first chance to write since sxsw and i think only the second for the entire trip. certainly not the only time i have desired to; it just never quite works out correctly. this is the day after my sxsw showcase, when i am waiting in a parking lot of food carts — almost all of which are disgustingly meat-and-bbq-related, and yup, just waiting! it’s cool. last night’s show was a success — a great and extremely positively-vibed experience with not one band i did not desire or respect the work of. it feels good that at each of the events i thorw lately, people say that it is the best event they’ve been to in a long time. shit, it feels good! was also cool to literally only go to one sxsw show, austin psych fest, and see a bunch of people i know — ryat, woodsman, midday veil — just all converging in a small space! nice! tried to meet up with chris a whole bunch but it never worked out… hopefully will start to throw some shows with emily in seattle in the near future. lots of plans. also stoked the swahili dudes got to buddy up with young magic; they seem extremely awesome and nice. lumerians also killed it so hard and had a projector they projected on the side of the house. wherever, really. and it looked doooooope.
thickness of skin with relation to relationship stuf and dealing with my emotions with relation to having to see all of that, harboring secret contempt, not being bitter about perspective, but at the same time, knowing that some things are not just perspective but truth. it’s hard. that sentence made no sense, but whatever. had a dream the other night that i told troy, “fuck you,” and it was really intense, and i knew that there was contempt and the issue needed to be addressed…
Made it all the way to the public lands for the internet, but I’m in no mood for this! No mood at all for sitting in front of technology and machines, much prefer to sit down with a book in the sunshine. I am needing always to leave my house in express search for the internet but always lethargic to leave. I believe that the lethargy lies in my wanting to stay at home, but I realize now that the lethargy lies in my not wanting to use the internet, though I initially am so convinced that I do do desire it. It’s that Protestant work ethic Protestants so love to brag about having that encourages this nebulous desire — only in this case, I guess it is a Sagittarian need to accomplish, a Chinese-American discontent for sitting idly by.
At least this time I didn’t have to pay for the internet via coffee! I’ve stolen the internet by sitting outside! And then I will whisk away before anyone catches on, wa-ha-ha!
In part I do not want to be on the internet because there is so much vagueness, so much uncertainty and waiting for responses from people. At least the initial SXSW show has been booked; this is a great relief. But that is only the beginning, as it is looking more and more that the route I am taking to arrive in Austin seem to be not well-planned. And it will be brutal — with little sleep and without even a seat. I am worried about the border control pit stops that are now so prevalent in southern New Mexico and Arizona. And apparently West Texas? Will these hillbillies be stopping us on our way out? Is there any sense in worrying about those things before they happen? I know only that we — the collective Swahili we — certainly can’t afford to be fined and I can’t afford to be late to my own show, if indeed there is to be any delay because of border control. I’m not sure what to do. But I do know that we have a show on the 13th in San Diego, and that we will need to leave immediately afterwards to head to Austin. It’s a 20-hour drive, and that is barring any stops. We need to be there by 3:00pm on the 15th. Say we leave at 7:00am on the 14th; even if we drove straight through we would arrive at inconvenient times. I worry for the sake of other people’s shows, not for mine, as that day it matters not. BLEGH. I guess we will deal with these hurdles when we get there? Maybe? But already I am completely exhausted by these unresolved issues, which just add more weight to my other unresolved issues. I hate lack of resolution. And it is unfortunate that the videos I slaved over so laboriously will likely be seen by no one; they are a complete waste of time… a waste, a waste… so much time, wasted.
I am surprisingly excited for this month, which will prove both exciting and torturous, to be sure, to be over even though it has just begun.
It is supposed to be a month of great things for me, though… I suppose I am just nervous. That, along with miscellaneous health ambiguities, are leaving me chomping on my own nerves.
Again, with the bubbles, rising up, porous, pouring into my brainspace. Again, with the flashes beack to memories, of conversations that strike and struck me as so charmed… so irresistibly charmed. I was walking on Cloud 9. I was indescribably elated.
This year, as March nears… I am reminded of the days and the phone calls I made, and the texts I wrote, and the seconds where I felt a flowing away of energy, from him. Unmentionable. Moments standing in the SXSW venue after my wildly successful show, ringing im, ringing him over and over, to celebrate my success, my greatest success. And finally he answered, and we spoke, and I went to bed, elated, and I went to bed elated, elated, elated. How was it viewed from the other side, I ask myself sometimes. Did the intensity suddenly become too much simply because it was set in a framework of a repeating phone call? That classic example of psychosis and fever-stricken love?… yes, as mid-March nears, I realize that at the same time last year, I would have been at around the same place I will be this year, with around the same people. Give or take a few of the new closest and most vital. But they are new, and the memories which are old still lie dormant, except for moments like this when I am passing in and out of consciousness on a long bus ride, most of the thoughts full of ideas for the future, but a couple thoughts memories from the past.
Just now, I recalled conversations from work today, where I drug up a memory of going to Southern California to eat good Chinese food. It was because of lunch today. Eating Chinese food in the company of others always brings me back closer to my roots, reminds me that I should appreciate more my heritage, that I should more embrace it, more readily, more tangibly, more frequently. And then it reminded me of when he and I spoke about his working for a Chinese company, of his being given long lists of Chinese names to read and learning the nuances of them as the only non-Asian person in the office. He tickled me. He still tickles me. And I don’t know what the sentiments are that I feel – whether they are remnants of feelings, regrets, or nostalgia. Probably a mix of all of the above. Why does my mind always go there lately, and with so much frequency? The dreams lead to the nagging dread and simultaneous hope of seeing him again. And his Pisces astrology for this maddening year for Pisces and astrology leads me to wonder if he will birth anew this season and find himself – and find myself as a result of finding himself. I am used to people returning, of people saying sorry for their destructive habits – and I wonder if he too will return. And when and if he does, how will I respond, I wonder?
I’m wondering now about the privacy. This is all an open forum. I speak in the abstract but it is hardly abstract at all. I wonder if certain individuals who should probably not be reading this as they no doubt would know they are exactly the individuals being described… I wonder if they are… reading this. I suppose it matters not. Frankness in a public forum is done for that specific intention. The intention of baring all in the name of who gives a fuck.
As of this past weekend, I feel successful. I was in Seattle for the past week for work, which was fine and dandy. It took me a second to warm up to it, feeling insecure of myself, perhaps, because I am not openly the most friendly or the best at sitting around at bullshitting. No bullshit. But these things take time. When I moved on found confidence in myself as not a complete weirdo but a person of worth, things were better. And part of that discovery, or temporary re-discovery, one should say, was due to conversations with musical friends in Seattle. And being reminded that the wkI do with REDEFINE is more than just completely useless. After Intuitive Navigation last year, Adam from Billions And Billions had said that it was, “Probably the coolest event of the year.” John said that he knew I was capable of accomplishing shit but not that kind of shit. Two nights ago, Emily said that Intuitive Navigation was probably a show she would look back on as a notable high point for the band. These words… they feel good. They feel human. And they come from humans who are affected, who are touched, who are musicians who understand what it is to work for no appreciation and to question your own motives and follow-through while in the midst of creating. I am no musician, but I feel this… this self-doubt creeping in and sometimes crippling. But whereas with musicians it translates as an occasional sale, or a smile or a thank you from a fan after a show, running a magazine is a bit thankless. And it is only when I throw shows that bring in individuals from multiple walks of life and create a safe space for everyone to come into contact with people they probably would otherwise avoid… it’s when I do this for the magazine that I actually feel like I am making a difference. Perhaps I am spoiled, madly spoiled, as I know that there are regulars that come to my site repeatedly, on a daily basis. Yet I am not satisfied. Will never be satisfied. Will never settle for mediocrity because it’s easy. I want better. I want more. And not in a greedy sense, necessarily, but because I believe it. I believe that cross-pollination can change lives, that education through shared and diverse experiences – rather than closed-minded “this-is-my-corner; that-is-your-corner” thumb-twiddling idiocy – is the answer. And it’s weird, and I feel weird, so weird to be so powerfully into this notion that I am pushing myself and driving myself like some silly jackhammer without a brain save for a brain of accomplishing the tasks at hand. Sometimes it feels like that. Sometimes it feels like the things that must be done are so ridiculously vast that they are not actually tangible. They are edgeless shapes with blurry edges that evade grasping. They are virtually clouds. And when they are clouds is when they most expand to take up great brain space. Great hazy brain space.
I guess the days that work are when the great hazy brain space fog becomes visible for what it actually is. Small particles of manageable size. Today I feel I see the miniscule. At least, more than I feel I have for the past month. The ideas are here. They have descended. It is not like this time last year where they were desirable but also difficult. These are desired! Exceptionally desired, right now. I am glad to crawl out of the hole for a minute, again. This year is beginning a bit rougher than last year already. But it is not going to remain that way. Not if I can help it. I feel I am on the up-and-up. Welcome, full mind. Goodbye, car sickness. This ends here. I love, I love. All incarnations.
i think the first time i really knew that i liked troy, for real, was when we were at the shpongle show. i don’t know what we were discussing, but his answer to some bit of perhaps unconventional unselfish behavior was, “i don’t know, i just really care about people.” or something to that effect. it’s too cute.
i just realized just now that our 6-month anniversary just passed, and we didn’t make a deal of it! ah, well. also, unrelated: their next record is going to totally rule…
i am reminded of this because i am going through my things and i’ve found some notices… three “talk to us” signs, one that says, “i want to encourage cross-disciplinary collabz.” (from new york and the whole wall street protest), and lastly, this poem. this is from when i was volunteering at helen swindell’s. i am a bit regretful that i went on my travels and then just stopped going there altogether. i had many people who i felt bonded to, but it just became a matter of whether i wanted to sacrifice my personal time for it. it’s selfish. and i feel bad, now. maybe sometime soon i will be able to start it up again, but at the heart of it was that, while i enjoyed my time there very much, there ended up being like three volunteers at any given time, and it felt unnecessary. i will say, though, at the time, that i felt like i had more real conversation with the residents there… ah, i’m sad. there are a few people i namely miss, which are:
- darcy, a lesbian lady who got stabbed and got her stomach ripped open to the point that they were hanging out;
- chris, the guy with whom i co-wrote the poem below… dude was always happy and encouraging smiles, and was really metaphysical and cosmic and out there and wanted to be some sort of counselor;
- ____, who i often discussed matters of space with;
- j___, who had formerly lived in hawaii and japan for a long time, and would always say konichiwa to me and minor japanese phrases (he knew i wasn’t japanese but knew that i knew some…) and took the only photo of myself at helen swindell’s that there is, and he had me draw an image for him or something which he kept;
- john, who always was teasing and giving shit and looked — strange to say — typically veteran-y, and always wore a cap! man, he gave so much shit, and was always saying how i was a trouble-maker…
- ____, who i somehow forget the face of now, which is crazy…! but he was definitely one that i enjoyed speaking with most… i had referenced him before, as i had discussed many things related to psychedelia and time-space with him…
it was just so interesting… all of them were so interesting, such remnants of the ’60s… i wish i could commit more. maybe soon when the weather is warmer…
here’s the joint poem i wrote with chris:
i can’t wait for the weather to get warmer again; i should really do “talk to us” again… i hadn’t written about this, but there were definitely girls (2) at the wall st. protest who had “talk to us” signs, and i directed them to my website and told them it was something that i did. i should really update i love social experiments with my new data…
anyway, in other news. pretty much been busy planning our sxsw show. here’s my initial teaser flyer for it…
gina and i spent the afternoon today holed up at pied cow, basically just writing letters. the primary aim was to write to caroline casey, the lady who gave us the venusian love ritual that we practiced, but i ended up writing back to a lot of people. it felt good to write, and kinda maddening to realize that man, do the hands get tired easy, simply because that stuff never happens anymore
i have a lot to write about. i was mulling over today that after sxsw — since i am touring with swahili — that i think i want to spend some time traveling or staying in california… since tour is two weeks+, it would be nice to be able to sublet out my room for that month and save that money. but i don’t know yet where i would go; the only place i kinda wanna go is new mexico, but last time, that become rather uncomfortable, so who knows… and i’m trying to save up money for spain and portugal in july, and i guess burning man in august, so it seems unlikely that i’ll be able to do all of the traveling that i actually wanna do. blOorg. i suppose if some cheap ass plane tickets to go to some south american country pop up between now and april, that that might need to be what happens. if not, probably a train or bus from reno to the bay area post-sxsw, for a couple weeks of mad work action. i don’t know, i don’t know, i don’t know.
i was discussing these plans and desires yesterday with troy, and he was apologizing for being a boyfriend that doesn’t have the money to travel. i told him it was fine; i don’t realistically expect anyone to be able to keep up with me in terms of traveling money and time. it doesn’t bother me… i just –need– to nomad life it, though… it’s already been way too long (like half a year… well i suppose it was only since october, so like, 5 months)… but i’m already feeling a bit mad and need to go somewhere really bad! and i guess i have been to california a couple times in that duration, but it’s not the same. the desire to travel is incessant, it’s crazy… :L but yeah, he was surprised that it didn’t bother me that he couldn’t afford to travel and said i am repeatedly “the first” but to me it’s just… it’s fine, because it’s realistic that other people can’t??? i dunno.
anyway…
we went to tao of tea tonight and drank this pine-smoked black tea. dude, it was so amazing. but it caffeinated me to the point of insanity! i’ve boycotted coffee and i feel wayyyy better, but it makes me feel nuts to drink hugely caffeinated stuff now. interesting.
ah, so much to do. i can’t decide WHAT to do. there’s just too much.
i gotta get to recording snippets from this:
it maybe seems a bit ridiculous, but this book “came to me” through a series of dreams, and like we all know, i really trust dreams. the first dream told me that i needed to look into learning about alchemy; it wasn’t so overt, but it was just the notion that i woke up thinking. i don’t remember anything else from the dream. a few days later, i was dream-land told that i should look into egypt. again, i don’t really know anything about it. that was when sherry was in town, though, and i took her to powell’s that day. i looked in the alchemy section — there barely is one — and there was ONE book about egypt. i saw it and thought it was totally incredibly ridiculous and could barely believe that THAT was the book i would “need” to read, but seriously, there was nothing else even remotely calling to me. so i was like, well, fuck, here it is.
what this book is is a series of meditations and visualizations that basically take you to deconstructing and rebuilding yourself. i had originally given myself a loose deadline of “finishing this” project by the end of april, but it has since changed, since troy asked me last week if i wanted to go to portland evolver meeting. legitimately, the evolver meeting we went to was totally fucking whack. however… coming up:
> Wednesday, February 22nd — Linda Star Wolf Evolver talk on “Visionary Shamanism”
linda star wolf is one of the authors of the egyptian shamanism book. it is WAY too much of a coincidence that she is coming, so i’m definitely going to: 1) record all of the meditations by the end of this month, preferably by the 23rd; 2) at least start to do the meditations, and ideally finish them, by february 22nd, so that i can talk to her about them.
i dunno what it’s going to yield. we will see. when sherry was here on my birthday, she was TOTALLY engrossed in that book and spent the whole of the evening almost reading it. yet, while she seems to find those things fascinating, i think she’s scared of them; i bought carl jung’s man and his symbols for her for christmas, and, as far as i know, she hasn’t delved into it yet. i think she’s kind of scared, and i asked her if that was the case, and she said yes. i think that books like that stir up the unconscious in a scary way, but i think sherry is totally ripe for it. i am sending her my book on monday. i sincerely hope that the book plants the seed that will cause her to read jung’s man and his symbols… i dunno what the fuck kind of “work” i am doing, but whatever it is, it feel really, important.
last couple notes, again relating to literature: evolver’s kent had mentioned this book >>>
and that is exactly the kind of mapping work i want to start doing. synopsis:
From a philosopher whose magisterial history of Western thought was praised by Joseph Campbell and Huston Smith comes a brilliant new book that traces the connection between cosmic cycles and archetypal patterns of human experience. Drawing on years of research and on thinkers from Plato to Jung, Richard Tarnas explores the planetary correlations of epochal events like the French Revolution, the two world wars, and September 11. Whether read as astrology updated for the quantum age or as a contemporary classic of spirituality, Cosmos and Psyche is a work of immense sophistication, deep learning, and lasting importance.
i can’t wait i can’t wait! i can’t wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
blahblahblah. what else. man, there’s so much. but seriously, all i wanna do is write books.
but i just recently finally dropped the $45 to buy this fucking book that changed my life (i originally read it from shawn but the book is SUPER fragile and i can’t look at his anymore, especially since it was from his grandfather, and the binding is really fragile… and this book is fucking IMPOSSIBLE to find… it’s ridiculous):
i am definitely wanting to use it as a primer for how to solve the social problems of the world. tis going to require a shit ton of research and effort, but like i said… all i seriously want to do now is write books… sample from ends and means (that has made it into my book):
In the contemporary world there are two classes of bad plans — the plans invented and put into practice by men who do not accept our ideal postulates, and the plans invented and put into practice by the men who accept them, but imagine that the ends proposed by the prophets can be achieved by wicked or unsuitable means. Hell is paved with good intentions, and it is probable that plans made by well-meaning people of the second class may have results no less disastrous than plans made by the evil-intentioned people of the first class. Which only shows, yet once more, how right the Buddha was in classing unawareness and stupidity among the deadly sins.
i can’t wait i can’t wait i can’t wait. i woke up this morning and all i could think was:
I had the luxury this week of taking an incredible duration of time to explore myself and my psyche. During the early parts of the week (March 21st, to be exact) and until early Friday morning (March 25th), critical thought was not entirely present… not that it was particularly lacking, but I was CouchSurfing at the time, or else traveling on busses and trains, and just generally exhausted from never getting that great a night’s sleep. From March 25th through March 28th, I rented a car. I must say that the amount of thinking this afforded me resulted in a lot of interesting thoughts, and I have generally emerged from this with some lessons learnt… whether for better or for worse… generally for better, I suppose, in the long run, though right at this very moment, I am at the Albuquerque airport, feeling like I am in some kind of purgatorial hell of my own creation. What I have, most of all, is all of the time ever to wait and to wait and to wait and to wait. That may be the number one lesson I’ve learned through this week’s-long adventure in New Mexico (with 3/4 of a day in Colorado)… and that is the importance of patience, patience, patience.
(Side note: there is this weird shop in this airport that is selling flavored popcorns with the weirdest flavors ever — including green apple-flavored popcorn. Though I was intending to snack on all of the existing food I had in my bag, I realized I had less food than I thought, and am actually slightly short of snackable foods for dinner, and it is only 4:00pm, and I will be flying through midnight! So, I’d really love to try that weird ass popcorn, but not enough to buy a giant bag for $4.00… I should probably eat a piece of fruit or some broccoli instead. We’ll see what is affordable and not too unhealthy…)
Anyway. I’m going to jump backwards in time and try to recap this past week as best as possible. This will be recapped out of order, and I will temporarily forgo writing about Israeli and Jordanian adventures, as well as writing about my SXSW experience of mega-weirdness this year. I suppose the New Mexico trip feels more immediate, and is therefore easier to write about, and so I’m going to do that, presently.
—
Sunday, March 20th, 2011.
Road-tripped into town with P.Rama (details on that later), from Marfa, Texas. More details on Sunday, as Sunday was pretty extraordinary. I got a CouchSurfing host in Las Cruces, though, and waited outside their apartment for a couple hours for them to get home. I believe I got woken up by sounds of sexy-fun-times a couple times. Which is never particularly pleasant…
—
Monday, March 21st, 2011
Woke up and hung with the roomies a little bit, and then walked around. Had a buncha my stuff but left some at the apartment. Made up half a mind to go to Mesilla, New Mexico, which is a small, quaint little historic old town that is practically part of Las Cruces (though technically not). Anyway. Not too much to speak of here though I had my first New Mexico meal there. It was fairly good, though not astoundingly so. My two other New Mexican meals later on would prove to be much more delicious. Before I went to lunch, though, I did have a really nice conversation with this Japanese guy (or at least he was partially Japanese, as his name was Takeshi) who worked at the Visitor’s Center. I don’t think he could have been more excited to discuss the area. He was originally from the Bay Area, and we talked about things like housing costs and general history of the area… yadda yadda.
Another thing worth noting here was my experience at the Mesilla Cultural Center. I basically stayed in there for a couple hours and stumbled upon it on a completely random whim. I mean… as happens. Wasn’t even entirely planning to go down the street that I did go down to get there, but I’m glad I did. I got there and there were people — the director of the place and another guy — working on some upcoming festival they were having that is supposedly kind of a big deal. They immediately made me feel at home, in a rather formal way, but I poked around while they discussed business. Lots of Native American literature, and lots of just kinda metaphysical and mystical stuff, in general. As well as a lot of non-fiction by a lot of famous (?) female authors. It was a good time. In any case, the volunteer guy who was in there left, and I was left to talk with the director. I felt like she had the kind of human spirit that would be into something like this, so I asked her to suggest me a book based on what she knew of me. I will admit that she did give me a whole slew of books initially… except I’ve been rather into poetry lately, so I had it in my mind that I wanted a poetry book, despite the fact that I didn’t say it outright. Eventually, she fed me some super delicious super traditionally Mexican coffee (which leads me to remember an experience on our Israel / Jordan tour when people wouldn’t drink coffee offered by store owners because they were seriously afraid of being drugged… fucking ridiculous) and I skimmed through a stack of books. Frankly, the only one that –really– appealed to me was this book by Joy Harjo, entitled In Mad Love And War. The director lady who suggested the book put on a traditional Native American record as I was skimming through this stack of books, and later said that she knew I was going to pick this particular book and that is why she had put on the Native music. Whether that is truly true or not is uncertain, but I suppose it doesn’t matter anyway. I typed out a poem in my last entry, but man, did this book speak to me. On so many levels, at the moment… I intended for it to be a birthday present, but I am no longer feeling the magic of that action. I am, however, still in love with the book, and as I have been reading it the past couple days, I have not been able to deny the feeling I have… of just being pretty much astounded… that this book was introduced to me. And that it is so very fitting of my emotions, of my mental state… of my writing preferences. Particularly in poetry. I’m extremely specific about poetry, and very little of it actually riles me up in any meaningful or excited manner. But nearly everything in this book just feels so very clever… anyway. I gave her one of the many bracelets I made for my REDEFINE SXSW show (which I never did end up distributing because I was a madwoman) — which say, “I am a note of the cosmic music + I will go on vibrating forever.” Hippie dippie, but it simply seemed so very appropriate…
Later that evening, I returned to Las Cruces. Just down the street. Spent some time using the internet at WHATABURGER simply because I thought it was the funniest notion ever, but WHATABURGER was not nearly the eavesdropping gold mine that I had hoped it would be. Unfortunate. Later that night, there was a pretty good Burger Records show at the Railyard in Las Cruces, which is a pretty rad hole-in-the-wall venue that is super DIY… hell, they weren’t even charging to let people in, which was nice, and people seriously brought their own 24-packs of beer. And everyone got mega-trashed, and people in Las Cruces (perhaps because it was college break, even) party it the fuck up. There were some ridiculously drunk people, and the general vibe was rowdy as shit. The main attraction was, for me, Thee Oh Sees… and they certainly lived up to the garage rock legendary reputation they have. As for the other bands… I was into them initially, but there were six garage rock bands in total, and by the third, I no longer gave a shit, and it was slight torture to wait out the rest.
Here’s what I wrote in my iPod while being bored by those bands:
“garage rock is becoming rather pointless, a next installment in punk rock, a simplistic outlet that is enjoyable only in the short term, easy to sway to, easy to play, but the ultimate in definiting the ever-growing detritus that is music journalism. how does one continue to write about these bands that may be solid… ish… yet are so very much alike that there is very little setting them apart, save for general charisma? on a 7-band garage rock bill this reality of musical limitation and stagnation and general pointlessness becomes ever-painfully apparent, and moreso with every word shouted through a distorted mic.”
Some funny moments during that particular evening, though, in the form of serendipity… as happens:
[1] A guy — who turned out to be one of my CouchSurfing host’s ex-boyfriends — came up to me when I first walked in and was like, “Excuse me, were you just at a house party in Austin??” Turns out he was at our house show at SXSW because someone had recommended that he go see Moon Duo. Fucking crazy…;
[2] A friend of a friend who I was introduced to, named Aimee (maybe not that exact spelling, but something just as unusual)… knows James Ward, who was from North Carolina, and had stayed on our couch for a while with Jay and Clare… crazy… small world…;
[3] Later that night, when we got back to the CouchSurfers’ place, they had three other dudes there, and they had all just come back from SXSW… and I asked them what the best show they saw was… and they said Casiokids… and I asked where… and they said at one of the housing co-ops near campus… and I was like, “THAT WAS MY SHOW!!!!” … life is crazy… the craziest bag of bullshit… who can even begin to understand…
—
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011
The next day, I got an early ride from Neeshia (who is really awesome and let me sleep in her bed!!) to the Greyhound station, as fucking Las Cruces practically has no bus service. Which is ridiculous, considering it’s a college town… but everyone has their own cars, I guuuuuuessss. (Side note: I want to punch myself in the face right now…)… in any case. I took the bus to Albuquerque. Along the way, there was a “security stop” near Alamogordo, which is where White Sands is-ish. There was a security checkpoint when Koury, Kevin, Tim, and I went through last year for Cash Only, but we didn’t get stopped. We did this time, and security agents came aboard to check everyone’s passports. Felt like when we were in fucking Israel, coming from Palestine to Israel. I mean, same fucking shit, which is INSANE. In any case, they basically checked the identification of all Mexicanos, and it is blatantly racist as shit, as they literally looked at me and the white girl next to me, and were like, “You guys are American citizens, right?” I mean… how the shit do they even distinguish? Does a fifth-generation Mexican-American have to undergo the same kind of racial profiling? I’ll bet he or she does, and that fucking sucks…
Anyway. Got to Albuquerque, and it was fairly late in the day. Right off the bat, some Native guy gave me a bus pass for the entire day… so I saved two bucks, which was really nice. My impression of New Mexicans and their friendliness is solidly through the roof! Good feelings only.
Went to my CouchSurfer Jennifer’s place after taking a romp through a nearby supermarket. It’s kinda funny… I asked some lady with a car where the nearest supermarket was, and she told me it was MILES away. So I declined to go there and headed towards downtown to find one… which I didn’t. Turns out it was less than a mile from Jennifer’s house, and it took me like, fifteen minutes to walk to. Always funny to ask people who drive about directions and distances, cause they often have no fucking clue…
Hanging out with Jennifer was really awesome. I am only her third CSer in the past year, so I’m totally stoked I got to stay with her. We have somewhat overlapping interests… she is quite starry-eyed and cosmic, into gem healing and tarot and other dimensions and ghosts and all sorts of those kinds of things. I am into those things — to a lesser degree, particularly because I have less direct experience with it, too — but it was a lot of really good conversation and getting to see some parts of Albuquerque I haven’t seen before. At the very least, it was WAY better than when we rolled through last year… I mean, what Kevin had to say about Albuquerque last year was: New Mexico Your Bringing Me Down [sic]. This year, for me, it was way better. Apparently, only the downtown is weird, and the other parts are A-OK… particularly the University area. Good to know. Anyway.
Jennifer and I went to this free local film thing put on by Local Q, and while they were making these super amateur announcements at the very beginning, I expected the whole showcase to be pretty downright bad, but there were actually pretty solid films… there was a web series called INDIE which was pretty funny, as was this one really cool short film about eco-friendliness… I forget the name now, but maybe I’ll fill it in later… afterwards, we went to Flying Star in downtown Albuquerque. Flying Stars are a series of 24-hour (or similarly late-opening) diners that serve really amazing dessert (I stole some of Jennifer’s bread pudding, and it RULED) and nice, organic food. It has Wi-Fi, too. Pretty cool place, and I wholly intended to go back to one of them when I returned to Albuquerque, but as it turns out, I didn’t return to Albuquerque in any significant way (more on that later).
One of the things Jennifer and I talked a lot about was past-life regression. I got it in my mind that I would go to this place called Crystal Dove on my subsequent return to Albuquerque. I thought maybe I’d get a past-life regression tarot reading, just cause I’ve been interested in that shit lately and it’s really expensive… more on that later, too…
Later that night, we just chatted, and I slept on a hard wood floor. It wasn’t the most relaxing experience… and it marked the beginning of a series of communication-related feelings of anxiety I would have that would prolong towards the next week, to the present, to the who-knows-how-long-of-a-lasting-duration… these days are long…
—
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011
Off to Santa Fe. Took the RailRunner, which goes back and forth between Santa Fe and Albuquerque. Got in at noon. Rob from CouchSurfing picked me up on his lunch break and took me to his parents’ place in the suburbs, which is where he was staying for the week since his parents were out of town! He had barely worked that day, I guess, but we still went to eat lunch. I wasn’t even hungry, but I ended up eating an entire plate of food — best of which was this fucking guacamole taco. Sounds ridiculous, but it was SO EFFING GOOD. I seriously was… astounded… by the fact that something like that could be as delicious as it was. I mean, it sounds like peasant food!! Peasantly!!!
Anyway. While he went to work, I walked around downtown Santa Fe. There honestly is some solid arting there!! A lot of money in that town, though, from lord knows where. I also camped out at a bookstore for a while using their internet, til I was kicked out… but it was my first time REALLY using internet in a while, so it was super nice. And the workers were really kind of fun hipster dudes. Think the bookstore was called CW bookstore or something.
We went back to Rob’s place after he got off work (he seriously barely worked that day… but he is a lucky dude with lots of remote work, like me!!!) and unwound for a sec. Then we headed back out to eat pizza with his friends… only I just drank an ice coffee (no beers or pizza for me, in the interests of watching my figure — I had just eaten a huge amount of Mexican food that morning!!!!! — and just generally saving money). Afterwards, we went to a bar to drink margaritas, but again, I abstained… it was nice, though, and Rob had recently gone to Africa for three and a half months on a crazy road trip… and he had the craziest stories, one of which involved nearly being thrown in jail in Zimbabwe because he didn’t have gas and were trying to cross the border into another country in a “stolen” car, since the van they were driving didn’t have proper documentation, I guess. He was working his entire Africa trip, though, using a satellite internet connection… which I didn’t even know existed… but how crazy, right? You can be in the fucking African bush and still online — granted it costeth a fair amount of $$$$$$$$… but yeah, I guess his van broke down a million, zillion times, and they thought they’d nearly be killed a couple times… but luckily everything worked out for the best! Yay!
On the way home, he and I had a super funny conversation about Jesus and Indian food… with the two topics beginning individually but later — yes — actually intertwining. Good times…
More on New Mexico later. It’s time to get ready to board my fucking flight to Seattle from Albuquerque, motherfucker.
wednesday, march 16th @ red 7
secretly canadian show
>>
thursday, march 17 @ cheer up charlies
12:00pm… free food… text adam of mute — 505-400-5283
… eric’s thing… stay posi…
beer shit.
8:00pm… line up for prestbyterian church for all things good n ss-b
>>>
friday, march 18th
ussss
>>>
saturday, march 19th
11:30am… meet leslie hermelin for lunch/ argh?
… morning teleportation thing
8:50pm – 3/19/2011 – Austin, TX @ SXSW – Mess With Texas @ 1001 E. 6th Street – 8:50pm
12:00am…
03.19.11 Sat Austin, Texas. Brave New Books
Combined set w/ Sun Araw
i’m listening to… colin stetson’s New History Warfare Vol. 2: Judges — it’s crazy fucking saxophone music. pretty cool but this particular song is making me kind of crazy (one can only handle so much crazy ass saxophone music at once).
quick summary of the past couple days:
- robby just gave me a tape of denton bands that he made me for my birthday! i only write this first because it’s sitting right next to me.
- got a sxsw venue, it looks like, to throw a show for the first time ever. more details forthcoming, but if all things go as planned, it’s going to be pretty sick.
- got a couple new writers for redefine. heck yes.
- protested at an anti-abortion parade (puny, at 60 people), where people made signs and danced to a boom box (including ace of base). funny things related to that:
a) i went into planned parenthood to ask for a marker because i didn’t necessarily like what my sign said. i asked, “do you guys have a marker?” and the lady at the reception said no. then i asked, “can i borrow a pen, then?” and she’s like, “what are you doing, exactly?” and i told her we were there to support planned parenthood, and she’s like, “OH, OF COURSE I HAVE A MARKER!” and threw a sharpie at me. i lost the sharpie five minutes after going outside. i still don’t understand where the fuck it went… unreal…
b) there was a lady with a sign that said something like, “planned parenthood hurts blacks,” and i was like, “what the fuck? i need to know what this is about.” so i asked her, and she told me that three times more black babies are aborted than white babies… which, even if true, is hardly… proof… anyway, she said that planned parenthood hates blacks and that its founder (margaret sanger) hated black people and was racist and was trying to kill them all through abortion. she gave me a huge newspaper thing. you can search for stuff regarding it, but the websites are rather flawed and use hilarious logic, like, “Blacks make up 12% of the population, but 35% of the abortions in America. Are we being targeted? Isn’t that genocide?” hilarity.
c) i went to a party at dan [s]‘s that night, and randomly started talking to this guy named nathan. nathan and i just started talking immediately about, “what did you do today?” even though i’d never met him before, and he told me about his day, and i told him about mine and said that i went to a pro-life rally to protest, and told him that the signs we made said, “honk if you’re pro-choice,” but i guess he had already assumed that i was pro-life or something, and was just like, “i don’t… really… agree with that politically.” and i was just thinking, “what? is he pro-life?” while at the same time he was like, “she’s pro-life?!! whattttt?!?!!” haha. really funny miscommunication…
- continuing on with the dance party, had a really good plan, and loosely made pals with rose’s best friend, and we are supposedly going to go to the salton sea when i go down to los angeles in july for wedding action. i hope it happens. I WANNA GO TO THE SALTON SEA, DAMMIT.
- after sxsw, i have a flight booked to fly back from albuquerque on march 31st. i will be leaving austin on march 21st, which gives 10 days. during these ten days, IF my prison penpal says that i’d be able to visit him on the 22nd, i will take a greyhound from austin to lawton, oklahoma, and visit him. this is the pricey route, but if he happens to be able to take visitors that day, i kind of have to… if he CAN’T take visitors that day, i’m probably going to ride with the brainstorm dudes to marfa, texas, and then they’re heading to los angeles, and i’ll probably stop off at las cruces and take a greyhound from las cruces to albuquerque cause that’d be wayyyyy more affordable.
- watched a pedro almodovar movie, “talk to her”. it was pretty excellent, and i found my spanish aural comprehension skills were pretty alright.
- just went to eat dinner with christian at the santeria, and we embarrassingly practiced speaking in spanish for almost all of the conversation, and i discovered that my spanish is really godamn bad, and that the santeria IS SO FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
- went to the beach for a day with jay and james. they’re taking off to go back to north carolina soon… the beginning of february, to be exact. they went to the party last night but i didn’t have too much of a chance to talk with them. mer… but yeah, the beach. we went to cannon beach, which was only 15 miles from where aaron and them are renting out a cabin in manzanita to record their next album, but unfortunately, since i wasn’t driving, i couldn’t get out there. which is kind of a bummer
- i am going to the forest tomorrow with rose and troy. yess! forest! and i’m going to make twice-baked potato with onion and cabbage, since i have a buncha leftover onions and potatoes… weird stuff.
- this morning i tried to make this weird ass dish for research club, but i’ve never worked with cottage cheese before. twas a little weird. i threw in a buncha oranges into cottage cheese and then put cucumber, and the cucumber totally ruined it. then i took the cucumber out and added a buncha chocolate to try and fix it, and it was not really fixed. though i just came back and tried it and it tastes WAY better now, so maybe it just had to sit for a bit!
- i was invited by tori to participate in an art show she is throwing at the end of the month. here is my description write-up to her (christian is going to help me do a sound clip):
Earlier this month, I did a day of blindness… it was remarkable in some ways, though I think a day is too long. But I think it’s something most everyone should experience. I have this crazy blindfold thing that blocks out light COMPLETELY. I want to give five-minute blindness “tours”, in which, in an ideal world, I will:
{1} Make up a t-shirt that says, “Follow me for a blindness tour.” to try and bring mall-goers to the gallery (ideally);
{2} Offer four separate tours… SCENT / SOUND / TASTE / TOUCH… I’ll bring all necessary sound samples and maybe try and attain permission from Body Shop to bring people in there if people choose SCENT;
{3} Collect money for donation to Guide Dogs For The Blind or Oregon Council Of The Blind or something else similar (need to do more research in the possibilities);
{4} Bring in a blind or sighted individuals from one of those organizations to talk to people and answer questions about blindness.
- fun conversation with shawn:
Me: “I have more leftovers than Jesus.”
Shawn: “Jesus is leftovers.”
Me: “That doesn’t even make sense.”
Shawn: “Yes, it does.”
Me: (thinking about it) “I guess you’re right.”
Shawn: “Jesus is bread.”
Me: “And Jesus came back from the dead!”
edit @ 3:47am:
after getting enraptured by music and going to bed with music blasting, i woke up a little bit ago. am talking to lenny right now and thought i would add an addendum that describes just what happened to me when i walked home today: i was walking home and i saw this guy turning the corner and i felt like there was something off but wasn’t sure what, and i walked closer and he was like jacking off with his penis through the hole, and i was just like, “what are you doing!” and he was just looking at me. and he was like same-aged (which is perhaps the most disturbing part). this is the second time i’ve been walking home from downtown and avoided any problems downtown but ran into problems in the “safer neighborhoods”. last time, some car was yelling at me from across the street, at a stop sign, and then i waved cause i’m a weirdo, and they pulled up next to me, and i was like, “what the fuck? no.” and kept walking and the guy in the passenger’s seat was just a dude that was texting, and they stopped for a sec, and drove off again. weird.
Day five? REALLY? I don’t recall actually BEING there that long.
Slept in and woke up to head over to see some bands at this unofficial party at the Beerland. I believe it was a “Hangover Party” of some sort. Past Lives guys were there and I wanted to talk to the lead singer since I’d just seen him the previous night and talked briefly, but I’m awkward and stuff. Before the show, though, we stopped by Jamba Juice, where I bought something, and Pita Pit, where Jeanette bought something, and we split a meal of Jamba Juice and Pita Pit.
The first band up was PRE, who I’d just gotten an email about to cover. Pretty cool screechy Japanese girl vocals. I dug it. Following them were The Mae Shi again, and Jeanette got a spot front and center in front of their “dreamy” guitarist. She talked to them afterwards to see about setting up an interview but that may not happen…?
The Mae Shi.
The Mae Shi’s funny theatrical guitarist <3
Jeanette’s hot man’s shoes.
AIDS Wolf was on next, who I’d wanted to see. Couldn’t really get into the music all that much. This guy may not have been too into it either, given his desperation for ear plugs (so lucky I’d gotten free Miller Light ear plugs at The Escape Frame show).
AIDS Wolf’s singer. For most bands, this picture would be inappropriate, but for this band, it’s wholly appropriate. Trust.
After that, we saw Champagne, Champagne for half a second, and I woulda liked to see Past Lives again, but we left and walked around Austin for a bit because Jeanette was catching a cab today. Made some stops on the way but nothing huge. We’d pretty much explored the fuck out of that area already.
Jeanette really wanted to lie down somewhere and suggested a nap for both of us, but I said no thanks.
Soon we got back to the Hyatt and she split a cab with people to go to the airport. I sat down in the lobby and did some video editing work, and finally got hungry enough to look for some chow. I got some yam fries, which were $5, but then the waiter said that there was a 2-for-1 on appetizers, so I got some chicken quesadillas. He was super nice and really smiley, which in turn made me really smiley, and I really liked him!
Then when I was finally done eating, he came over, gave me my bill, and said, “Okay, here’s the deal. You’re all set!”
To which I responded, incredulously, “WHAT?? WHY??”
To which he responded, “Oh! How about I just charge you for the yam fries? They’re cheaper!”
To which I responded, “Oh really????”
To which he responded, “Sure, why not?”
To which I responded, “Thanks!” although I was later kicking myself, because I think I initially had scored some FREE food.
Later when he came back and gave me my stuff, I told him he was a homie, and he said he tries to do what he can and that it was a pleasure to have me in there. SHIBBY!
After that, I grabbed all my shit and took the city bus up north to meet my CouchSurfing host. It was pretty easy and a complete straight shot.
Beautiful view while crossing the bridge to get to the bus stop.
Construction can be beautiful sometimes, too.
I was pretty pooped by the time I got there but had to make a little small talk with the residents of the household. The house was slightly filthy but everyone was very nice and my actual host didn’t return til a little while later. I’d initially walked PAST the house because I thought it was a different address (and there were three people playing football outside of the house, so I reckon I shoulda guessed), but turned back and it was in fact the house where people were playing football. On the window was emblazoned, “HOUSE OF NUTS,” with this cute little acorn and leaf pattern. Evidently a former roommate had worked at sign shop. Pretty neat.
The house itself was a total dude house and pretty freaking filthy. I didn’t even really want to talk to anyone either, cause I was real tired, but I had to. And I did. Eventually, they played the new episode of “Breaking Bad,” and I thanked my heavenly stars that I had watched the first two episodes before heading over to Austin. Cause that woulda been devastating! I LOVE THAT SHOOOOOW! They also loved “Malcolm In The Middle” in that household, so on those grounds alone, they must be good peeps.
Crashed out pretty early on this roll out pad thing, which was comfortable enough, but I kept being woken up in the middle of the night by various things… such as… the couple who lived there fighting about Lord knows what, with the girl bitching REALLY loudly… and Will, my host, singing to a country song, but harmonizing and taking his own spin on the song… kind of amusing, awesome, and atrocious at the same time… and then later, the formerly fighting couple watching television. It was a tumultuous sleep, but hey, it was free.
I’m so tired of writing these journal entries, but they must be written, dammit. After I write these, I can FINALLY move onto writing the proper REDEFINE articles about SxSW, hopefully.
This particular morning, Jeanette had to go see M. Ward — indie stuff I don’t think I really care for (though I haven’t given him the HUGEST chance, but hey, I’m listening now right as I’m writing, and I’m pretty much convinced that I wouldn’t have been interested). While she did that, I walked the mile and a half to Red River St. & 12th St., the corner of Waterloo Park, where I’d be interviewing the dudes from The Everyday Visuals and then Death Is Not A Joyride. Both were very cool, although I think the Death Is Not A Joyride. one was perhaps slightly more comfortable because they had a good place to sit still, whereas for The Everyday Visuals we were kinda moving around, trying to find a place where we could fit all five of them in comfortably. They were also not quite as good at answering questions. After the interview, I had them sing some stuff. Check out these videos below to get an idea of the interview and the ditty afterwards… sorry for the terrible, terrible camerawork. I was GOING to buy a tripod beforehand, but they were simply too big to bring along :/ By the way, I don’t know if I mentioned this, but I only had a backpack and a sling bag and all the other girls had SO MUCH SHIT.
I was hella dehydrated by the time the guys showed up, and there was no water anywhere close, so I took a swig of Christopher, the lead singer’s Fiji water bottle luckily or I would have died. I told him (via text message) that he would need to give me some water as a tax for their being late to our interview.
After the interview, I walked a bit to get a much-needed bottle of water. The whole trip I was so super dehydrated. When I finally got back, the Death Is Not A Joyride. interview happened, and since they were local to Austin, they found a quieter spot for us to do the interview. Strangely also, there were some people wearing like, marathon badge numbers, doing a scavenger hunt, and they asked Joseph of Death Is Not A Joyride. if he had any CDs he was giving out, cause that was one of the items on the scavenger hunt sheet, I guess. See the video below…
So after those interviews, I headed into the Mess With Texas festival and walked around for a wee bit. I don’t honestly quite remember. Jeanette showed up soon after. I’d waited in line to get a wrist band, only to find out I didn’t need a wristband. I’d walked out of the hotel that morning forgetting to charge my phone and forgetting to bring these CDs I had brought to give to my writer Judy Nelson, so I’d called Jeanette prior to the interviews asking her to bring my charger and the CDs, and THANK GOD, because it turned out I desperately needed to use my telephone.
The crowd at Mess With Texas.
Thao Nguyen with the Get Down Stay Down.
So, Jeanette finally met up with me — my phone was dead by then — and then we walked in to catch the latter half of Cursive’s set, and of course, I also saw the Aussie! We kinda pointed at each other open-mouthed and then moved on. Cursive was okay, but I don’t know their music SUPER well, so I wasn’t in love with the set.
Following them was Thao Nguyen with the Get Down Stay Down, but by then I had confused my schedule (because I was basing my schedule off photos I’d taken on my camera of my computer screen in the morning). I thought Thao Nguyen was the Vivian Girls, and it was confusing, because I’d listened to the Vivian Girls prior to coming to SxSW, and thought it was a French-ish dude singing their songs. Which is why Thao Nguyen was surprising. She gave a really energetic performance, but I left partway to go to the side stage to see Japanther, even though I’d mistakenly thought I was seeing The Bronx. SO confused, and my times were SO off.
Japanther.
Trash Talk.
After Japanther, we went back to the main stage, and this time the Vivian Girls really WERE on (but still not French dudes… they were still women), and my mind was boggled. I thought they sucked balls, laid down on the grass for a while, and then got up and went back to the other stage, where I thought The Bronx was playing. They were not of course. Trash Talk was playing, and I was further confused because the Trash Talk singer kept saying, “The Bronx are up next,” and I thought he was being funny in some way, because weren’t they The Bronx? But nOo, they were not, and the Bronx WAS up next. Trash Talk was okay metal shit with a singer who ended up bleeding somehow. I was confused, but eventually found a flyer, and it answered some questions; the side stage was behind by half an hour!! The Bronx came up next, and they were pretty solid in my book, probably cause they are a bit more accessible, and the singer was actually kinda funny for a metal thrashy dude.
We had to leave halfway through their set cause I needed to go meet my writer Karla at the Hilton so we could conduct an interview with the Spanish artist, Hyperpotamus. I was PISSED cause I’d been itching to see Crystal Antlers all day, but since the side stage was pushed back half an hour-ish, I had to leave before Crystal Antlers went on. SUCK.
Jeanette walked with me back to the Convention Center area, cause she had to go there to eat some expensive dinner for free with some guy involved with ReadyMade Magazine. I did the interview at Hilton with Hyperpotamus… at least, I video’d while Karla asked the questions. I charged my phone desperately while this was going on, and we initially started the interview inside the hotel, but it was loud, so we later moved it outside. The interview went well. After we did it, it was around 6:30pm, and I found out he was playing a show at the Hilton at 7:00pm, and so I stuck around to see it, since I didn’t actually have anything I was dying to see at that time anyway. His set blew my fucking MIND. It was SO GOOD. It was one dude, a loopstation, and four mics creating music live, and dancing like a maniac in between his beats, and singing… he was like a one man band, and it was amazing. The Hilton was also the perfect spot for him to perform because there was a lot of traffic flowing by, so a lot of people stopped here and there to witness the spectacular event that is a Hyperpotamus performance.
Hyperpotamus in action.
After that, Karla and I walked back towards Waterloo Park and she stopped by Club DeVille while I went back to the park. Freaking Circle Jerks were playing the main stage, which I didn’t care for, but I met up with Judy and chatted her up for a while. Her boyfriend, this scrawny kinda engineer looking dude, was totally into punk and was all up in the mosh pit, and later came back blindly (as he wasn’t wearing his glasses), saying that Austin punks were the nicest punks ever, and that they didn’t want to punch you in the face like NYC punks, but that they wanted to help you up when you fell. Haha.
After that, I left, and was mega fucking hungry, so I stopped by a taco truck for some subpar chicken tacos and struck up conversation with some dude whose band was closing out SxSW. Didn’t seem like the stuff I’d REALLY listen to but I told him I might try to stop by. I chowed down real quick and went to the Mohawk. On the way, I noticed this homeless shelter they have in the downtown area that has like open glass windows and you can look in and see all the homeless people sleeping on mats. Interesting. Not sure why that is.
Past Lives.
Saw Past Lives at the Mohawk and talked to the main singer of Past Lives briefly after to give him my card, just because they seem SO nice as a band, even being formerly of the Blood Brothers and all… so, so, SO nice. They have an interesting, really friendly stage presence. Clipd Beaks was on next, and they were interesting. Not sure quite what to make of them. By this time, it was around 10:15pm, and I wanted to stay to watch HEALTH at 12:00am, but Jeanette wanted to see the Silversun Pickups and they were at a faraway venue — the same venue DeVotchKa and Constantines played last year — but by the time we got there, there was this line already, and while the line wasn’t all that super big, they weren’t letting many people in — particularly not wristbanded people. So we waited for like, an hour and a half for no reason. But the Silversun Pickups suck live anyway, so really, it’s all good.
Tara and Stephanie showed up to wait with us partway through our waiting process, and they had badges but chose to wait outside with us. When the band started playing and we still weren’t in, we decided to try going to the Used show, but that was full as a MOTHERFUCKER, and then went to some ghetto sports bar because they really wanted to get a drink. That was okay. After that, we went to a shot bar, and I drank some gross Oatmeal Cookie shot that was initially good but then made me feel pretty sick. Everyone else got pretty tossed. I was sober-ish. I’d been trying to get people to go to an electronic show since MSTRKRFT and Pendulum were playing, but no one really wanted to do anything except for get drunk, which is fine. The sports bar was super boring cause they were all taking about work, but after that was fine.
Then Tara bought me a hot dog, and we waited in line for a while, but it was hilarious, because the hot dog cooking guy was inside this little booth with grills on either side of him, and he kept burning himself. It was really actually quite amusing… and quite gross… but whatever. The hot dogs were DELICIOUS even though it was a bit TOO spicy for my tastes. Shoulda known, considering the booth was called DIABLO DOGS!!! HAIL YESSSS.
BTW, this whole time in Austin, allergies were DEATH.
Afterwards, we sat down on a curb to eat the hot dogs and met some random people. One guy was really sad and really wanted a hot dog, but we jumped in line RIGHT before the line got really long, and after that the line was absurd, I guess. He came, talked, left, and came back to tell us he was unable to find a suitable hot dog with a short line. Turned out he was from Portland or lived there for a while, so there was some chatting about that. I gave him a business card and he IMMEDIATELY folded it up and crumpled it into a square, which is cool, because I do that too, but I was like, “WTF!” and he’s like, “You weren’t supposed to see that!” and tried to uncrease it back… but that never works. Jeanette tried to feed him her old pizza crust but he wouldn’t have it.
After he left, some dudes came and Jeanette tried throwing pizza crusts into their mouths. They were all bout it, although none of the pieces actually made it INTO their mouths. One guy asked me for my number, but I said it didn’t matter since I lived in Seattle, and he said, “It’s cool, I’ll drive to see you,” and I’m like, “Oh please,” and he’s like, “What? You don’t believe me?” and I’m not sure how the rest of that panned out but he left in good spirits.
Afterwards, I briefly held up a “Talk To Us” sign, scrawled on an old paper plate. No one really stopped other than these three people, two of which turned out to work for a radio station. They were both writers and one gave me his card and told me to email him because he was looking for a good publication to write for. I did email him, but haven’t heard back yet. :[
Oh so some guy had a mini bike, one of those really tiny bikes… and Jeanette tried riding that for a while. It was cool. The guy was trying to lead us to some bar or something with free drinks, but Jeanette left early because she wasn’t feeling good. She said she’d try and make it back on her own. Which is too bad because the guy pretty much was leading us because he’d made friends with her and had gotten her phone number for when he went to California for Coachella… or some shit.
When she left, we were still following the dude, but soon the dude saw someone he knew and went to talk to her, and Stephanie and Tara were like, “We want to go, too!” so they quickly hooked arms and walked away, and the guy was left to do whatever. Not sure when or if he noticed. We walked a few blocks together but then had to part ways.
I headed back to the hotel on my own, and on the way was hit on by some Mexican dude who pronounced his H’s, as in, “Hi,” really coarsely. I’m not sure why. But I heard him speaking Spanish, and then he turned over and said, “Hi,” to me, and I instinctively said, “Hola,” and he was confused and was like, “Hola or hi?” and I said, “Hi.” He tried to pester me forever into giving him my phone number but I said it was useless since I was from Seattle, but he kept trying, and I said no, and then he asked for my MySpace, so I said okay, so he tried to type it into his phone, but he was too drunk or didn’t know how to operate his phone or something. It took him FOREVER to type it in, and when he’d typed it in, it still didn’t work, so I said nevermind and he kept saying, “Give me your MySpace! We can talk!” and I was just like, “It’s okay,” and, “It’s okay,” is pretty much my rejection line ALWAYS because I don’t know how to reject people. It’s always like… “What’s your phone number?” “Nah, it’s okay.” Haha.
Then I walked home more of the way by myself, stopped and saw some street performers, and was in a fucking great mood. Saw a woman in a yellowish cape on the way, and it was of course Jeanette, trying to catch a cab with another girl, so I was like, “Jeanette! We’re like two blocks away from the hotel!” so she’s like, “I know,” and got up and walked with me the rest of the way (which wasn’t that far). She was dying though, I guess, and I later found out she had her eyes? closed? the whole time we were walking back. YESSS.
After going to bed hella late, woke up at 10:00am or 11:00am. Got ready in a jiffy, because I wanted to see Parenthetical Girls ((GIRLS)) and HEALTH. Went to the Habana Calle 6 and missed what musta been the latter half of HEALTH’s set, because we should have been in Habana BAR not Habana Calle 6. The other problem was that we went to get Jimmy John’s beforehand, and while Jimmy John’s was delicious, it was not HEALTH. It is fairly HEALTH-y, however, but that’s not good enough! But man, is their French bread delicious or what!
The main problem with missing a HEALTH set is that I missed my lover, HEALTH’s John Famigletti, in action. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. He’s so hawt. One of these days, one of these shows, I’ll actually talk to him. Someday.
While waiting for The Mae Shi to come on, Titus Andronicus were playing in the side room. Pretty straight-forward, Irish-esque punk. Don’t care for it.
Super theatrical.
SUPER theatrical!
The Mae Shi were on next, and they were super funny and theatrical. I’m pretty convinced their bassist must be SOME kind of theatre dude, because his movements and facial expressions are so damn hilarious… not to mention the fact that he was wielding my lover’s bass because his bass broke.
Jeanette’s hot Mae Shi guy.
The Mae Shi’s crowd.
A parachute the Mae Shi dudes spread out! And I’m in the black and white plaid.
Jeanette had a crush on the Mae Shi’s guitarist. He’s good-looking, definitely, but not skinny enough for my emaciated-man-loving-tastes. I also brought my camera this particular day, but forgot to grab my battery because I was in such a rush this morning, so Jeanette used my camera lens and shot the Mae Shi photos and stuff.
After that, it was onto Stubb’s (and seeing the Australian on the way), because Jeanette wanted to go there for the Spin Magazine party. I’d totally forgotten I was supposed to watch Chairlift right after watching The Mae Shi, but oh well :/ Ended up at Stubb’s for FUCKING FOREVER. The Crystal Method first played, and they were decent. Whatever, though. The Black Lips were next, and they were relatively good, but not exactly my bag. I did get some good shots of them, though.
The Black Lips.
The Black Lips.
The Black Lips. GRILLZ, Y’ALL!
Glasvegas was next, and Glasvegas was a band that Micha had said was super good and that Jeanette really wanted to see. Sucked balls. I don’t understand it at all. And when I say I don’t understand mainstream tastes, Glasvegas pretty much epitomizes my inability to understand. I see nothing redeeming about their music whatsoever. They are like Viva Voce in my book, but worse, because at least Viva Voce has a lead lady who can shred like a motherfucker, and Glasvegas has, as far as I can see, jack shit to offer. Their drummer also sucked balls; she seriously used the same exact rhythm for EVERY song and was staring at her hands the entire time as if she honestly had just learned how to play drums. Her drum-playing skills and abilities are on par with my drum-playing skills and abilities when I practice with Rock Band or something… they’re fucking terrible, in short.
And yeah. Mainstream tastes and my tastes are completely confused and do not maketh the sense together. It’s a bizarre world, I tells ya.
One of Jeanette’s Glasvegas pics.
N.A.S.A. did sets before and after Glasvegas, and it was good stuff.
Echo & The Bunnymen came next, and I wasn’t listening too closely, because I was upstairs talking to this guy named Jify who manages this band and is this pretty good-looking Indian dude. Echo & The Bunnymen were definitely 100x better than Glasvegas, though. Imma tell ya that!
They were giving out free Havaianas at that show because they were a sponsor of the Spin party. Unfortunately, when we got there, they were all out. They also gave out free Flip Mini video cameras, and Jeanette and I walked away for like 5 minutes to sit down and they threw them out and Jeanette was quite bummed. Haha. But at least she won a The Container Store gift certificate the previous day!!! She did also get a free SxSW t-shirt because the Flip Mini people were giving out t-shirts, which fulfilled her dreams of getting a SxSW t-shirt this year. I also got one, but they are super big and don’t actually fit on me. But perhaps it will be my new sleep shirt
Then we did nothing for a while. Metallica was announced as this secret Guitar Hero guest band, so we were trying to stay in Stubb’s… because Echo & The Bunnymen ended the Spin party, and there was an hour before the next party started, which was a Guitar Hero we didn’t have backstage passes for. Needless to say, we were trying to stay in the downstairs floor of Stubb’s to see if we could stick around for Metallica, but we got kicked out after trying to stay there forever. The bouncer / worker guy literally had to ask us like… at least ten times… before anyone moved a little bit. It woulda been cool to see Metallica, but whatever. Just to say that you have seen them, but whatever.
Anarchy on the streets of SxSW!
After that, we went to Jeanette’s obsession, Pita Pit, and then walked all the way back to see The Escape Frame. We got lost on the way there and asked a few people for an idea, but no one had a real solid idea! Especially the police officer and dude at the Fader Fort… they totally directed us in the completely wrong direction. Whatever. The show was at the Independent, which I think is usually not a music venue but an art gallery. Nobody was there except for like, six other people who were not in another band or somehow affiliated with the band. Perhaps fewer. Afterwards, I went to talk to the lead singer to give him my business card and see if he’d gotten my e-mail about their album review. It seems he did not. He asked for feedback. I told him basically that his performance is pretty decent but that his guitarist sucked balls and looked bored as fuck and needed to work on his stage presence. Their drummer was also good, but evidently leaving soon, and he kinda looked like Johnny Depp. Their lead singer told me to tell their guitarist the feedback I’d told him, but I told him that it was wayyyy too mean to say that stuff to his face, and that I wasn’t going to do it. So. I didn’t do it.
Scissors For Lefty’s lead singer.
We left ASAP to go see Scissors For Lefty, and we had to sit at the bar for a while because the previous bands were whatevers. The one downstairs was kinda decent but I didn’t stick around to listen so much. Initially I was confused as to who the members of Scissors For Lefty were because I didn’t recognize the bassist who was totally hot and wearing like this vest with no shirt. I still don’t think I quite recognize him but whatever. The lead singer was funny, spunky. I talked to him afterwards briefly, and asked him if he remembered me, and that I’d done a photo shoot. Conversation like this:
Him: “Of course I remember you! It’s been a while!” (<– a HINT that he knew who I was, although… does it really hint at anything?!!)
Me: “Yeah. Here’s my business card because we’re going to write a review about your show and you should check it out. Do you have any more shows coming up?”
Him: “We have a Lance Armstrong Benefit show tomorrow, but this is the show we really wanted.”
Me: “Well, hopefully that’ll be karmic justice and you won’t get testicular cancer.”
Him: “I agree.” *Hi-five.
The end. Cute. Then off to the Karma Lounge, which was hella far away, to see The Bird And The Bee. My Jerusalem was playing before them, and they were pretty good, although by now I was so tired I just wanted to sit, so there was a lot of sitting and finally standing and then more sitting. They had a lot of members, like, I want to say eight – one of which was this super hot Persian or Indian chick who played bass.
While we were waiting for The Bird And The Bee to come on, Jeanette recognized Perez Hilton and took a photo with him!
Afterwards, The Bird And The Bee finally came on and they had like the lead singer, the keyboard guy, and then three other backup dancers / miscellaneous instrumentalists / singers. Was cool. Sounded really good. I managed pretty much to get to the front row of every show at SxSW, so it was the schiznit.
On the walk back from that venue to our house, I overheard some dudes talking about Seattle, so I started talking to them about Seattle. They were transplants from Oklahoma / Seattle who were moving to Austin and saying how great the city was. They were cool, and one of them was there and had gotten into all of these parties cause his sister was a promoter. I forget names… they were going to see Dredg, though. We were going home. Word.
it maybe seems a bit ridiculous, but this book “came to me” through a series of dreams, and like we all know, 
last couple notes, again relating to literature: evolver’s kent had mentioned this book >>>
i am definitely wanting to use it as a primer for how to solve the social problems of the world. tis going to require a shit ton of research and effort, but like i said… all i seriously want to do now is write books… sample from ends and means (that has made it into my book):
This guy may not have been too into it either, given his desperation for ear plugs (so lucky I’d gotten free Miller Light ear plugs at The Escape Frame show).
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