold will be February 9, when Venus will link to Uranus, and a chance meeting could happen right around the corner.
Your most romantic dates: February 9 (gold-star), 10, 11, 14, 15, 16, 19, 23, 24, and 25.
You may travel far and wide February 7, plus or minus four days (or be returning then!)
Home and family goals will get a big push at the new moon February 21, plus two weeks.
Neptune will move into Pisces on February 3, 2012 and stay fourteen years. Neptune will encourage your artistic expression at home, in regard to home decorating or architectural design.
Guard against Neptune’s propensity to bring floods or other water-related problems to your home or other property by having the right renter’s or homeowner’s insurance policy now and in the coming years.
Venus in Aries is a wonderful placement for you to encourage new love or enjoy present love, February 8 to March 5.
Watch February 9 as a standout day for romantic experiences! Circle it!
Saturn will go retrograde from February 7 to June 25, not the time to ask for a raise. Wait until late June or July.
A lucrative new project may come to you February 24-26. It could be a big one, thanks to the help you’ll be getting from good fortune Jupiter. Jupiter’s your ruler, so this is worth more to Sagittarius than most other signs!
As for romance, it is good, though there are no extended chat sessions to save and share 
But it is just as cheesy. But it really is getting me down majorly that “work” is really sucking some major ass and things (decisions from higher-ups, seriously) are SLOW AS FUCK. Planning the SXSW showcase last year was the easiest thing on the planet; this year it is the most frustrating thing ever, and that’s with an already wildly successful show under the belt. Last year was complete bullshit that turned into awesome; this year is awesome that is slow to become. AGHHH! I am losing my mind editing videos all day and not enough of other things! I will be glad when all of this is done tomorrow, when it will be thrown out to a crowd of 300-something-people at Holocene, for all to see. Oh man. I am a little nervous, to be sure, as I don’t actually have much in the way of how do you call it, technical skill, but have a vision, I guess.
And one last note.
I LOVE ALDOUS HUXLEY.
I LOVE ALDOUS HUXLEY.
I LOVE ALDOUS HUXLEY.
I LOVE ALDOUS HUXLEY.
I LOVE ALDOUS HUXLEY.
If ever I have a child, he or she will be named Aldous — or Huxley… it’s almost impossible that it won’t be the case. The man is a genius. When I am finished with my first book, the next will take the ideas of Huxley and turn them into a curriculum of sorts. What is the point? What is the point, indeed. I don’t know or fucking care, but I know that I want and want and want to do it. I can’t even begin to explain accurately the way I feel about Aldous Huxley, but let’s just say that reading Huxley’s work, I feel I am reading thoughts from my own mind. Perhaps I am not so great as him, but he is balance; and I read now that his entire mantra, specifically towards the end of his life, was balance — balance between the inner and the outer worlds. And to most people that makes no sense, but it makes so much sense. And his book, Island, supposedly a counterpart to Brave New World, is about utopia rather than dystopia, and it is a tract, rooted in data, rooted in experience, for how to reach utopian society. I must read this book, and I must read it soon. What am I doing? Who knows. What do I want to do? WRITE BOOKS. MAKE VIDEOS.
For the first time since I’ve moved to Portland, I am leaving to go on vacation for a month, and I don’t want to sublet my room. Certainly I could use the money. Certainly. But I am wary of my space being defiled, for once. What changed? I don’t know, but it seems for once that I want to have my space be my space. Hrm. Most interesting. Had another bizarre dream last night as well. I don’t know what is going on with my subconscious.
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