It doesn’t always seem like people are most observant when you’re out and strolling about. Today, though, I was out for only a half-hour span and it seemed different. People were awake and paying attention. Perhaps it was the sunny weather; perhaps it was the full moon last night; perhaps it was THE FUCKING FINDING OF ALIEN DNA $@$@(*#@#&!!
In any case. I took a walk-read and began Oscar Wilde’s The Picture Of Dorian Gray, which will no doubt be a very quick and easy read. I am excited, as most of the books I have been reading as of late are quite challenging, or if not, are not of the particular type I like exactly. This book matches exactly my desires and writing style, kind of, and also had some topics which overlapped with a conversation we had last night at the Swahili house. The conversation was one of half doom and gloom, of what will happen when science and spirituality meet, should they meet, where technology is taking us, etc. Details I forget.
Anyway, back to today. The walk-read led me to a small section of seating outside of the nearby elementary school. There were four benches in a circle, I believe, but one was situated just perfectly for the sun to be shining directly upon me. It was, of course, my choice of seat. I read one chapter and then settled down into a meditation, thinking that no one would really pass, or if they did, that they had better things to pay attention to — since they would likely be joggers or families, and such. That was generally the case, though I spied — through closed eyes — a force that stopped on the sidewalk ahead of me. I felt him to be a photographer, and in fact, two seconds after that a shutter clicked twice. I thought of opening my eyes, to in a sense scare him, as I was not so deep in meditation that I failed to notice his presence, but I decided against it. Continuing the vibration felt more desirable. A few minutes later, another group of guys passed by and were speaking of meditation class. From the distance from which they were talking about meditation, it seemed that they had already be speaking about that topic, though I can’t be sure. Soon thereafter, I finished meditating, opened my eyes, and looked directly onto a house porch to my left — for no particular reason — and saw a photographer there. I am unsure whether it is the same photographer, as he was not trained on me at this point and I had not heard a shutter click since the original two. The initial shutter I had heard was one I considered unmistakably from a film camera; this man held a digital camera.
I went to the supermarket and returned. On my way back, while I was reading and walking, two men on a porch caught a glimpse of my bookmark, and one made a mention about how it was a BART ticket. This statement sunk in too late, as I was already passing the next house and bushes had already blocked my view of the observer, but I marveled! I marveled at how people were actually awake, actually paying attention…! It seems rare, it seems rare. It seems rare?
Troy bought me a pair of headphones as a present; they are the same ones that he mixes in the studio with. They are apparently not amazing, but I have not possessed headphones for quite some time now, and it was very sweet of him to buy them for me, simply for desiring to buy me a present, and I imagine, because I am a poor ass motherfucker. He had been speaking some time now of dropping a present upon me such as these; I had not expected it to actually happen. He has a good chance of getting a new job tomorrow, and he just sold his van today for 1.7k. It’s less than expected or desired, but it’s something, anyway.
I feel like a bit of a butthead the past few days, and I’ll have to apologize to him tonight. I am going through some emotional weirdnesses, but I think they’re tapering off. I just don’t want to be shitty about them. Meow. Mrawr. I’m trying to regulate a lot of contrasts between mind and spirit, I guess, and trying to figure out what the optimal amount of time we should spend together is. Because I can spend lots of time, but I get bummed sometimes when that is the case because I feel I am neglecting myself; yet, at the same time, those are times I want, and the main question in my heart at those times is what IS actually best for us? It’s hard to tell.
At least DJ Doc is awesome? I dunno, shit. I think I am done with this post, and generally glad to be getting back into the swing of writing regularly and all that. Time to paint my nails. Oh, right, and I took out my lip ring. I guess I’m aimed to grow up, just a tiny bit, just a fraction. Maybe? I dunno. Time to check be in on my job interview again tomorrow. This week begins the madness, tons of shows, tons of stuff, tons of shows!!
We have an infestation of little fucking moth ass bitches. It is amazingly obnoxious. I just killed three in, I want to say, the past hour? Punch them in the face want! Nick’s girlfriend Sasha said they were boll weevils. They are not boll weevils. They are definitely moths, or at least something related to moths. Some definitely worm-babied on my rice; I ate it anyway cause I kinda don’t care because that shit gets boiled anyway 
It is annoying as shit, though!!
If I don’t get the job this week, I may go to Hong Kong next month for Joe’s wedding, with a stopover in either China or Korea. I’m unsure. I want to leave and do not. But I can’t let free trips out of sight, now can I? That would be downright foolish.
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